Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

[Geoleo]

Does your husband have patience with you touching up your make up/putting in a few curls in your hair when you’re on holiday. Obviously in the morning we usually agree a time to leave the room so that’s less an issue. Although he does insist I do my hair / makeup in the bathroom and forbids putting on the light in the room which can be awkward when I need to look for items.

But if we go to the room for a freshen up he is completely on me and moaning if I decide I want to touch up my make up. Just saying “come on hurry up” “we’re wasting time” the entire time etc. Im definitely not putting on a full face just cleaning up lip liner/mascara or brushing my hair and reapplying deodorant. 10 mins at most. I don’t know his moaning has absolutely annoyed me. 10 mins either way should not make a difference to anything. Why can’t he just sit on his phone and not nag me for 10 mins. Is this normal?

i enjoy looking my best. I know not everyone cares for make up but I do

he nags non stop even if we have agreed I can have 10 mins.

Everything about this confuses me. He can’t tell you what to do and you need to stand up for yourself… but if it takes you 10 minutes just to touch up eyeliner and brush your hair, how long does it take you to get fully ready on a morning? And what sort of holiday are you on?

I don’t wear makeup or do anything with my hair. So I take no longer than my husband. I think it’s a question of you communicating with him so that he understand the time you require to do your hair and makeup.

Is he normally this controlling and dominating ?

Has he left himself go so to speak ?

You shouldn’t have to agree that you can have 10 minutes for self care. You shouldn’t need to explain or justify it.

You are not unreasonable for wanting to look your best or even for just wanting 10 minutes to yourself.

My husband gets a feral perimenopausal goblin with her hair in a bun and some chapstick on the good days. If you fancy trying that for a week to see if he will enjoy that I can give you some tips.

I can see and agree with both sides. I can imagine it is annoying waiting for someone everyday when you want to get going and make the most of the holiday. There can be pressure to enjoy holidays because that’s a big part of life, working all year and getting your holiday out of it at some point. Waiting around for someone can be tedious. Maybe the vanity side plays a part too, maybe it’s not important to him and seems like a waste of time.

On the other hand, it’s important to you to look good and it’s more than fair to be able to enjoy this time in peace. It’s unfair that he is dictating and making this part of your day unpleasant and feel rushed.

Genuine question…. Don’t you just sweat it all off and get your hair wet in the pool within 5 mins?! I absolutely cba in the daytime on holiday so zero makeup and a quick mum bun / pony for me!

I literally don’t care if anyone picks me. I please myself. Much as men do. With no make up.

What's all this freshening up business?

Tell your husband to shut the fuck up and go down by himself or entertain himself for the time it takes you to get ready. Mine wouldn’t dare to rush me. I’d tell him where to go. Why do you let him dictate to you - you’re on holiday as well. What is this need to rush for?

Do you get up first every day on holiday? Fuck that! He needs to take turns with you in getting up first.

My DH spends ages having a shit so he can’t complain about how long I take in the bathroom. And my make-up doesn’t make the bathroom stink!

Nah, nah, nah …. I would be telling him to “shut the f*ck up” if I was with him! It is your holiday to do what you want to.

And opening the curtains when I needed light or turning the light on.

Who does he think he is!!

I dont think my husband has ever even noticed when I’m touching up my makeup. Then again unless we’re going to be late for something he wouldn’t chivvy me along because I’d rip his head off.

What? Why?! DH gets up first every morning, he’s an earlier riser than me. If I took longer to get ready than him I’d get up first (and do at home if we’re heading out somewhere I need/want to get ready/put on make up for).

If he insisted I get up earlier half the days just so I was up first (?!) I’d be telling him to jog on. Plus in OP’s case, he’d just be then waiting around longer?!

Honestly, this would quietly annoy me. It’s so vain and boring. But I’d never say anything! I’d just meet you down in the bar and get the drinks in.

Sorry, edited as that sounds too rude. You are entitled to do anything you want with your hair/face/body! I’m glad it brings you joy. I bet he appreciates how well presented you are. I just personally would find it dull to constantly hang around for so would swerve that but not be horrid about it.

I wouldnt put up with that OP. Its a holiday. Why cant you do what you want? He can meet up with you wherever when you've finished.
Id be telling gim to bugger off personally.
Why is it all such a rush?

Calling people vain is, in fact, rude no matter what you say afterwards

She says he nags even if they agree she can have 10 minutes

He’s controlling and abusive! Jeez why are you putting up with this! Tell him to shut the fuck up and put the light on when you need to!

Like I say, I would never say so to someone’s face because it is in fact rude, I agree. But she did ask. On an anonymous forum. So it seemed reasonable in context.

That’s dramatic.

Yes…this!

Have you asked him who the hell does he think he is?? 😮

My husband used to do this and was very short with me. Would get angry if I walked slowly etc , we had a massive blow out and he got scared I would leave him, changed his tune pretty much overnight. OP he is using you as an emotional punch bag and I bet he does it in other areas of life too. It has to stop or one day you will wake up and want out.

It is vain and if my husband kept in doing things that delayed things deliberately he would told the same

If saying vain is rude then I am rude, so now I am rude what now?

In secondary school I was friends with a girl who insisted I stayed with her in the girls toilets for 10mins every day before school, at lunch and after school whilst she re-did her hair and make up. It was over 20 years ago but I remember how tiresome it was. I stopped being friends with her and did something else with my time instead.

Have you tried telling him to go fuck himself?

If we’re leaving at x time for dinner for example I will take as long as I damn well please to sort myself out / have a bit of peace up to the time we’re leaving. And DH will use that time to do whatever he wants as well.
I would absolutely lose it being pestered like that.

Literally is not,

maybe if posters like you didn't do the constant jabs trying to put yourself on a pedestal that implies you are better than those who don't use make up (which makes it harder for those who don't btw as men then expect everyone to falsify themselves - which sorry wearing make up is as you aren't showing your true self no matter how much you deny that.

I agree pick me's (like you) are the worst flavour of misogyny and don't help women at all, so thank you so much for your pick me behaviour and reinforcing stereotypes for men.

pick me, I'll falsify myself to pander to you and fit your unrealistic expectations of women. PICK ME!!! PICK!!!