Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

This! Your husband is a selfish uncaring un

I asterisked the 'un' but it hasn't printed it. the word is 'cunt'

Hi op does he expect you to walk out of hospital with your personal belongings and the hospital staff just say bye then. They have a policy of seeing you picked up. I would tell 12 year old it’s not going to happen this year with you being sick I’m sure he will be more understanding than your stupid dh. If he still goes away and leaves you to recover alone then when your better I would be reviewing my marriage if I was you. Does he want to go more so he doesn’t have to look after you. Honestly I would be so pissed off if he goes especially as older dc is happy to move it. If it’s took 3 years to save you might never get to go.

Yes, absolutely. It’s so awful you think it can’t possibly be real.

Tell him it is being rebooked for next year. No ifs, no buts. Tell your youngest now. Tell your unpleasant H that he needs to look after you.

@HealthConcerns24 you are totally right that you HAVE TO tell the doctors/hospital that you’ll be alone going back home.
Its a safety issue for you.

Im 😳😳 at the fact he thinks it’s ok to
1- go away leaving you on your own
2- that anyone bar very close family members would be happy to care for you for 3 (!!) weeks

I was originally thinking that maybe he was just putting his head in the sand but he is actually awful. Utterly awful human being.
I also think that, by behaving that way (Regardless or not he ends up going or not), he has just broken your trust. No way you’ll ever think he has your back. This will change your marriage and how you see him A LOT

@HealthConcerns24 I'm sorry you're in this situation. He sounded like a dick in your op but with each subsequent post he got worse! If your eldest is understanding as you say could they try and talk him round?

If booked 3 years ago surely its a package through travel agents. Your insurance should cover moving it

Christ my heart hurts for you OP. This is awful behaviour from him. I’m glad your eldest gets it, he sounds lovely.

Taxes themselves are over £1000 for 4 people.

You should be resting, not thinking about this.

If you have travel insurance its probably Ok to cancel and rebook.

if you don’t & it will take you 3yrs to save again then I think him taking the kids would be fine, you wouldn’t want them to miss out surely.

We have booked a holiday to Spain and I am on a waiting list for undiagnosed symptoms so I know I won't be covered by travel insurance if anything happens before we go that relates to this. I have told my partner that if this does happen, he is to go with the kids and leave me behind. I'd hate the thought of them missing out because of me, and also the thought of losing all that money. However, there is no way my partner would suggest doing this and I know that it would take a lot of me convincing him that I will be fine and they should go and enjoy the holiday without me.

I don't think its unreasonable for them to go if you are okay with it, but I do think its massively unreasonable (and really mean) to go if you are going to be upset about it. I haven't read the thread, but if you can claim on your insurance, then he should absolutely be claiming that money back and then rebooking for when you are well enough to go.

@Sozzler the OP can’t be happy with it. She isn’t to stay at home in her own!

It’s very different than waiting for a diagnostic. Or starting a treatment.
I mean I’m sure you wouldn’t tell your DP to go away on holiday just after an open heart surgery right? The OP’s situation isn’t much different.

RTFT
The OP cannot be left alone at home. Her DH is planning to LIE to the hospital saying hed be there whilst going away.
So not only he’d be leaving the OP in a really tricky situation. But hed be closing any hope of having carers to help whilst he is away.

No way i'd go and leave my dad, can't believe either of your kids are willing to go without you!
Are you on the booking in a position to be the one able to change it? If so i'd go ahead and rearrange for next year, force your husbands hand to stay home, bastard.

Like I said, I haven't read the thread, so am just responding to the initial post. I'm on the waiting list for something that could potentially be quite serious, so there is always the possibility that things could escalate before we go. The initial post didn't say anything about open heart surgery, but in our particular situation, if I had had a cardiac event that was no longer life threatening (which is the impression I got from the initial post), I'd still encourage my family to go on the holiday- I'm not sure they would want to, but I would still want them to go.

If she's been told she mustn't be at home on her own and she doesn't have anyone else to stay with her, then that is a completely different situation, and of course her husband is being a massively selfish a*hole to even suggest going!

If you were going to lose all the money from the trip I’d see his argument. But as it can be moved, for very minimal cost, your DH is the biggest AH around. What an uncaring, selfish prick.
It would be the end of the marriage if he went ahead. I’m so sorry OP.
wishing you a speedy recovery.

@HealthConcerns24 your husband is absolute scum.

Oh lovely @HealthConcerns24 of coirse they shouldn’t go. One it’s your family holiday and 2 if you’re still in hospital it’s fairly major and you should be cared for at home! By family!

Fix me, I hadn’t read your last post about him telling you to tell the hospital he would be there to look after you and going anyway!

He doesn’t want to stay married does he

What a selfish prick, him not you OP. I would have no problem with my DH and DCs going but it would 100% be me insisting on it to not loose money, my DH would never dream of going without me.

Im sorry your going through this, he sounds like an inherently selfish man who dosnt care about you at all.

I would be seriously considering leaving him after this.

Exactly this!

Id move it if I could with insurance or a small xfer fee

If wed lose the money id rather they went than we all missed out

For all the queries re booking etc. we’ve been saving for 3 years for the holiday, booked hotels a year ago and paid the bulk off then the last this year with our inheritance.

i called him out on the flights as I didn’t think you could book them that far out but just accepted it as given as he always books the holidays and just go where we he book.

Hes admitted he didn’t book that long ago but used that as an excuse as to why they were so cheap. Hes used all our air miles from our credit card from the last 3 years which is why he said he booked them 3 years ago, but that explains why it’s so cheap and I’ve seen the emails confirming this, booked a year before we were due to fly. I told him not to lie to me ever again about anything financial.

my head is spinning about it all to be honest and you’ve given me food for thought re state of my marriage and his selfishness

It's so sad you are unwell and I hope you feel better soon. But if you're going to be ok, and you don't have travel insurance that means your 3 years of saving isn't protected, doesn't it make sense that they go? Initially I thought "if it was me I'd want the kids and DH to still have the experience"... but my husband was sick and I knew he'd be fine I would still want to give the kids this dream experience. And he wouldn't want me to... he'd want me to stay at home and nurse him. I would feel like he was being selfish...

Is the travel insurance in your name? You can claim if it is… what a selfish bastard. It would be bad enough if it was a week in skegness but leaving you to go that far away AND on the holiday of a lifetime. I’d be cancelling it rather than moving it. Cos if you move it you’re effectively booking with a known health issue and will not be covered. Cancel it and then rebook when insurance allows it. And don’t take him! Selfish twat