It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

For someone apparently old enough to get married she sounds really immature
YANBU. I am not as old as you, am slim, and I wouldn’t wear a thong bikini neither. Nor expect anyone else to.

Let’s not make it bigger than it is.

I actually think it is quite abusive for your sister to try to insist upon this.

She is forcing you to wear revealing underwear, pose, have it photographed, and then she will circulate that photo, all for her gratification.

Utterly out of order.

Absolutely no way to the thong! I bet you’re not the only one not wanting to wear it.

Bloody hell this is Bridezillary gone mad. Tell her kindly that it's out of the question and you will bring a nice bathrobe for the photo shoot.

yanbu for the sake of the landfills and planet as well as your bum’s dignity

Sounds more likely if she has kids, that’s not what she said though

not a chance I’d wear a thong or a bikini.

Tell them to go an raffle themselves

I agree. It's going to be one of those photos where you stand in a line with your arms around each other but with your backside towards the camera for a ‘cheeky’ picture. Great if your 20 years old with a perfectly pert bottom. Not so much for the majority of the population with ‘average’ figures.

Is this an actual thing?! Why?! For whose benefit? I wouldn't want my friends' exposed bums on my hen do camera roll! Why would I?!

Fuck the photos

I understand why being a bit larger than the others may make you feel uncomfortable, OP, but honestly I'm a size 8 and there is no way on this earth I'd be posing in a thong bikini for a photo. It's not about your size or age, it's your personal comfort levels and it's not OK to make someone wear something they would feel uncomfortable or exposed in. That's terrible behaviour from your sister.

Is 'henzilla' a word? If not, it should be.

She's being absolutely ridiculous, OP! Honestly, the batshit and imo completely unreasonable demands that get imposed for these events, probably all just for social media.

I dread to think what she'll be like over the actual wedding. Honestly I think it's such a shame that so many people these days seem to value 'perfect' photos over the actual presence of the people they claim to care about.

OP, you are nicer than me. Never ever ever would I reply to a message about 'consistent outfits' with anything other than 'no thanks'. I appreciate that weddings do sometImes seem to make people lose their minds but this is way too much. There is unreasonable behaviour here, but it isn't yours.

This. Follow this solid advice in this situation and life in general. You are so right SockPlant. Good call.

@Lau226 If you're a 16, tell them to order a 6...oops, typo!
It'll never fit...how very fortunate that you packed a modest white swimsuit and have opposable thumbs with which to work the camera.

Thong bikini , hell no and I don't even have insecurities about my arse. I just find them vile.

Also, in what world is 'I don't want to get my bum out in public' not a perfectly acceptable reason for not doing it?! I guarantee you that there are absolutely millions of women up and down the country who don't want to get their bums out in public, including young slim ones!

If you can’t say to your sister I won’t wear a thong bikini….what is the point of that relationship? I don’t see love. Absolutely ghastly.

I would never. Have they even checked thong swimwear is permitted at the beach club?

So what if your sister is having none of it? Just wear what you want on the day. They can't force you into a bikini you don't want to wear.
If she keeps talking to you about it until then, just keep saying you won't be wearing it, there's nothing else to say really.

Matching colours is enough. They’re being very obtuse. Forcing a style or shape on everyone regardless of body type is pretty poor form

Fuck that. I have never and will never wear a thong bikini. I wouldnt feel comfortable. Id say no very clearly I'm the group chat. I wouldnt talk about your body. Id just say. Im happy to wear white swimwear. I will pick something i like and will feel comfortable it. TBH, white would be an issue for me as well. Im dark and id be scared about it going see through.

@ruethewhirl LOL at Henzilla It might not have been a word, but I think it is now!! 🦇💩👰🏻

Hell would freeze over before I would wear a white thong bikini. Even leaving aside the thong, I’m so pale that I’d look practically naked in a white bikini. Stand your ground, you can match in the photos without wearing the exact same bikini!

Also who even looks at these bloody pictures ever again after the first insta post or whatever? Such alot of effort and making people feel uncomfortable for nothing really.