Holiday - to rebook or let them go?

[HealthConcerns24]

As a family we have had a “dream holiday” booked for around a year that took 3 years to save for. We are due to go in 3 weeks and it’s for a 3 week holiday. It’s me, my husband and our 2 children in early to late teens.

This past weekend I ended up in hospital with a pretty serious health event, think cardio, and I cannot travel for this holiday, still in hospital and not sure how long I’ll be here for.

Just today my husband said we needed to discus the holiday. I thought he was going to discuss moving it to another time in which I can come but no, he seems to think is acceptable that the 3 of them go and I stay home and recover, alone, and just don’t go at all.

AIBU to think we should just rebook the whole thing until I’m well enough to go or am I selfish to even consider asking them to stay home and rebook?

im off my head on pain meds and can’t even think about this logically right now.

Well, Feb can be some excellent weather. February-March is a great time to go if you pick your dates right. It's been one of our favourite times, none of the late Spring and Summer humidity! Mid to late Sep-end of Oct is Halloween & MNSSHP, that time of the year can be pretty pricy & busy. Harder for tourists that locals because locals can pick and choose when they go as opposed to tourists who have to lock down their dates and can't really change plans.

Yeah I had a ridiculously hot birthday in March one year, but a Feb so cold I needed trousers another, Feb is an odd month isn’t it.

I plan on going in the Feb/March before the school holidays more in the future, just have to time it right with ride closures, I suspect those trips will be more of a last minute booking than a 1-2years in advance.

This exactly…I’ve seen many a northern family holidaying at the back end of August for that exact reason. But you’d think from another poster that it was a ghost town in August 😂

You are completely contradicting yourself now. Earlier you claimed there were no holidays in August, then switched to halfway through August, then you’ve been reminded that northern schools are off even longer.

Put the bottle down. Stop the name calling. Stop the misogyny. Stop the nonsense.

Your personal vendetta against an anonymous poster on here is overkill. It is distracting from the thread itself which is about a woman who is missing the opportunity of her dream trip. Knock it off.

She already posted that they have travel insurance. At least read all the OP's posts.

I'm sure she is quite well aware of costs. 🙄

I didn’t tell you, I asked you.

I can’t quote yours because most of them have been deleted because of the shocking level of insults and nastiness that has been unnecessary. Fortunately for you that means people have missed most of your flip flopping about what colour the sky is though 🤷‍♀️

This is the answer.

Out family goes on vacation to Orlando annually and I wouldn't forgive my husband for going away if I was ill like you......so if it was a once in a lifetime saved for holiday I'd be even less inclined to forgive him. It would be the end for me that he even thinks that's okay.

Just read your posts so it's probably been asked but why do you think you wont get flight costs back? Unless you didnt have insurance at the time you should get something but might be a separate excess if booked at different times.

Of cause the holiday should be rebooked as they should be caring for you after your operation.

It sounds like the idiot husband booked with points and using a credit card too which would typically refund for this type of issue! He’s being such an ass. I suspect he’s lying like he did before telling OP he booked flights years ago when that’s not even possible. If he hadn’t made the lie so shocking that people here could tell poor OP you can’t book flights that far out I wonder what else he’s lying about.

This is the exact stress someone in the hospital for a serious cardiac event, about to have major surgery, just doesn’t need. The holiday shouldn’t even be a damn question and wouldn’t be for most people in relationships. It’s truly despicable. OP you should cancel regardless. That odious toad can go alone if he insists but you and your kids would have a lovely time if you can go together, even if cardiac issues mean you can’t do as many rides.

If it’s AMEX, it had to cancel flights due to breast cancer, all points, money and companion voucher returned within 24 hours! They were great.

This is awful, you are in hospital and all he is worried about is a holiday.
Let them bloody go, advise the hospital you have no care at home because they have all gone away, they will arrange something. Sit back don't argue or agree to him going, see what he decides.
If he decides to go claim your portion of the costs back from the insurance and use it for an online cheap divorce. Let him come home to his bags outside (get a friend to do it)
Obvs Im not you but this would be a marriage ender for me. Showing his true colours here if you stay and become even slightly unwell in the future you know he will leave or shove you in a care home.

Not really. The hospital won't discharge OP unless she has someone at home to look after her. Her DH wants her to lie to the hospital.

It isn't safe for her to be on her own but he is still planning to go. This is about more than OP just missing the holiday.

So sorry op, you could do without this stress on top of being unwell. Yes, of course, the holiday should be rescheduled. I would be very upset with husband to even think about going. 😔

I totally understand both sides of this.

my view is with early and late teens he should go. They will be devastated and also soon won’t have the opportunity as they will have moved on. It’s a precious time for them and to do this with both parents, or one, will be very special for them. You don’t know when you can travel.

if the kids were younger or older I’d be answering differently.

also think if DH. He’s had a very stressful few weeks with you being unwell and has the kids to manage through the holiday as well as worrying about you. Is he trying to work too?

he would also value the break, time with his DC and respect you for supporting them going.
thisbcoukd turn to resentment if you are difficult. Why enable that when there is no need.

@HealthConcerns24 if you’re well enough to be by yourself let them go. If not reschedule.

OP said “The only thing we would lose out on is the flights as they were booked separately and that’s about £1k of the costs”. So she says they are losing out on hard cash costs as it cannot be claimed via the insurance.

You need someone 21 or over in most hotels
in Florida, so this is very unlikely to be a possibility.

She isn't OK to be left on her own. The hospital have said that they won't discharge her unless she has someone to look after her at home. Her husband wants her to lie to the hospital.

Have you looked into getting insurance after what’s happened? You’ll need to use someone like Staysure or another specialist for travelling with health conditions more than likely, and this could be cost prohibitive depending on what is wrong with you - it could be thousands more for insurance. I’d be contacting your own insurance to see if you’d be covered to travel next year first, declaring the health conditions, and if not obtaining a quote from someone who will, before you make a decision.

Personally I think I’d wave them off, if they’ve been counting down for 3 years and it’s finally here.

I’m so sorry. Your h is a thoughtless, selfish idiot.

i think you should postpone the holiday until next year. I can’t believe your h is suggesting going without you!

I hope all your treatment goes well and you recover soon.

My OH has been one of the worst partners anyone could pick (my fault I’m still in the relationship, not moaning, just giving context) and even he wouldn’t do this. We had something last year where we almost couldn’t get someone to have our dog while we were away and when I suggested that I stay home he said he wouldn’t go without me. I was surprised actually. I think it’s awful to go without you, surely you need caring for as well otherwise you could just go and take it easy? If it was £10,000 plus then a few hundred to rearrange isn’t the end of the world. It’s disappointing for everyone but the holiday of a lifetime shouldn’t be taken without the full family surely? I think I would be suggesting a divorce to be honest. He has shown you how much care you will receive should you ever become really ill.

It isnt. OP needs care.

I've read all your posts and your husband sounds like a dreadful man who I would not want to be married to a second longer.

I hope the holiday gets moved as that is so clearly what should happen.

So sorry he treats you this way. I hope you are fixed and out of hospital soon.

I know my dh would say stuff the holiday. Your health is so important, without it, you have nothing. If you cancel only you would get the money back, as the insurance will only pay out to the one who is unable to travel. Insurance companies are ruthless and will not pay out for the rest of your family , as they are not the ones with the issue.
Twice l became very ill with leukemia. My husband was brilliant, his love for me was there, every second of everyday. There would be no way he would consider going anywhere without me. Your children are old enough to understand why. I hope you get well soon, take care