Husband having a go when I touch up make up on holiday

[Geoleo]

Does your husband have patience with you touching up your make up/putting in a few curls in your hair when you’re on holiday. Obviously in the morning we usually agree a time to leave the room so that’s less an issue. Although he does insist I do my hair / makeup in the bathroom and forbids putting on the light in the room which can be awkward when I need to look for items.

But if we go to the room for a freshen up he is completely on me and moaning if I decide I want to touch up my make up. Just saying “come on hurry up” “we’re wasting time” the entire time etc. Im definitely not putting on a full face just cleaning up lip liner/mascara or brushing my hair and reapplying deodorant. 10 mins at most. I don’t know his moaning has absolutely annoyed me. 10 mins either way should not make a difference to anything. Why can’t he just sit on his phone and not nag me for 10 mins. Is this normal?

i enjoy looking my best. I know not everyone cares for make up but I do

he nags non stop even if we have agreed I can have 10 mins.

Can you not relax without it?

Why should she not do something she likes doing?

Is there more context to this? Do you take ages in the morning, ages in the evening and constantly want to ‘touch up’ throughout the day?

That’s not evidence that I said she should be the same as me.

He is very controlling OP. I’d be looking to leave him because these types of behaviours only get worse especially when children arrive.

@AgnesMcDoo

she doesn’t need to see if she can relax without it. Why should she?! Her husband can wait or get to fuck. I don’t know why he is hanging around in first place - while she is touching up he too should be freshening up with shower and brush teeth.

You are right. She doesn’t.

I was just curious as to why to bother with the faff. Especially on holiday. Seems like a waste of time to me.

@Geoleo have you ever tried not wearing make-up for a day?
I'm wondering if you're not telling us that there's some sort of compulsive behaviour

I mean literally 2 out of the 4 things the OP mentions is bottom of the barrel basic hygiene, brushing hair and applying deodorant. If that’s too much faff try really need to try harder.

I know, right! I dread to think how some people must go around on holiday! Really let themselves go. No wonder brits have the reputation we do in Europe lol

@AgnesMcDoo

many of us don’t see looking good, feeling good and smelling good as a faff and waste of time

If you use decent quality deodorant you don't have to keep reapplying it duririg the day. Both can be dealt with in any Ladies, it shouldn't need a full-scale trip back to the hotel bedroom.

It’s completely normal to go back to your room between a day out in the sun in hot weather and an evening on holiday. You would be very abnormal to never do this.

Why on earth would anyone lug a hairbrush and deodorant around to do it in a public bathroom rather than going home and actually freshening up after being in the sun/pool/beach?

@Geoleo just go in the bathroom and tell him you're having your daily 20 minute dump which will give you plenty of time to touch up make up.

I didn't even know touching uo make up was a thing...😳

You’re completely missing the point of the thread. It’s the OPs choice whether she wants to spend 10 minutes preparing herself in the morning. I’m sure we could pick apart whether each 10 minute slot of your holiday was optimally utilised based on our own preferences, but why would we?

The issue is that the OP’s DH is making what should be a relaxing holiday into an ordeal because he can’t let her spend 10 minutes doing something she wants to do at the start of the day… doesn’t really matter what it is.

It’s not even like he’s been up for hours waiting as he’s only been out kf bed for 10 minutes himself! It would be exhausting on a work day, but on holiday… it’s crazy! Don’t some people know how to relax?

And what sort of holiday are you on?

Yes, what exactly is this “holiday” that involves such regimentation?! Doesn’t sound much like a holiday I’d want to be on… and I’m very active on holiday compared to many!

Fair enough . But it sounds incredibly stressful if you are always having to present a face to the world and you are never able to relax and just be yourself. Not really a holiday: just business as usual.

Completely missing the issue. He's treating his partner in an unsupportive way when they're supposed to be relaxing. He shouldn't be nagging her when she's on holiday.

I personally dont find wearing or popping back to a hotel room to reapply makeup incredibly stressful. Id be surprised if anyone does. They are probably really not ok if that causes incredible stress.

My Mums health, dickheads at work, the car having yet another issue costing ££, they are pretty stressful.

Makeup just so i dont feel like I look like a bag of spanners not so much. I dont turn into another person either when ive got it on so im really confused by the "be yourself" comments.

It's the level of self absorption that I find worrying. If you are supposed to be enjoying yourself and relaxing on holiday why are you continually thinking about how your make up looks? Do you think that everybody is staring at you and judging whether your lipstick is messy or your mascara smudged? Don't you go on holiday to absorb new experiences rather than spend a good percentage of it looking at your own face in the mirror?

Why on earth have you come to the conclusion you look like a bag of spanners without make up? i don't have good self esteem but describing yourseldf in those terms is pretty extreme.

And of course wearing make up is presenting a version of yourself to the world that isn't the real you.

I didn't say on a morning, I don't wear make up in the day on holiday, a quick face wash, some moisturiser and i'm good to go.

I was clearly on about on an evening, after a day spent at the pool / beach, before we then go out for dinner!

What level of self absorption though? Nobody has suggested they are constantly thinking, stressing or worrying about how their makeup looks, least of all the OP.
You’re creating a ridiculous false narrative in your head just to make yourself feel so above anyone else. Get a grip, no one is missing out absorbing new experiences on holiday because they brush their hair and apply some lipliner before going out for the evening.

Shockingly women can wear makeup, have deep interests, enjoy cultural experience and engage in intelligent conversation. This obsession with trying to make it an either or is actually depressing.

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not self absorbed to want to wear make up on holiday and be aware of how that might look throughout the day.
Most people have the mental capacity to relax and enjoy their holiday AND wear make up.
It doesn’t mean that you’re spending a significant amount of time staring in a mirror. It can mean having a quick look in the toilet mirror. That’s really not taking away time from engaging in new experiences.

I still look like me when I wear make up. It doesn’t change my physical appearance. But even if it did, who gives a fuck? Why does it matter?

Good god me either! DH would get a mouthful if he tried to forbid or insist I do or don’t do anything! He may suggest but accepts if I say no! Generally if he moans about anything I tell him to suck it up as he knew what I was like before he married me!
I wouldn’t be putting the light on if DH was still asleep I’d quietly get my stuff and get ready elsewhere.

Shockingly women can wear makeup, have deep interests, enjoy cultural experience and engage in intelligent conversation. This obsession with trying to make it an either or is actually depressing.

Exactly. Wearing make up doesn’t have an impact on my intelligence or my ability to engage in new cultural experiences.
In fact, anyone who does make those assumptions needs to widen their own horizons.

@AnonymityAnonymity

its ‘self absorbed’ to wear makeup, lol.

so do you think women should stop wearing makeup for example when they become a mother? Dedicate the time the would usually spend on makeup to being with their children ?