It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

Did you read my post, or just the title? 🙄

Does seem absolutely ridiculous but is it a hill
you're willing to die upon? I’d probably just suck it up and ask that the group photo gets taken first before anything else as you will be changing by x time!

How utterly vacuous! You absolutely don't have to do something that'll make you uncomfortable, for something that really is nonsensical. You do you, they of course can do whatever they want.

Why would any bride want a photo of women in a white thong bikini as a memento of their hen do - tell your sister and her mates to get lost. Wear what you want.

It’s so funny how people preach about boundaries and ‘no is a complete sentence’ but are then trying to make out the OP is unreasonable for not wanting an unflattering piece of cheese wire stuffed up her arse for the sake of Instagram. Op don’t do it. I wouldn’t want to wear one either and I’d be even less happy for it to be shared all over social media which will inevitably happen.

A fair compromise would be to buy a normal white bikini. With a full bottom.

why on earth would you buy a bikini that you are extremely uncomfortable in that looks terrible on you for the purpose of being photographed in the very thing that makes you feel so uncomfortable and looks terrible?!! Absolutely no way!

Hard no. And I’m a people pleaser. I just googled full coverage white bikini bottoms. You can get a pair for about £5 online. Wear the top if you are comfortable in it, big bottoms. I LOVE a full coverage bottom!

They want everyone matching for the photos?

Ah, so you’re not actually a guest; you’re a prop.

Nice.

No that’s a lot to ask of people. Just ask DS why she’s so insistent on you wearing matching swimwear and can she not see how you might feel.

Depending how much it cost, I might agree to buy one, wear with a sarong for the photo and immediately change. If that would make my sister happy.
But I'd be disappointed that the "photo opportunity" was a higher priority for her than her sister's dignity and comfort.
And I'd probably be looking forward less to the hen and seeing it as something to get through rather than a fun time away with my sister and her friends before her wedding.
And also relieved that it wasn't a thing in my own circle of friends.

In my early 30s I was ‘curvy’ and would not have been seen dead in a thong bikini! It’s not an age thing really, it’s a size thing!! Thong bikinis aren’t the classiest of items anyway even for a tiny size 6!!

Having said that.. most of the hen dos I’ve been on have involved penis straws and drinking games so maybe ‘classy’ is the wrong choice of word lol.

Does this seem familiar to anyone else?

The photo is the worst bit! It'll be there on someone's phone/shared with friends/posted on Instagram for ever more.

Could be. What was the last nonsensical hen party thread? Was it where they all had various sets of matching outfits?

This ⬆️
Just say "no".

How hideously tacky. They're in their 30s?! It's not even a size thing! I'm very slim and wouldn't feel happy with my arse hanging out for titillation.

I think this tells you everything you need to know about this hen weekend - I'd pull out now.

Ugh why have hen dos become so extra with the matching outfits and over scheduling. Yanbu to say no you dont want to wear it end of. Nonsensical

Yes. I read it. 🙄

I am a very very big people pleaser and this would be a very hard no from me.
Even for one photo would be a no, I wouldn’t want anyone to have a photo of my arse in a thong!

I know it’s hard when everyone is on at you but I would definitely stand firm on this. There is plenty of other photos you can be in fully dressed in to show your attendance.

Yeah. Fuck that.

Dont worry about putting size up op. I would commnet if she could order you brief bottoms as no way are uou wearing a thong (other ladies may thank u)

Pick me! Pick meeeeee!!!

OP stand your ground and do not do it. They cannot force you.

Well, that's the obvious question, but we won't get an answer.

A thong isn't disgusting, but if someone doesn't feel comfortable wearing one, they shouldn't be bullied into it.