@HealthConcerns24 You’re absolutely not being unreasonable. You’ve just had a medical event, you’re still in hospital, and you’ve been told you cannot travel. That’s not a minor inconvenience, that’s a medical crisis with an unpredictable recovery.
A “dream holiday” that took years to save for is supposed to be something you all experience together. The idea that your husband and children should simply go without you, leaving you at home recovering alone, isn’t just insensitive, it’s a complete misunderstanding of what partnership looks like during a health emergency.
Most families in this situation would claim on the insurance, cancel or postpone, and rebook when everyone can go. That’s not selfish. That’s normal.
Your husband’s suggestion isn’t about practicality, it’s about priorities. And right now, his priorities seem to be the holiday rather than your wellbeing. You’re in hospital awaiting surgery. You’re frightened. You don’t know how long recovery will take. The idea of being left alone for three weeks while your family goes on a once‑in‑a‑lifetime trip is understandably hurtful and the practical situation is there is no-one to look after you.
Your children may be disappointed, of course, the eldest clearly understands but disappointment is part of life, and it’s temporary. Leaving their mum behind after a cardiac event is something they’d likely remember for all the wrong reasons.
This isn’t you “ruining” anything. This is life happening, and a family responding together.
Rebooking is the fair, compassionate, and sensible option.
I'm struggling with your husbands attitude here. If the roles were reversed, if he had been rushed into hospital with a serious cardiac issue, would he genuinely expect you and the kids to jet off for three weeks without him? I doubt it.
A holiday can be rearranged. Your health and emotional safety can’t.
If he goes, I would seriously rethink your marriage as this is clearly not the first time he has abandoned you in your hour of need. He withdraws when you need care. He avoids discomfort, even when it’s yours and he chooses escape over support. Most people, even imperfect partners, have a line they wouldn’t cross when their spouse is in hospital. He’s crossed it twice.
Unless of course he never purchased the insurance???