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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another weekend and another drunken DP ‘performance’

420 replies

Heatwavefry · Yesterday 08:13

I’ve had very broken sleep so I apologise in advance for any grammatical errors!!

There has been a trend over about a year now of DP going out once a month with friends and getting hammered, his behaviour when returning home has increasingly worsened though. We don’t live together but when he goes out he usually comes back to mine to stay for the weekend as I live centrally close to where the pubs are.

Last night, he returns about 1am and wakes me up asking if I can ‘see to him’. I say no and go back to sleep, he says he will sort himself out.

I hear loads of crashing about so am woken at least twice, and he says he’s sleeping on the sofa. After yet more noise, I go into the living room and he’s naked, there’s a massive wet patch on my sofa, which he said is because he ‘sorted himself out’ - he was still pissed at this point.

I go ballistic and tell him I want him gone first thing. He’s still on the sofa now. I am not overreacting here am I?! It’s my flat which I worked hard to afford and he treats it like this.

OP posts:
lulujuju · Yesterday 08:15

No of course you’re not overreacting! I would throw him out permanently!

pointythings · Yesterday 08:15

If you want to stay together (and I can't see why you would), he is now banned from coming to yours after his piss ups. Lock him out. He can be disgusting in his own place.

Globules · Yesterday 08:17

Of course you're not overreacting. That is awful behaviour.

Are you sure it's ejaculate, or is it urine?

How long have you been together? Where do you see this relationship going? If you want to move in together at some point, then I'd rethink it. If he's a lovely man who's a twat when he's pissed, then just don't let him in when he's pissed.

MsIceSandwich · Yesterday 08:17

Wake him up and tell him to leave, make sure he leaves the key, dump him by text later.

BMW58 · Yesterday 08:17

Ewwwww

Evaka · Yesterday 08:18

Wake him up and calmly tell him it's over and to leave. How dare he use your hard earned home as a doss house and then jizz on your sofa. What a lowlife.

ExplodingSmittens · Yesterday 08:18

I think you’re under reacting personally. All of this he has a choice in. He chose to get so drunk, he chose to stay at yours, he chose to do that to your sofa and not clean it up. I thought you were going to say that you’d kicked him out last night.

Soulhorse · Yesterday 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

CharlotteStreetW1 · Yesterday 08:20

Soulhorse · Yesterday 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

Re-read the OP 😬

MsIceSandwich · Yesterday 08:20

Soulhorse · Yesterday 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

It's not pee, he's got cum on her sofa.

Bristolandlazy · Yesterday 08:20

This post can't be real, seriously? Why would you even ask that, of course it's not acceptable. If it's true it's easily avoided. Dump him or at very least don't allow him to stay with you after drinking.

UpDownAllAround1 · Yesterday 08:20

Take the key off him

Thirteenblackcats · Yesterday 08:21

Urghh he’s disgusting. Please never let this disrespectful man move in with you

how dare he! Put a stop to him using your place as a drunken layover as well.

he doesn’t respect you. It will get worse if you allow it

TheWonderhorse · Yesterday 08:22

OP I hope you have more self-respect than to ever put up with that again.

He woke you to "see to him?" Jesus wept, what a guy.

Enrichetta · Yesterday 08:22

he treats you as a free accommodation provider, with the occasional ‘servicing’ thrown in.

He has no respect for you.

What else do you need to know…

cloudtreecarpet · Yesterday 08:22

How old is he?
And are you planning to live together?

Having lived with and married (& split from) a man who behaved like this when we were in our 20s but didn't grow out of it for many years, I would say consider whether you want to stay with him long term.

Cnidarian · Yesterday 08:23

Why is there a male loneliness epidemic- Exhibit A

WhatAMarvelousTune · Yesterday 08:23

I am not overreacting here am I?!

In my opinion, you’re underreacting. I’d be ending the relationship. I couldn’t be with someone who had so little respect for me and my home.

StopGo · Yesterday 08:23

Kick him out, end it, bill him for steam/specialist cleaning and the price of a new lock. Actually a replacement sofa wouldn’t be unreasonable.

Peanutlicious · Yesterday 08:24

You're worth way more than that

NotAnotherScarf · Yesterday 08:24

That is fucking grim. Do yourself a favour and get shot. I am a bloke who loves a drink and many times over the years I've had too many. But I've never spunked on someone else's sofa...

Heatwavefry · Yesterday 08:25

cloudtreecarpet · Yesterday 08:22

How old is he?
And are you planning to live together?

Having lived with and married (& split from) a man who behaved like this when we were in our 20s but didn't grow out of it for many years, I would say consider whether you want to stay with him long term.

31, we had discussed living with each other in the future.

OP posts:
AgnesX · Yesterday 08:26

Why is he even going on the piss and then back to yours instead of his own place anyway?

Pissing on the sofa? Just yuk. Send him home permanently.

Edited to add: just twigged the "sorted himself out". Even more yuk and double the Ditch him.

thedogisfine · Yesterday 08:27

That’s fucking disgusting.

Soulhorse · Yesterday 08:28

Soulhorse · Yesterday 08:18

So he gets so drunk he pisses himself? Dump.

Apologies, jumped to conclusion, still eww though.

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