DP wants to end relationship over old videos on my phone

[July26]

NC’d for understandable reasons.

DP went through my phone last night, and found very old videos I hadn’t deleted of me and my ex. Extremely stupid I know, both to have taken them in the first place (not something I was keen on, and my face isn’t visible), and to have not deleted them. But honestly, I forgot they were on there. I’ve got stuff on my phone going back nearly 10 years, it all carries over when I’ve upgraded my phone and I’ve never looked back at it/got round to deleting things.

He went mental, said we are over and he doesn’t want to listen to my ‘excuses’, he considers it a betrayal and questions whether I’ve still looked at them regularly when alone.

I am distraught, I love him and can’t imagine my life without him in it. We don’t live together but he was staying here this weekend and stormed out last night. He has ignored me today but I don’t seem to be blocked.

Do you think ending the relationship is over the top? Would you give it a day or two before contacting him again?

Time to buy a massive strap on and give him what he wants.

I had sympathy for your dp before you explained what has upset him. I (like many other posters) assumed he felt let down by you keeping videos with initimate scenes with your ex. But now he is saying he reacted so strongly because it has been hard for him to go without doing things he likes & you were doing them in the videos - all / nearly all my sympathy has gone. He is just manipulating you OP! There was no need for a huge over-reaction, it is just a tantrum to get what he wants! He could have had a grown-up conversation with you along the lines of - I saw the videos, that made me sad that you still kept them, I also saw you doing X in them, that I like but you don’t want to do anymore, and ask you why, what has changed for you, a grown-up conversation about your sex life etc. Not storming out & emotional threats & then manipulating you to get you to do X!