Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

[Geoleo]

Does your husband have patience with you touching up your make up/putting in a few curls in your hair when you’re on holiday. Obviously in the morning we usually agree a time to leave the room so that’s less an issue. Although he does insist I do my hair / makeup in the bathroom and forbids putting on the light in the room which can be awkward when I need to look for items.

But if we go to the room for a freshen up he is completely on me and moaning if I decide I want to touch up my make up. Just saying “come on hurry up” “we’re wasting time” the entire time etc. Im definitely not putting on a full face just cleaning up lip liner/mascara or brushing my hair and reapplying deodorant. 10 mins at most. I don’t know his moaning has absolutely annoyed me. 10 mins either way should not make a difference to anything. Why can’t he just sit on his phone and not nag me for 10 mins. Is this normal?

i enjoy looking my best. I know not everyone cares for make up but I do

he nags non stop even if we have agreed I can have 10 mins.

Where is he is a big rush to get to? Can you just suggest you’ll meet him there or are you a couple who always do everything together?

I wonder if it's more a case of - they go back to the room for a break. They then both decide to go out, and at that point OP announces they can't go out just yet as she needs to "freshen up", so leaving him waiting around when he was ready to go. Which is incredibly annoying for DH but also easily fixed from OP's perspective by just "freshening" up earlier so that she's also ready to go when DH is. Leaving someone waiting about constantly is pretty inconsiderate.

Because there’s no sensible middle ground? You can’t just brush your hair and put a nice dress on?

Nope. Dont put the light on and make someone wake up just so you can do some make up. There doesn’t need to be a ‘forbids’, that all kinds of wrong, but the OP isn’t entirely reasonable either.

For some reason, I’m imaging the OP applying her lipstick using her compact mirror, powdering her nose with a powder puff and using a tail comb to tease her perm.

He should be pleased you take pride in your appearance. I NEVER even do the school run without make up and if he isn't noticing the effort you make I'm sure others will

That makes no sense. She's actually described what she does.

Forbid?
this is domestic abuse.
LTB

Wow. Make up isn’t a necessary part of self respect. Not being able to go anywhere without it is a bit worrying.

Possibly. I only read the first couple of lines. 😬

What does he say when you tell him to shut up?

My ex husband used to do shit like this ....yet when he was on the loo for half hour we had to all wait 🙄. When I met my now husband, I used to rush my make up and hair and apologise and he would look at me like I was mad...that's when I realised just the extent of the bullshit I had put up with in my "old life". What's ten minutes on holiday? As my husband puts it " we rush enough in life...why on holiday?"

He sounds like an insufferable arse who’s probably like this at home aswell as on holiday.
I go makeup free on holiday (and at home, cba faffing about primping and preening and babysitting makeup on my face) and scrape my hair up in a bun during the day so I can swim and take it down in the evening. My routine can be achieved in about 15 seconds - because it’s my preference. Dh can take all the time he wants getting ready, I could read, sit on the balcony with a drink, go ahead and meet him at the bar, watch a bit of telly, whatever the fuck I wanted to do if he needed more time than me.
why the rush on holiday ffs?

You cannot be serious.Tell him to foxtrot oscar. Tell him you will do as you please .

Does he get impatient about other things you do, too (how long you spend in the loo, shops, coming home from work, etc)?

Could he perhaps feel insecure about how much time you put into making yourself look good? Does he ever comment on you getting or wanting attention?

Is he put off by makeup? Does he find it pointless, unattractive or just unneccessary on you?

Whatever it is, he's being completely unreasonable to be so rude and impatient with you. It's not acceptable behaviour from a husband so you need to tell him he's on a warning to work out what his problem is, get over it and stop.

Having to constantly sit waiting for someone can be extremely frustrating
irrespective if it’s in the room or downstairs in bar he’s still hanging about waiting I think it would start to piss me off

I would tell him to go to the bar and wait for you.

Don't bring him back up to the room in afternoon? Agree to meet him outside somewhere, at an agreed time, stick to it. Maybe forbid him from moaning? What's he rushing about for? Is it to walk 20 feet in front of you everywhere? Or taking you on a lovely surprise tour and they are leaving at a stated time is probably what I would be looking at. If it's just about ordering you about all day, that's not a holiday

Exactly, I'd be a complete petty fucker and really take my time 😂 tell him that pissing and whinging about it is stopping you so he's actually making it longer. Though tbh if my DH tried this he'd be swiftly told to fuck off 😁

She doesn’t need to be available to him 24 hours a day. It doesn’t matter if she was doing her makeup, having a shower, taking a nap or reading a book. She was busy and she’s allowed to not centre herself on his husband for every waking minute of her holiday.

It doesn’t matter whether you wear makeup and think it’s all a silly faff, because you aren’t the OP.

It also doesn’t matter why she chooses to wear makeup. It’s up to her. Going bare-faced isn’t some morally superior choice.

What matters is that her husband is telling her what she can and can’t do, and is controlling her to the extent that she isn’t allowed to put a light on until he deems it acceptable and she is nervous and on edge around him whenever they’re in the room.

If you think it’s the woman’s makeup that’s the problem here, rather than the abusive man, your internalised misogyny’s showing.

I can’t even imagine this, what an arsehole. My husband will sit there doing whatever till I’m close to ready, then I usually say something like you going to get ready and he’s done ten mins later whilst I potter. If he gave me ten mins and whinged I’d put a stop to thay the first time.

tell him straight, to shut it or fuck off to the bar and you will meet him there.

Just glad Im low maintenance

I wouldn't even think about make up on holiday , until the evening out and we would both be up in the room from around 4pm anyways , rest, cuppa, shower, chill, drink on the balcony - so Id have as much time as I need to make myself look halfway decent

As for forbidding me to do anything? ............

However we do respect each others ways and needs . On holiday I would easily be up at 4am and he likes to sleep till 9. Not a bother to me, I take a coffee, read, watch the sunrise, go for a walk, get fresh bread, go for a swim , go for a small early breakfast, but come 8am , all bets are off - and I use the facilities as and how I wish

When / how often are your touch ups, OP?

On hols I would get ready in the morning, brush hair / deodorant / teeth / suncream. Hair up if it’s beach or pool day or hat on. I get a brow tint and LVL now before hols so no need for mascara or anything during the day. It wouldn’t occur to me to brush hair or reapply deodorant unless we were out sightseeing all day and even then it would be when I popped to the loo.

I would go and “get ready” in the early evening, shower and smarten myself up.

If this is similar to you OP he’s completely unreasonable. If you’re needing to go back to the room (not just pop to the ladies) more than once a day to reapply full makeup including lip liner and do your hair I could see why he would be a bit eye-roll-y.

Does he do the same when you're on the loo?