To expect 15 year old DD to share a room with the family on holiday?

[NotTonightDeidre]

It's actually is DH being unreasonable. He thinks DD (15) should be happy to share a room with us all (me, him, DD2).

She doesn't want to share a room with us (she will share with me & sister, not her dad).

I can see where she's coming from but DH doesn't see her p.o.v.

Parents who want to have enjoyable holidays take the views and preferences of their children (and particularly ones as old as 15) in view.

Reference - all the threads on MN from people moaning about how their grumpy teens are ruining the family holiday.

I can see both sides. We tried to get two bedroom apartments for holidays from DS being 13, but when he was 14 I shared a room with him (DH was snoring really badly and I couldn't share a bed with him). It was no bother. We even shared a bed as the apartments were king beds only, but had separate sheets. We took turns to get dressed/showered.

I can sort of see where your DD is coming from, but she is being unreasonable. It isn't the end of the world to share a room with her family for what, a week? Two? Either that or she doesn't have a holiday and gets shipped off to a grandparents house?

Besides which, under 18's are not insured to stay in a hotel room or separate apartment without an adult, so what does she propose as an alternative?

Many of our holidays were also in a caravan. six of us in the one van.

He’s also going inter-railing with his friends but chose a family holiday too.

so take your arsehole assumptions and stick them up your arse

Besides which, under 18's are not insured to stay in a hotel room or separate apartment without an adult, so what does she propose as an alternative?

Presumably adjoining hotel rooms, aparthotel with sofa bed in lounge and 1 bedroom (or 2 bedrooms) or an AirBnB type place. Which are all very normal choices for a family of 4.

Classy.

My DH and i will share a room with our two children next month on holiday, they are 10&15. My 15 yo DD hasn’t batted an eye lid. My DH will be completely respectful at all times, sitting on the balcony when she changes and he will change in the bathroom. Some evenings she will go up first and get changed while we are out. None of us have given it a second thought. Why does she feel so uncomfortable?

That’s not the point of the thread, it wasn’t even mentioned by OP.

The point was actually that DH doesn’t understand why DD would want her own space.

I shared rooms with my parents on holiday until I got married in my late 20s and my husband would come too if we went with them! If we were doing a cottage I'd generally have my own room, but always share in a hotel room. To be honest I'd still be happy to do that now at 44 if I had living parents and no hubby. This year we (me, hubby and 13 year old son) will be doing hotels every night for 11 nights and our son will share our room. Unless either the shower/loo is physically in the room so there's no way of her sharing a room without being naked in front of her dad, or he's abused her or something in the past, I don't see the problem.

We would for a night (like family room in an airport hotel for example, or a stopover- me, DH, DS 12 and DD 15). Changing in the bathroom and giving each other some space.

For anything longer I think we'd all find it stressful. Tend to do eurocamp or camping to get separate sleeping spaces, even small ones. Last year DD and DS shared a twin room for a week at Centerparcs - they get on pretty well and are respectful of each other's space. For eurocamp (because the rooms are small) I usually go for a three bed.

So it depends for us.

I think it's fine.

Especially if it's all share or don't go.

With the greatest respect that’s just a silly statement saying she’s 15 not 5. A 5 year old probably wouldn’t give a shiny shite about sharing a room with the whole family, but I can understand a 15 year old being reluctant.

Its a tuff one.
My DS13 hates sharing with us, DS15 isn't as bothered. He would rather a room for him and his brother but will share if its that or nothing.
If its for more than 1 or 2 nights, we have been getting seperate rooms for them for a few years now. Like 2 bed apartments or adjoining rooms. Costs more, but everyone is more relaxed & comfortable.
They are big lads now and need their own space.
We spoke to them before the last holiday & showed them what we were looking at booking - it was an apartment but the 2nd bedroom wasn't a proper room, but you could 'seperate' them.
They thought it looked ok and it worked ok.
We try and discuss travel plans and sleeping arrangements before booking.
We did book 1 night in a hotel with 2 bedrooms - we booked as 1ad 1 teen in each but then swapped when we got there. They were ok as we were like 2 rooms away. At another hotel we had 1 night in they were 2 floors away - DS13 didn't like that.

We booked a 2 bedroom hotel room for next year so they have a seperate area to us. Its cost us a bit more bit the extra space will be worth it.

We have done the odd premier inn with all 4 of us but its getting harder and taking it in turns to change in the bathroom is a pain - but we can make it work for a cheap 1 or 2 night away.

My DD shared a room with us when she was 13, 14 and 16. We wouldn’t have been able to afford the holidays if she wanted her own room. She didn’t bat an eyelid!

My son is 15, and has shared Premier Inn rooms with me and his Dad. He's shared a studio apartment in various places abroad with us too. He changes in the bathroom, or me and my husband go on the balcony/terrace, whilst he changes. He's not refused to share because I'm in the room and female!

Do you mean sharing a room as in you can all see each other asleep in bed? That would be a bit stifling for everyone. We usually get a one bed apartment so me and DH are in the bedroom and the kids are in the living area. Never been an issue. Two bed apartments are like hens teeth, and as they are boy/girl teens do some people think we should be booking three bedrooms?

If these are all inclusive hotel rooms I’d advise self catering instead, you get way more space.

Yes.
OP doesn’t say it’s a hotel.
She doesn’t say much at all in fact.
Our separate room holidays have mostly been Airbnb or other rentals, and mobile homes.
DS2 and me did an AI holiday last year and that had one bedroom and sofa bed in living area.
Even when DS2 and me did a PGL holiday when he was 11 we had our own little cabin with 2 bedrooms (and not a lot else!).

I would expect her to share but then I'm currently in a touring caravan with husband, two daughters ( 18 and 22) and son 26 🤣

I think changing is a red herring - that can be done quite easily. It’s more the being on top of your parents and having no privacy for an entire holiday.

I don’t know what her periods are like but if they’re heavy she might not want to be sharing a room with her dad in that case.

I think it’s perfectly reasonable for a teen to be expected to share while on holiday. As long as everyone is respectful about having privacy for changing etc then I don’t see a problem.

we share family rooms and cabins on ships when we’re away. Booking 2 rooms would make it unaffordable to us.

I would have hated to share with my parents at 15, but my mum was A LOT and my dad was just a bit rank. Think farting, burping, sneezing really loudly etc. There was also ridiculous pressure on us kids to show that we were having a wonderful time, which was really stressful. So no, all sharing a room wouldn’t have been for me.

To be fair, in reality my DPs generally booked cheap self catering apartments, which worked a lot better.

I would probably expect her to share, unless she can explain to you a particular reason?

If there's not much cost difference then maybe (she could contribute?) but holidays are already expensive. Is it a hotel room or a bedroom/living room set up?

At 15, there is no way on God's green earth that I would have shared a room with my father or either of my brothers. As mother of boys, since they reached about 10, I have also not shared a room with them. This was one of the reasons we stayed in mobile homes - it was affordable to have two rooms and none of the nonsense about not putting children in a different room.

You need to find a more budget friendly option that allows a separate space for her and her sister to share.

Hotels don't let you book a room until you are 18 but I am sure it was amazing.

She should not be asked to share. How embarrassing for her .