To think if I’d had my time over, I’d have stuck at one child

[knighttime]

I know a lot of people think it’s easier because they play together but honestly life with just one child seems so much nicer, calmer, so much lovely one to one time devoted to one, their interests tailored for and you get to properly enjoy parenting.

I seem to be really unique on this as everywhere I see having two is easier and I don’t see it myself?

One of mine was away for a week with cubs last week so I got to experience one child life briefly.

It was calmer for sure. And really nice to have some quality time with the other one.

But it was also really intense and I think my child found it so as well. Usually my two entertain themselves a lot and it was unexpectedly hard having just the one.

Same, wouldn't have got married either. I love them all, of course, but given the chance to go back in time, I would stay on my own

I found just one child a bit boring and intense - have four now and it's so much more fun! They all say they're pleased not to be only children but different things work for different people.

I have one OP and i have to say it was the best decision of my life!

I saw how hard my mum found having two (we used to fight like cat and dog) and my friends with two were always complaining about how hard it was. Life with only one was lovely (he's a young adult now). DS is so glad to have been an only and i wish I had been too!

I have one child (for reasons I won't go into) and whilst I appreciate the enormity of parenting more than one, I truly believe that there are disadvantages to being an only child.

Probably. But it's seen as very wrong to admit it. Particularly since it's only quite recently it's become the norm-a couple of generations ago, it was seen as normal to have 2 or 3.

I currently have one 4 year old and I’m really debating if I should have another. I already feel at capacity!

Taking my oldest out alone feels like no children, even though objectively they’re still super young it’s so easy and almost stress free. However overall it’s more enjoyable for me to have 2, even though 1 is easier.

But true for some.
Can't pretend otherwise.

My DH was an only and his parents seem to have a lot smaller/insular/lonelier lives in old age than people I know with lots of kids!

I think they've done surveys on this and parents with less kids are happier in their 30s but more miserable in old age!

I hear you, you're right it totally changes the dynamics going from 1 to 2. And I agree with all the things you say (especially tonight when my 2nd born is wild) but there are also lots of amazing things about having 2

It really depends on the child I thinks I have 2 boys and a girl and when I have either of the boys alone they are a dream and I think it would be so much easier if I only had one child. When my daughter is with me when they are at school she is about x3 the work of one child as she wants so much attention from me and won’t even think of entertaining herself for a second! I love having all of them though. It would be a quieter life with one but if I had the chance to go back and only have one I’d still choose having all of them.

Same @gamerchick .

i love my DS and would not be without him and I do not wish for him not to be here.

but if I’d have known what being a parent was actually like I am sure I would have chosen not to do it.

my heart does break for DS on some types of holiday when it’s just the 3 of us too

Do you actually have two children?

The grass is always greener and all that! The joy of imagining a different path is that you arent burdened by reality; so of course your mind imagines it to be sunshine & rainbows! It depends on the family as to whats easier I think; logically (and financially) 2 is obviously harder, but if you dont like playing with them/being proactive in facilitating play dates and opporrunities than 2 is easier in other ways. Personally i hate my sibling & they ruined my childhood so i cant imagine the company aspect - but thats due to my trauma and not the experience of the majority.

Having siblings doesn't mean you get on with them though and certainly wouldn't mean they spent any time together. My girls are 3 years apart in age. Never got one. Never played nicely together. Had to send them to seperate summer camps else they'd be thrown out for constantly fighting.

I had two and wish I had at least three.

Maybe six 🤣

Always wanted 6. Stopped at 5 when 6 ended in a miscarriage and I took that as a sign to stop.

Have three adult children now,a 12 and 9 year old and two grandkids and I’ve just turned 42.

Amongst the chaos of life when I can’t keep ontop of the washing, I’ve emails to reply back to and work is draining me I just look around at what I e created. Dh was an only child and hated it and said he had a boring childhood whereas I come from a very close knit family and there’s lots of nieces and nephews, it’s always busy and chaotic.

my children will always have each other and will share the loads when me and there dads old. Only children have this weirdness about them and almost a bit stiff personality.

Thanks all. I realise it’s too late but nothing wrong with contemplating!

I do know a lot of people have the view that it’s actually easier and I think I believed this before I had no2. What I didn’t realise or maybe more accurately didn’t think through is it’s not just another person. It’s another relationship and managing the dynamics of that relationship.

It’s harder but I think people generally get a lot from having siblings. My three play together constantly and learn from each other. The jokes and laughter can get tedious when it’s bedtime but I wouldn’t have it any other way really. Personally I’d find it sad to have one solo teenager for example.

Im very close to my siblings as adults and we holiday together regularly with our kids. I can’t imagine life without that.

I’m a mum of one and I’m on the lounger while he’s off playing with other kids. I taught him from a young age to be confident in approaching other kids and asking if they want to play and now I barely see him for dust!

I was the oldest of three and I would have killed to have the attention and close relationship with my mum that my son has with me. I don’t see much of my mum or my siblings as an adult.

No. Because if you had one then you'd find it difficult. You only know it's easy with one because you have more. I have 3 and when I have 1 it feels so easy. But I also think that they appreciate the 1 to 1 time and consequently are considerably better behaved because it's precious. Grass is always greener...

It can also be tricky managing siblings + friends. Ds1 made a friend at the park today and they were having a great time but ds2 was trailing behind and wanting to join in. They didn’t really want him, but clearly felt obliged to include him a bit. If I’d just had ds1 I’d have had peace for hours!

It does depend on how confident your child is though. But then there’s a lot of ‘it depends’ with siblings too.

There is that @Sparklybanana but I don’t know, I do think you get to a certain age / stage with one where it is easy, assuming no SEN etc.

I have 4. I grew up wanting 6 😂
If I could have my time again, I wouldn't have any.
I love my children immensely and I would lay my life down for them but its so bloody hard