It’s a hen party one. Annoyed my DSis

[Lau226]

DSis is 7 years younger than me and I’ve agreed to go on her abroad hen weekend next month. Every detail has been planned by her MoH and there’s an in depth itinerary.

Last night, MoH put a message in the group to say for 2 of the events (a meal and a beach club) there will be consistent outfits required, one of these will be swimwear.

She is ordering the swimwear and put a poll in the group to ask people to record their size.

I take issue with this because 1. The swimwear in question is a thong bikini and 2. I find it embarrassing to share my size in front of the group (I am larger than them all, which is why I mentioned the age gap).

I privately messaged MoH to say I’ll bring my own swimwear which will also be white so it matches.

Dsis called me an hour later (she’s not in the group) - she said that I should just wear it for the photo at the start and then change straight out of it l, that she wants me to get involved and she’d be gutted if I’m not in any photos and not matching. I shared why I’m reluctant but she’s having none of it.

Am I being awkward here? I feel like it’s a lot to expect. Before anyone suggests it, I can’t cancel and I will be going on the hen, she’s my sister and it’s paid for.

I get the whole it's my wedding it's my choices thing but I think like making someone feel uncomfortable and have photos by choosing something to wear which isn't a bridesmaid dress or part of the day is unfair and not realistic. If someone genuinely wants to have people in their wedding and love and care for that person they would be making choices that would include them not make them feel uncomfortable.

It doesn't matter what age or size anybody is. If they don't want to wear something, nobody has the right to force them too. Frankly, the whole idea of dictating where other people go, what they do and what they wear is ridiculous. Just refuse.

Fuck that, I'm glad I'm older and have no friends who are engaged. Everything's a photo opportunity, matching bikinis, how tacky, no thanks. What a load of bollocks.

Of all the things someone might want to have memories and photos of, how does the bare arses of a sister and friends even make the list?

Just tell your sister your bum looks the same as the last time she saw it (which I assume she did at some point in your lives) only bigger with added stretch marks and cellulite. And while she and her friends might want you to see their backsides, that isn't going to be a memorable part of the trip for you but you'll suffer it as it is clearly important to them.

God that hennie already sounds horrendous. Stick to your guns OP. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

I would only wear a thong bikini to save my dog from certain death. WTF. It's a hen party not a hazing ritual.

OP, I am very sorry for your predicament but am loving the explosion of new vocabulary: I would love to get MOHzilla into a sentence tomorrow and Henzillary will stay with me forever. The correct answer to being asked to wear a consistent thong bikini is to tell the asker to shove it up their arse (don't do this, I suppose, but if you did I think the pun alone would justify it). The posteriority of the bum photo made me laugh out loud. You are in a really rubbish situation here OP but I hope this thread has made you laugh and realise you are not being unreasonable.

There is no way on earth that I would wear a thong bikini, and I am not particularly self conscious about my body. I just fucking hate them. And I refuse to buy clothes that I won’t wear again. The planet is already struggling under the weight of so many excess clothes we could stop making them now and we’d have enough for the whole population for the next 60 years.

It’s a hen party, not conscription. Wear what you like.

Dear Sis. I’ve decided to wear the thongy thingy so you get the photos you want. However, be on notice that to make sure I’m in the wedding party/family photos I’ll be wearing it to the wedding too. That’s OK isn’t it ? Love.Sis

OK, no, I wouldn’t but I really would love to. 😉

I’m in my mid 60s and went to a spa with numerous pools as part of a hen weekend. Photos were banned in the spa although someone managed to take one of the bride, with her consent. I wear bikinis but I have never and would never wear a thong bikini. They look horrible. Just say no.

I think the fact you’re offering to buy a white bikini in a style you like in order to go along with the theme is already going above & beyond.
if that’s not good enough for your sister she can do one

I read things like this, the vacuousness, crassness and wastefulness of it while simultaneously watching swathes of Europe burning and I think we are so fucked and mostly deserve to be.

Beyond terrible advice.
Where do you think that photo is going to
end up?

on social media for god knows who to see. People can choose to wear and be photographed in a thong but OP does not need to push herself out of her comfort zone and be bullied into also doing it if she’s not comfortable.

It’s posts like this which make me realise we are doomed as a species.
It’s unbelievable the number of people who haven’t got a backbone,

@Bigtrapeze You could add MILzilla and MoBzilla too..?😁
🦇💩👰🏻

Why the fuck should any grown woman wear anything she doesn't feel comfortable in? Especially for a stupid "matching" photo.

Fuck no.

I wouldn’t have agreed to this in my 20’s with my then size 8 figure, never mind 20 years later and a few sizes up.

Who are these pictures going to be shared with?

That’s my main issue.

Hell would freeze over (at any age or size) before I’d be posing in a thong bikini for a photo that’s likely to be shared on social media.

It’s a massive invasion of privacy.

If they want a photo of everyone from behind then the thongs are an integral feature. If it's not a bum photo then it wouldn't matter and OP could just stand at the back of the group. The bride is being ridiculous, trying to bully her sister into something she is very uncomfortable with.

Agreed.

Best you don't go.
I genuinely couldn't be arse with such utterly ridiculous demands.
In their 30's🙄.
My teen daughters wouldn't entertain such nonsense.

I wouldn't wear a thong bikini now in my 50s or back in my 20s, 30s or 40s. And I wouldn't allow a photo in a bikini now or ever. Especially not on social media. I wouldn't even wear a white bikini so you are already being a nicer person than me.

Respond in the thread.

"Ha ha no chance, I'll sit this one out!!"

Completely absurd.

"But you wont be in the photos!"

"Good! I dont WANT to be photos wearing a thong bikini! I will be wearing my own swimwear and I am happy to not be inthe photos"

What is it with matchy matchy everything these days?!

How utterly pathetic are some people?! You are not being unreasonable. You wear what you are comfortable with.

Urgh why the hell would they want a picture "from behind"?!