AIBU to expect a cleaner family bathroom when staying with in-laws?

[Lavendar01]

Husband and I are visiting his parents for a week, and his sister lives there too.

There's a family bathroom that only my SIL uses, and it's got sanitary towel wrappers on the floor, a wet used towel, and clothes piled on the laundry basket or the floor. No handwash or hand towel either.

We both feel this is pretty basic etiquette and hygiene. Are we overreacting?

If you were me, what would you do (or not do)? She has a tendency to react defensively to feedback

Maybe SiL is a chaotic ADHD type who does not mean to be this way but is out of control.

This.
Also I take my own toiletries and towels when staying with family or friends.

I would stop going. It sounds disgusting.

I said that her brother should clean it and then ask SIL to keep it that way too.

i.e. the responsibility of keeping it tidy should belong to those who use it.

This.
I was always made to make my brother&Sil's bed before they came to stay at my parents house (even though I didn't live in the house either). And "run a cloth around the basins". Like hell did my brother do anything before I ever arrived at my parents house.
OP, would your husband clean the bathroom for his sister if it was the other way around?

I always take my own bar soap anyway (I hate plastic bottles) and TBH I’d just tidy it up.

SIL sounds lazy and inconsiderate. I'd be mortified if someone wrote this post about my bathroom (although they wouldn't as I have some basic idea of how to make a bathroom look for guests!).
It's for your DH to deal with. If it were me I'd bring the rubbish to an obvious bin like a kitchen one to throw away, bring in the wet used towel and ask where to put it (e.g. washbasket/washing machine) and ask if there's some spare handwash and a couple of hand towels.
She can take that however she wants to.

This. It's not a hotel.

Maybe she didn't want you to visit? Maybe she doesn't want to share the bathroom? Maybe she simply doesn't feel like cleaning the bathroom right now just because you're visiting? Presumably her brother is also capable of cleaning and obtaining soap?

Why can't you use the bathroom your H's parents use since they're presumably the ones who invited you?

volunteer to clean it! i’m sure they will love that

Further context, how much cleaning does your DH do? Perhaps they are all of the same ilk?

Maybe she's depressed at the breakdown of her relationship and doesn't have the mental resilience for cleaning right now. Or indeed judgemental house guests.

Just buy some soap and ask MIL for hand towels FFS. It's not a big deal.

I agree100% with this.
When going to live with relatives, I'm just grateful that they would allow us to stay and host us.
Instead of moaning, I would tidy up and buy some soap or handwash to put there for the duration of my stay.
I would just use my own towel aswell.
Afterwards, its up to them how they keep their bathroom.

Sounds grim. When I have guests I minimise my stuff in the bathroom so guests have somewhere to put things. I certainly wouldn't leave out everything or my clothes for that matter! I give each guest their own towel to use too. I also leave out a cloth and spray so if anybody wants to give the shower/bath/basin a quick going over between uses they can.

So was I. Quick wipe of the bathroom and the kitchen. Even for family I think it’s common decency.

I don’t understand why most of MN seems to think this woman child is in the right just leaving litter and laundry all over the floor when there’s guests (even if related). It also makes me wonder about her hygiene if she isn’t washing her hands after the toilet, especially after handling soiled period pads (you assume based on new wrappers on floor). Grim.

I think the key thing here is - I do think there's an expectation that whoever has invited a guest does a quick tidy up by inviting them you're extending hospitality.

However there is no evidence SIL is the one who invited them. Therefore this isn't her job. Also, it's her brother - if she didn't invite him I don't see why she has any obligation to clean for him. She's not his servant. It's her home (and presumably formerly his home).

Don't like it, you don't have to stay.