Evening Guests? Is this reasonable

[MyLusciousEx]

Could you help me with a list of what type of connection you have with the bride and/or groom to pop you on the Evening Invitee List.

Wedding is mid November - 300 miles (no location connection to couple) away and on a Tuesday.

60ish people invited to the day, about the same again to the evening. Plenty of room at the venue though it's pricey. Very few taxis available to a more reasonable lodgings - and I thonk closest are 15+ miles.

Abd yes I know it's not a Summons 😉

I think you're right!

You aren't her bestie. Sorry.
No way would I travel in the UK that distance on a Tuesday night, never mind to a different country! That's mad.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to have day and evening attendees when it’s abroad. All or nothing.

I wouldn’t consider going to a full day wedding on a Tuesday, 300 miles away in mid-November…even if it was a good friend or cousin.

If it was my sister or BIL, then obviously I’d make the trip, but it’s still an imposition.

If it’s not very convenient, I don’t think an evening invite is reasonable at all.

Who’s going to drive 300 miles for a couple of hours on a Tuesday

Actually make that 600’miles if round trip 😱

It's too far for just an evening invite.

I’d guess relatives took up s as ll the day invites- if you’re besties I’d try and be sympathetic and go have a great time if you can afford it

I think evening dos are good if you're marrying locally, for groups of work colleagues or friends from a hobby (e.g. your sports team) to pop in for a drink and celebrate with you who won't be travelling far and wouldn't have expected a full invitation. I don't think it's fair to expect people to travel any distance for an evening do alone.

I agree. Strange attitude to a "bestie".

Would not travel from Oxford to Gretna Green for an evening do. No way.

With a floral "not white" dress?

Yes, it is a total "Look at MEEEE!" style of hosting. Minimum offering/ throwing of crumbs to have the maximum in attendance on your Big Day.

Tbh I wouldn’t really be inviting any of those on your list to any part of the wedding.

Any colleagues or cousins I have a close relationship would be invited to the whole thing, any I don’t wouldn’t be coming at all, or friends I don’t see anymore.

I think having evening only invites to a wedding 300 miles away is ridiculous (even though they can obviously say no)

What on earth? Who invites friends they’ve drifted from to their wedding?

So, not only a mid-week 600 mile round trip, but a channel crossing as well (train or ferry?). Not something I would do for an evening invite, and (if I'm honest) not sure I'd do it for the full day either.

Tuesday? Eurgh, no thanks

Good question!

I would, if you feel the need as the bride is your "bestie", send a gift (or give one when you see her next after the wedding). But no way would I drive 300 miles for a midweek evening event. I can't imagine that many people who were not already there for the wedding ceremony will be in attendance, so I doubt your declining the invite will stand out.

I wouldn't even travel from West Yorkshire to Gretna Green for a mid-week evening do. It's asking a lot. Why are they having the wedding on a Tuesday and are those who are invited to the whole thing taking a week's holiday for them?

When I got married the people we invited to evening were work colleagues,
husbands football team and few friends that weren’t close close friends. To be honest we didn’t invite a huge number of additional evening guests.

dont sweat it no night guests will come 300 miles on a weekday. That 3 days annual leave. If they are not important enough to come all day they won't waste 3 days leave

Anything the bride and groom think reasonable for their wedding - they don't need to follow set rules. It is their choice and they can do what they want. Equally, guests don't have to go if it doesn't suit them. The location and ease/cost of accommodation may make it harder for people to attend and there might be fewer guests because of this and the bride and groom would just have to accept people might not go if it's difficult and/or expensive.

Mine were a combination of colleagues of varying descriptions, a few of my mum's friends and a few family friends.

We didn't invite anyone who would have to travel. We probably had a few extra day guests because we wanted them there and weren't going to expect anyone to travel just for an evening reception.

We briefly considered a great venue (a manor house owned by the TUC, great for 2 trade unionists and the profit would go to the trade union movement) that was 2 hours away. We wanted evening guests and we knew a venue that far would mean we couldn't really have evening guests.

Im interested in your user name @MyLusciousEx - were you hoping to rekindle?