To think if I’d had my time over, I’d have stuck at one child

[knighttime]

I know a lot of people think it’s easier because they play together but honestly life with just one child seems so much nicer, calmer, so much lovely one to one time devoted to one, their interests tailored for and you get to properly enjoy parenting.

I seem to be really unique on this as everywhere I see having two is easier and I don’t see it myself?

Well too late now! So have an early night and wake up tomorrow feeling like you can take on the day with both of them happily!

I do have a lot of sympathy for your view, OP. When I was very unhappily married with 3 small children, I sometimes used to think about how much easier and sooner I could have got away from my ex if I had only the one child. But of course I love all my children and I'm so glad they're here.

Lol. I was an only child when I was growing up. I hated it. I've had four. And yes its insane and I do look at one child families and think how easy they have it. But honestly, I love the chaos and look forward to my older years with a big full house nice and busy with lots of love. Yes its difficult in the younger years, but I think the rewards for them having siblings either id they get on or not at least they had the choice etc

Lots of people have an only child, and many more probably wished that they had stuck to one child as well. It is, what it is.

I have three and the advice I always give first time parents is 'stick to one!'

I laugh when I say it but I'm only half joking.

I have four and I find it easier than having one. It’s way more fun and busy and noisy and wonderful. Curating their lives to their interests is chaotic and challenging and keeps me on my toes.

I guess it depends on your prospective.

Too late girl 😄 - which one is annoying you the most?

I have one - its just me and her - and i am one and done

Its swings and roundabouts isnt it - i was looking at her today and she seems lonely without a sibling 😔

As a parent of an only I agree. When I see what my friends who have 2 or more have to deal with every day I am grateful i don’t have to.

I’m the opposite

It is on holiday when I really see. My two playing, larking around, laughing, pushing each other in etc and the only child always playing with a parent who no doubt would prefer to be kicking back with a book on the lounger, or at the dining tables etc. it just looks a bit dull for them!

I think it depends on the kids, whether they get on, and if they have high needs.

My two (currently) are really sweet with each other, share nicely, and comfort each other when hurt/sad. My sibling and I bickered and fought and argued and it was a nightmare, and my sibling had specific needs that took over family life. By contrast, my dh gets on really well with his siblings and they help each other if one is moving house etc. I'm hoping my two grow up to get on as adults, like dh's siblings do.

You also get some kids that are objectively just very hard work, through no one's fault. Having another just adds to the work. My dc1 basically never slept properly till she was 5yo and it was so so hard juggling that with a second dc.

I find two easier than one as I can’t be hyperfixated on either of them - good for me, but even better for them. One is away this week and it is easier, calmer and quieter. But it’s kind of boring too. I am an only child and the house was v quiet and adult focused the whole time when I was growing up. I didn’t hate it at the time, but now I see my children together I realise what I missed out on. My childhood was like being a third player on the stage rather than an equal part of the household - having two means theres an equal balance

Two is never going to be easier than one. It’s double the work. But you just get used to it. There are also the lovely moments when you catch them watching TV together, playing together and now in their teens in deep gossipy conversations together - usually about the latest party antics etc.. which make twice the work absolutely worth while.

I think if the kids get along it’s a dream to parent two albeit exhausting and financially draining! If they don’t, then yes, I can see why people wish they stopped at one.

True - during holidays there are moments like that. However holidays are a relatively small fraction of the year. Also there are solution that we’ve taken advantage of - kids club, nanny, etc. when he was much younger the best part was when we were away, if I needed a break my husband could take over and I could rest (and vice versa) instead of each of us wrangling a kid each with no break, which I’ve seen a lot of when away as well.

Oh! Same!

I'm an only (so are both my parents) and wanted a big family. I've got 4 DCs and have loved the journey 😊 The ups the downs and the sheer joy now .

I was the child in the big family group and I've had one, as have two of my siblings, and one has had none...that must say something! Not saying either is better, by the way! None of us were unhappy but it's a big sacrifice living with lots of siblings.

OP I left an abusive relationship with one DC, now turning 18 and I count my blessings every day that I stuck at one. It was bloody hard work but I gave him a great childhood. I can't say that would have been the case if I had more.

I agree!

id hate for my child to be an only - I get constant requests from parents of only children if their kid can come over to mine to play

yes they argue and disagree and get on each others nerves - but that’s just kids. they get on my nerves at times too!

Whilst they complain about each other A LOT they are fiercely loyal to each other and have each others backs

Really? I could finally relax when I had more as all my focus wasn't just on one and he relaxed too. I love my big family. Having only one would've given me anxiety.

What is the relationship like between the two of them?

i have 2 and i think it’s easier than 1 but mine are young and play together, maybe i’ll feel differently in different stages.

No! Our two are brilliant together, some only child friends are not used to negotiation and the world revolves around them, I’m not a fan!

Home too though… I just used to turf my two out in to the garden and they’d be out there for hours up to no good!

whereas what does an only do? Water gun fights, board games…

even now mine are teens… they chat about music, SM, joint friends. I love it

I wouldn't have had any kids if I could go back. Which is a bit taboo.

Grass is always greener I reckon. You could be one and done but then feel sad in moments where you think more company might be nice for them.

and I could rest (and vice versa) instead of each of us wrangling a kid each with no break,

when they’re young but once they can swim… oh the joy of kicking back with my book while they entertain each other for hours on end!

Woah that’s dark

It always depends on the children. I don’t think I had a single bad night with my second child and he’s much more easy going.