It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

What has age got to do with size?

Absolutely the fuck not. Matching thong bikinis? What planet are they on? That is an absurd expectation to put on people.

I’ve probably not articulated it well. They are in their early 30’s whilst I’m heading into the ‘peri years’ where the spread is beginning to take hold.

Absolutely ridiculous telling grown women what swimwear you have to wear! Especially thongs- no thanks!

Nothing would make me wear or be photographed in a thong bikini. What a ridiculous request.

Just do it for the photo and then change or get a sarong on. Mumsnet will tell you absolutly not and a thong is disgusting etc but real life will tell you to do it for the sake of a photo, push yourself out of your comfort zone and get yourself some good karma

Seems completely unreasonable you should have to buy any specific swimwear to me! Are you in the UK? Because I hear Americans tend to expect bridesmaids and the party to buy their dresses, and have all sorts of rules about parties, but never heard of that here.
I wouldn't be keen on it. Any hen dos I've gone on haven't involved buying special outfits.

Tell the MOH the wrong size. Shame. Lucky you have alternative swimwear with you, isn't it? And stand at the back for the group photo.

Utterly ridiculous idea and you're definitely not being unreasonable.

If a man insisted that a woman wear a skimpy bikini for a photo, or indeed any reason, despite her strong objections, can you imagine the reaction on here?

Ok. Genuine question. Why can't you stand up for yourself? Why can't you say no?
If you're a people pleaser, learn to say "no, I won't be doing this".

YANBU

I am in my 30s but my stomach has been wrecked by 3 operations and 2 pregnancies. I also only wear underwired bikini tops. So no way would I wear something like she is describing. And also not in white. Don’t give in.

Wear what you are comfortable in. I think it’s really shitty to dictate that your guests on a hen do must wear a thong bikini, even just for the photos.

What is it with bridezillas dictating this kind of shite to their guests - yes, you are invited to a hen do or wedding therefore you are a guest - and it’s in poor taste and tone deaf to dictate what people must wear.

Rubbish

... because the women who go on these things don't ever seem to assert themselves!

Yanbu at all

Wearing white swimwear for the photo is a perfectly reasonable compromise.

Stand your ground.

Agreed.

I'm so glad I missed this whole generation of OTT extra hen does.
You are a grown woman wear what you want.

You are there to celebrate her upcoming wedding that's it. X

This seems to be a “thing” nowadays with abroad hens where every day/night has a theme. I’d just stand firm that you’ll only wear swimwear you’re comfortable in but are happy to step out of those particular photos if she’s worried about you ruining her photos.

I think that she has already done this and is now receiving pressure from her sister. But Op needs to continue to say no, I agree.

I think it's completely fine to have your own rules about what parts of your own body you want to be covered in public. Even if I was very body confident I wouldn't be comfortable in that.

And this is why I would never go to any hen do. Shit, boring, organised fun where the hard of thinking arrange things simply to take a picture. God, it’s so boring now. Even the way ‘hens’ stand for a group picture with the bride in the middle and everyone on either side turned slightly to face her, dull as dog shit.

Madness. Tell them to AI your image, lol.

Me too.

Anyone trying to tell me to expose my saggy cellulite in a thong bikini would be roundly told to fuck right off.

Who is going to see these photos? Do they want them to be matching so they can be posted on social media??

Hell-to-the-no would I have my bikini pics shared by randoms, and if they’re not for social media, why do they all need to be matching?

I wouldn't want to shave my bikini line for what a thong bikini would require...I wear little swim shorts for that exact reason!

No way would I wesr something that I wasn't comfortable in wearing.

Genuinely, why should someone do something they really aren't comfortable with for the sake of a photograph? Surely the organisers should be happy their friends and family are there to share the special day, and most importantly, be comfortable and happy?

Wear the thong bikini, with your Bridget Jones granny pants on underneath.

(Is it too late to pull out though, sounds like it will be a bit of a rough one with penis straws and bunny ears )