I am refusing to take away my children's holiday money because my sistsrs kids are jealous. AIBU?

[dramaticlifestyle]

We are on a family holiday right now. Me, my husband, my daughter (8 years old), my son (4 years old). My parents. My sister, her husband, and their 5 children.

My mum, bless her, really wanted to give everybody a bit of money to spend on holiday. She was able to spare £200 pounds which is absolutely lovely of her. My mum decided to split the money in half, she gave me £100 and my sister £100. I told my mum that I don't need the money because me and my husband already have enough holiday spending money. But ahe insisted, so I decided to give the money to my kids. £50 for my daughter, £50 for my son. That's their money to spend how they want.

My sister did the same thing as me and she gave all the money to her children, but because she has 5 children they get £20 each. We've been here for a few days and the kids have started asking each other about money, my daughter was asked how much money she has, she said she has £45 (She already spent £5). That has caused my sisters kids to start complaining to their mum and dad about the fact they only got £20 whilst my son and my daughter got £50.

My sister has since spoken to me and asked if I can take some of my children's money away because my sister can't afford to give each of her kids £30 because my sister and her husband already have a set budget for this holiday. I said that I'm sorry her kids feel jealous, however I am not going to take away my kids money because that isn't fair to my kids. I split the money fairly, my children shouldn't have to have their money taken away just because their cousins are jealous. I said I will make sure my kids aren't intentionally trying to make their cousins upset, but I will not take away some of their money. My mum also does not have more money to spare because she also has a holiday budget.

Right now we are sitting by the pool and my sister has decided to sit far away from the rest of us. Clearly trying to indicate she is upset.

AIBU?

Mum should have kept her money to treat herself, I hope she does next time instead of being generous to her grasping, entitled, 5 kid having daughter

Do you give them £50 each though?!

I think giving small children £50 is nuts. It's far too much money. I don't know what you should do now but giving £50 to a 4 year old is silly.

Shame you didn’t pool the money and take all the kids to an attraction/ice cream parlour for lunch whatever, explaining the day out was a special treat from Grandma. Take nice pics, face time her with the kids all shouting thank you.

Agree 50.00 for a four year old is nuts. Take 30 off your kids to save for later and keep the peace. It really isn’t worth falling out over!

OP you created this by giving £50 to each child without discussing it at all. You presumably know that your sister would not be able top up s their cousins would not have the same. They would possibly have an equal share or none if their parents decided to use it in a different way.

You should have discussed what you
were doing when you were on holiday together.

Your mother gave you equal shares so you two needed a strategy but you didn’t even allow an opportunity for that or various options that would make things equal during the holiday-
so either pool and equal split
or you holding back part of the money for your kids to spend another time.
or neither of you giving the money to the children and either together or as each family doing something.
The cousins would have less spent on each of them if each family spent it on the family unit, but it isn’t the same as direct comparison with their cousin at the gift store.

Your mother gave the family money, how you choose to spend it is up to you. I do wonder why you would give an 8yr old and a 4yr old £50 each. Even if it’s available, I’d have let them have £10 or £20 tops and then put the rest in their bank account. That’s just me though.

Why? A towel, a t.shirt, a water bottle with a dolphin on it, a small bar of soap for each grandparent, and a watermelon a day (my dd) took her £40 (£20 from granny 1 and £20 from granny 2) she had at that age! Many years on the towel has been used throughout this summer. The t.shirt was upcycled and the picture of dolphins leaping through waves adorns the back of her denim jacket, and she still uses the water bottle!

Why is your 4 year old allowed to spend £50 on ice cream?! Or your 8 year old for that matter? Wtf am I reading! You're supposed to be their parent. Parent them! You can't just give little kids fuckloads of money to spend on whatever they want. Jesus wept.

OP I do think you are a bit mad giving 2 young children £50 each for ice creams. Or at least TELLING them they had £50 each.

I wonder what would your sister have done if you had found the cash really useful, and kept it towards your holiday expenses - to find she had given hers to her children (so yours ‘without’ and hers ‘with’).

As the situation stands.. your mum gave her 2 children an equal amount of money each. What you have decided to do with that money is your own business. Sister is being unreasonable. I hope she has stopped sulking now.

@Deepblueokay
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and the whole point of a forum is to talk 🗣️ so people are perfectly entitled to express their views

Here

They're on holiday. Big bloody deal.

Nothing wrong with what youve done. Cant believe your sister is acting like this. Absolutely ridiculous. Tough titties.

What you choose to do with YOUR kids and money that was given to YOU, is your choice.
Thats life.
It cant all be even all the time.
Kids(and some adults 😅) need to learn this.

Cant believe the number of people here telling you to take money back from your children because your sister is throwing a fit 😂

£50 for a week's holiday is hardly fuckloads - this isn't 1980, it really doesn't go far these days! People are absolutely miserable on here!

What a silly way for your mother to share money out.

Your mum should've given the kids equal money

Costs a lot to go on holiday in the first place....without throwing money away on top. £50 is a lot for a 4 yr old. It is a big deal. Personally I would've shared the money out equally among the grandkids to save the arguments

£50 is 2 months pocket money for my 17 year old. He works for anything else.
I wouldn't give a teenager £50 let alone a preschooler. Children need to understand the value of money.
I also wouldn't let a 4 year old eat multiple ice creams a day, mind.

Way to miss the point! You don't give children that much responsibility over what they spend and what they eat. That's your job, as a parent, because your brain is developed and theirs is absolutely not.

And yes, £50 is fuckloads! How incredibly lucky you are that it means so little to you.

They are on holiday! They're not everyday decisions or everyday spending and the money was a gift for the family to enjoy.

Does no-one let their hair down on holiday?

People are being crazy OP. My 2 and 6yr old both are getting £50 for their 10 day holiday next month. They will use it for gift shops, magnet to bring back, ice creams etc. It really doesn’t go far and I suspect people being rude have lost sense of how much things like that can cost.

I chose to have 2 children as that’s what we can afford. I’d never make my kids go with less because a sibling chose to have more because we stopped at 2 so we can give them more etc. OPs nieces and nephews probably always get less as there’s double the kids!

Tell me you don’t have children, without telling me you don’t have children.

This is weird. Also if £50 is so much why are posters expecting Granny should have given all the grandkids equal.

Id people choose to have big families they can’t then gripe when families that chose to have less children are able to afford more, give them more etc

Agree what a weird post. She wanted to give her kids £50 so did. Where is there anything about them being ungrateful?! Her sister just can’t accept saving more kids means you give them less. In time, money, resources, all of it.

I would never given a 4 yr old and 8 yr old £50 holiday spending money! For that alone YABU. You should have used the money for what it was intended for - you to use to buy them ice creams, a beach ball etc