Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

[Geoleo]

Does your husband have patience with you touching up your make up/putting in a few curls in your hair when you’re on holiday. Obviously in the morning we usually agree a time to leave the room so that’s less an issue. Although he does insist I do my hair / makeup in the bathroom and forbids putting on the light in the room which can be awkward when I need to look for items.

But if we go to the room for a freshen up he is completely on me and moaning if I decide I want to touch up my make up. Just saying “come on hurry up” “we’re wasting time” the entire time etc. Im definitely not putting on a full face just cleaning up lip liner/mascara or brushing my hair and reapplying deodorant. 10 mins at most. I don’t know his moaning has absolutely annoyed me. 10 mins either way should not make a difference to anything. Why can’t he just sit on his phone and not nag me for 10 mins. Is this normal?

i enjoy looking my best. I know not everyone cares for make up but I do

he nags non stop even if we have agreed I can have 10 mins.

@AImportantMermaid "Is it really 10 minutes though? ‘A few curls’ will easily take 10 minutes and probably closer to 20 minutes - on its own. My mother is like this - always primping herself."

Oh god, I could've written this. The number of times I used to hang around on holiday waiting for my mum to "tidy up". It invariably took nearly an hour by the time she'd got back to the room, set her stall out etc.

I know right 😂😂 no one tell me what to do

If you’re faffing about doing hair & makeup before going down for breakfast in the morning, I can understand that he might find that annoying. I can barely be bothered throwing a t-shirt on & dragging a brush through my hair. But I chill out as much as possible on holiday. Isn’t that the point?

He “forbids” you? What do you say, after you’ve stopped laughing?
No, my DH does not do this. He will ask, quick turn around or getting ready to go “out out”? Quick turnaround is 10 minutes, so he will probably check emails.
If it’s “out out” he usually has a nap!

Is it really 10 minutes or are you saying "I'll just be 10 minutes" when it's actually half an hour or more?

I'm a bit confused here so I've assumed he doesn't want you to put the big light on in the morning as he's still in bed sleeping.

I don't really know what you're freshening up for or when, but it would get on my tits having to go back to the room for someone to re-do their makeup, except if it's to actually chill, shower and change to go out in the evening.

Genuinely, it's exhausting being with someone who's very uptight about how they look.

The 'forbids' was probably just to get MNetters onside and rile us all up so we say YANBU I think.

Sometimes, I read people's op and feel unsettled. I cannot imagine being around someone who dictates what I do or whose mood depends on what I do. I feel great joy that I share my life with a fellow adult human who does him and I do me and we help and respect each other generally. He can be infuriating but he is allowed to be himself. Life is so short and precious. And even I dont bother with make up on holiday, I dont even dry my hair. It all sounds so stiff and suffocating.

How long are you taking to get ready in the morning? If you take a long time (an hour or more?) then it would be rude, I think, to insist on doing it in the bedroom with the big light on, if your other half is prioritising sleep.

I do tend to agree though that your 'ten minutes' is likely to be longer than you think.

What's weird though is that he's your husband, so you must have known each other a fair amount of time- has this issue not cropped up before?

So he has all the control in what you do, how you do it and when you do it. Wow. Honestly, good luck.. it doesn’t get any better. I couldn’t ever go back to that kind of “relationship”.. learn to love yourself and appreciate your time. Don’t let a man control you.

Why is he so needy that he needs to go back to the room with you or wait for you? Cant he be on his own?

Thats what's weird about this.

I remember years ago going on holiday with my friend and her sister.

He sister drove me fucking mad with the amount of time she expected us to wait for her to do her make-up and 'curls' and then to keep touching up throughout the day.

She wasn't happy when I started to just go to breakfast without her because I refused to wait.

It was bad enough that she'd spend all day around the pool, shrieking if anyone splashed her precious hair.

I have no idea how I managed not to dunk her stupid head under the water! 🤣

Just tie it back ffs and get on and enjoy yourself.

Controlling partner tend to become worse after marriage. They tend to rush to strong commitment quickly so it’s harder to escape and easier to control. Just saying.

I’m awake a couple of hours before DH on holiday so I make sure my (minimal) make up, deodorant etc is in the bathroom. I get myself ready in there and leave him to sleep whilst I head to the pool to chill with my book. If I felt the need to freshen up during the day, I’d nip back to the room and leave him by the pool or bar.

On an evening I take longer than him to get ready so he will chill on the balcony with a beer and his phone or book whilst I do my hair and make up.

I agree with others though I wouldn’t be dictated to but also be mindful that your 10 minutes might actually be half an hour which is frustrating if you’ve planned an excursion or to do something at a certain time.

In fairness I went on holiday with a friend about 15 years ago and she took SO long to get ready to go out, she said she would be 10 mins but it was more like 30-40 mins of make-up and hair while I was ready and sitting there to go out to do what we had planned. I did find it quite frustrating when I had thought we had planned to go out at X time.

Sorry, what?! He forbids you? That's not how this works. It's your holiday too, so a compromise is necessary. You are getting ready in the morning without turning the light on in the room for him, he can surely wait 10 minutes during the day. To be honest, he sounds somewhat controlling.

This won’t be popular and while it’s unreasonable for him to nag you. It would annoy me hanging about while someone did their face every verse end. Wear your make up but I wouldn’t expect anyone to hang about while it perfected myself and I would see it as wasting time while I was sat waiting g for you to do curls and eye liner. May be have a few days without it and see how things change, you might even prefer it not having to ‘redo’ yourself after every swim!

Does he gave expectations that you look made up? If he does, then he can swivel. If he’s the kind of bloke that would be quite happy with you with no make up, no nails done, hair in a pony, then, yes, that’s quite an incompatibility.

Why does he even have to come along during the day if she wants to pop back to the room? For whatever reason. Surely they are not surgically attached to each other. If she wants to take more time getting ready in the morning and doesn't turn the main room light on, then surely that's fine. Each to their own. I don't need lots of time to get ready, but it's her holiday too. And they must know this about each other...

And if you didn’t next thing he’d complain you’d let yourself go. You are who he married re I d him of that and stand up for yourself don’t seethe in silence

Sorry dude. Forbids and husband is enough for me.

He has absolutely no right to forbid you to do anything.

Have you tried throwing swears at him? I can think of a few.

Why are you tolerating it?
Move out to another bedroom is my answer.
He sounds like and arsehole.

This. Sorry.

If you can brave it go out with him make up free, sporting bed head hair and an old trackie. He'll never complain about how long you take to get ready again.

Dont you mean if hes the kind of bloke that doesnt like op wanting to feel good about herself then they're incompatible?