To think if I’d had my time over, I’d have stuck at one child

[knighttime]

I know a lot of people think it’s easier because they play together but honestly life with just one child seems so much nicer, calmer, so much lovely one to one time devoted to one, their interests tailored for and you get to properly enjoy parenting.

I seem to be really unique on this as everywhere I see having two is easier and I don’t see it myself?

What about now?

I reckon it's easier for everyone to have one when they're little. Easier for the parents and much nicer for the child to have their needs met and always be the priority. It's when they're older there's huge benefit in siblings. I love that my teens have each other. I love having my own siblings. We're not close on a daily basis, but no one else on the planet shares my experiences like they do.

I know it wasn’t to me, but what do you mean ‘what about now’? Genuinely asking!

They are in their 30s. Live hundreds of miles apart. See each other at family funerals etc and can now be civil. No contact otherwise

Oh god sorry I understand now 😂

I have 2 OP and I agree. 2 boys like you as well. Mine are little - pre school and primary age.

Eldest would have made an excellent only child. He’s naturally intense, demanding, high energy and in need of lots of adult attention. Possibly neurodiverse, but maybe just a more ‘difficult’ temperament, who knows! Youngest is a lot more chilled out but still hard work like all pre schoolers are.

The day I have just one of them I find it so easy I am almost bored. I rather that to the chaos of both though!

Only children have this weirdness about them and almost a bit stiff personality.

That's ridiculous. Some of the most charismatic people I know are only children, adults now of course. The only weird and stiff people I know are autistic and a mix of only children and siblings.

Tbh OP when I see a mum with two young kids and they both run in different directions while she shouts no looking panicked and doesn't know which one to chase first I think it looks awful, no thanks! My sister has 3, I leave her house feeling completely overstimulated and stressed out. I don't know what possessed her.

I think both mine play independently rather well and generally only stopped when annoyed by their sibling. Feel like I’m telling them both off all the time.

Can’t say I have ever experienced or seen this!

Strange, I see it every time I take my daughter to a place for young kids.

Seriously… every time you go you see a mother standing there stricken as her two children run off in opposite directions? 🤭

It’s fairly common and I think most parents to more than one child can relate, at least if the age gap is between 1-4 years. Maybe if you have a big age gap (one of my friends has 11 years between her Dds.)

I basically have two only children. I had a 2 year gap, so i could have 2 at similar stages, but they have never really interacted. Dc1 is in their own world and, as much as dc2 tried, was never interested. They don't even fight. Just exist separately.

I've never seen them actually talk to teach other or go on each other's room to bitch about us. If I'm honest, I find it very weird. They should be ganging up on us by now.

Smirk all you want. Every time I go out I see mums overwhelmed and outnumbered by small children and thank god that's not me. Even OP acknowledges it's a common sight. Sorry it clearly bothers you so much!

It’s a little silly really!

I have also seen this lots of times.

In fact, my mum tells me stories of me and my brother doing the same on a crowded beach when we were young.

Nah. Mine played beautifully for years was much easier than having one as they hung out together. Now as young adults they still come on holiday with us as there is an in built friend. Two way easier then one.

Dh brother has one extremely high maintenance child who needed one adults full attention at all times until he was about 9. Extremely wearing.

Not on mumsnet. It’s so depressing to read. My kids can send me crazy, the idea I would delete them from my life if I had the chance is horrible.

I don’t find that, i have 1 and she’s very sociable, makes lots of friends on holidays but is equally happy playing with us or by herself.
She’s 10 and has never wished for a sibling, when she sees her friends arguing with their siblings she’s glad to come home to peace.

I have one (and I’m very much done). Just met with my childfree friend who is glad she didn’t have kids, and I said how glad I was to stick at one, as life has balance and is way more manageable. I might have been able to manage two but I doubt I would have known that unless I actually had a second. Which is part of the issue.

It isn’t quite like that. You don’t exactly look at them and wish they didn’t exist. Just that if you could somehow not have met them but know what you now know: then your choices might be different.

Did your nephew get easier after 9 (she’s asks hopefully? 😅) my eldest is the one who makes having 2 DC hard as his appetite and need for adult engagement is bottomless. Clearly we say no often and make him wait and I hope having a sibling will teach him understanding of others and the fact he can’t always be the centre of our attention eventually…but it’s still extremely hard work currently!

This is really tricky as obv I love my DC2 to bits and tbh she is my easier child. So now that she’s here, of course I wouldn’t choose not having her in addition to DS. But, my honest opinion is that having just one would have suited me better. I’m an introvert and love calm time at home and being alone as well. I struggle to deal with the bickering too. But, then seeing them having fun together and being nice to each other is so lovely. So I’m pretty torn on this one.

Just for balance I have 3, very, very close in age. They played together as kids. They’re all at university now and get along great. They call each other independently, and often. They hug each other when brought together again. 🥰