To think if I’d had my time over, I’d have stuck at one child

[knighttime]

I know a lot of people think it’s easier because they play together but honestly life with just one child seems so much nicer, calmer, so much lovely one to one time devoted to one, their interests tailored for and you get to properly enjoy parenting.

I seem to be really unique on this as everywhere I see having two is easier and I don’t see it myself?

I don't know if it's easier, but I could never go back and un-have any of my much loved children. So for that reason YABU.

How old are your children?

YANBU I love DD2 and wouldn't want to be without her but life with one child looks so much nicer!

I hate you are me but you are me.

My youngest is easier as well, in some ways anyway but broadly I would say I find them easier to parent. I love him of course but I have realised too late I just don’t love the noise and mess and chaos.

I did / do really want to experience parenting but two of them just exhaust me and I find it hard enjoying them as individual people if you like as I am also managing sibling dynamics!

It really isn't 'dark' there maybe lots of reasons she regrets having children. I think many people do, but mostly won't admit it.

It really isn't 'dark' there maybe lots of reasons she regrets having children. I think many people do, but mostly won't admit it.

Lol I was one of 5 and we've only had one.

I love my siblings and felt equal love and time and energy from our parents, but we lived on the breadline. Never went without per se, but never had much.

Funnily enough, my DH is one of 3 and only wanted one.

3 of us siblings were 1 and done. 2 have had 2 kids.

But honestly we have loved our life. Our gang of 3. The adventures we've had which we wouldn't have bothered with if there was 2.

Our DD is nearly 18 and she is the most well rounded, kind, generous and very funny young woman.

I've never felt this very weird phenomenon of 'i feel guilty for not "giving" them a sibling' like kid number 2 is a gift for kid number 1.

Our life has been peaceful and stress free. And I am very drama avoidant, so
it's worked for us, but it's not for everyone.

I’m an only child with an only child - we thought for a while about having two but I LOVE the time, energy and attention we can give her. I know myself and I like time to myself and being able to relax - I couldn’t do that with a house full of kids! I wonder if I’ll regret it when she’s older and wish I had another but right now it feels perfect for us so it’s really nice to read this comment from a parent of an older child.

It never occurred to me to have more than one. It seemed self-evident to me. I always find it odd so many people have more than one.

Omg im the opposite. Mine are fab together, they'd be lost without each other! It warms the cockles of my heart how much they love each other

For some of us it is. The idea that anyone regrets the existence of their child is pretty dark.

I must admit I hate that. It’s as if people have a child because they want a child and then have another child to give a brother or sister to the first, as if they have no other identify. I’m sure that’s not the reason but sometimes it seems like it!

I sometimes think that too, it will be such a calm life with just one and I’m not constantly listening to them fighting and whinging. But….. my second is my easy going child so if I only had one I would probably have a severe case of precious first born syndrome

Yeah I've never got the thing that a sibling is for the eldest.

Imagine your husband coming to you and saying " I love you so much that I'm going to get another wife. She will take up a lot of my attention at first, I will have less money to spend on you and you will be expected to be nice to her"

Doesn't sound such a great deal put like that

Not at all, I am forever grateful that ds2 came along (we weren't supposed to be able to have any, so twice incredibly lucky!). Neither of them slept while they were babies, but once they finally got the hang of that they were both very easy to be around, largely because they entertained each other all day long when they weren't working (home ed).

They are grown up now and still each other's best friends, lovely and affectionate to each other.

100% agree, maybe it's the summer holidays effect but I should have stopped at one but only if it could have been my youngest!

It will benefit the children for the rest of their lives to have siblings.

We have one. We were expecting a second but it didn’t work out. I spend every day with the gnawing guilt that I’ve somehow let her down by not giving her a sibling. It doesn’t help when she sometimes invents an imaginary sister when she’s playing or asks me she doesn’t have a sister / brother like [xx]. And yes, I know I’ve nothing to feel guilty about and she’ll be fine but still.

I think both can be true. I have one and I need that calmness in our lives and would definitely be a better mum to 1. But it also upsets me that he doesn't have a sibling. But then I look at him and think you literally could not be happier so that helps.

I had one for 7 years she kept on asking for a sibling I started feeling guilty now I have 2. Bigger age difference. Obviously I wouldn’t change it and I love my Ds but lord DD was an easy child but ds is wild!!!

Same. Our DD is perfect. She's a happy, fulfilled little girl and we love our family bubble of 3.

We got exactly what we wanted, why add another?

Not even slightly close!

Why isn't it?? Asking as an eldest child