It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

Absolutely fucking not. I'm in my 30's and pretty comfortable with my body. I still wouldn't agree to being photographed in a thong bikini because I'd find it cringy as hell.

That's such an entitled request, I'd be concerned about what else they'd expect.

What Is the other required matching outfit, OP? Nothing as horrifying as a thong bikini, I hope!

If it was my sister pressurising me to do this, I’d be very upset that she cared so little for me and was willing to see me made deeply uncomfortable. For an Instagram photo. I think you should tell her that and also tell her just how disappointed you are in her.

The whole organised fun thing doesn’t appeal to me either. Do you really want to go?

I’m size 8, in my 30s, proud of my body and NOTHING would make me wear a thong bikini. I have kids and want to dress like a mum and not a love island entrant!

I wouldn't bother going to the hen, tbh.

Just tell sis that on reflection it's not your thing, you don't want to be ordered around by some random woman and you are certainly not buying or wearing a thong let alone sharing your size in a group chat.

I’m all for joining in with t-shirts, dresses, wigs… whatever! But a thong bikini- hell no! I’m also in my 40’s, reasonably happy and confident with my figure, not a bloody chance I’d let somebody choose my swimwear. Surely you aren’t the only lady miffed at this!

Oh I can't remember I think most dissolve and become one and the same to me as a reader.
I rarely stick with hen threads all the way through.
I get to a point of nope can't read anymore.

This is bonkers and I honestly can believe someone would do this for a hen do (I’ve been on many hen dos and nobody has asked me to wear a thong or even matching swimwear!).

I would say that I can’t wear a thong due to my massive anal piles and see what she says about that!

This photo shoot or whatever fresh hell is planned is going to look so sad and dated. Their children will vow to never be like their mothers. Cant they do a team exercise that is actually pro the group? Even if you looked amazing in a crap bikini you would feel shame. (Edit for typo)

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.
She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.
I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).
I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

It is a shame you didn't put it in the group, as I expect most of the other people will be thinking the same thing, and will very much back you up if you say something. In fact there probably is still time.

Quite frankly, whatever it is they want to dress you up in - even if it were something you were comfortable in - it is a ridiculous expectation that everyone should have to fork out for matching clothing of any description, on top of the costs already incurred by agreeing to go on the hen.

Seriously, put a message in the group saying "Don't get one for me as I won't wear it" and I bet you'll find you aren't the only one.

Why would you not be in ANY of the photos, just because you don't want to be in one photo wearing a white thong bikini? Tell your sister you're coming to support her and if no one can cope with one of the group wearing a slightly different swimsuit in a photo then that's a real shame for them, but you'll just step out of that bit. No need for anyone to be 'gutted'.

Puzzled now too about why it needs to be a thong bikini, as in a normal photo that wouldn't be visible.. is there some hideous plan where you 'moon' and give a back view? I don't imagine everyone will like that..

Omg you are a million miles away from being unreasonable!

Being forced into wearing a thong is a big no in itself but also being photographed in it!? They can stuff it.

Honestly this would put me off attending altogether! Recently at the beach I noticed lots of women of all sizes wearing thong bikinis and they all looked great and really comfortable. I however would not feel comfortable at all being seen in a thong, and especially not photographed and I think that’s a totally valid feeling.

“I’m not sharing my arse on social media”

because you just know SOMEONE is going to share that photo

Im not sure id put a thong on for a photo if someone was holding a gun to my husbands head …

"No, Sis, I'm not wearing a fucking uncomfortable cheese wire thong.
I'd rather take the bloody precious photo than be in it.
I've got a swimsuit, it's that or I'll wear shorts and a top."

😂😂
I hear you! I think it was on the last hen do thread that someone suggested MN get a "wet lettuce" emoji!

Just tell her you are not spending all this money to feel embarrassed you will be wearing your own stuff and are happy to stand at the back of any photos.

Oh lord, not the bum photo! It’s a bit of a thing isn’t it? All lined up from behind… really not fair to insist.

The correct response. It is a hen do not an audition for Love Island.

Absolutely fucking not. What the hell is wrong with people?!

Oh dear god 😲

Is late 30s, very early 40s the traditional peri years? 7 years isn’t a huge age gap. I don’t think YABU at all, but I also think you are talking yourself down a bit too, you are not the odd one out of the group because of a 7 year age gap. That being said you absolutely should wear what you are comfortable with so that you can feel confident and comfortable on the trip too.

I wouldn’t agree to this either! I find buying swimwear tricky with a good sized bust and there is no way I’d put myself in a costume that I’d look hideous in! I doubt the MOH is going to be ordering costumes from bravissimo!

It’s likely the pre baby, post baby era. The bride’s friends still being pre.