AIBU to be upset after he turned off my work laptop?

[VividOliveBee]

I am doing a virtual training course via zoom, very heavy going for a respected industry qualification, doing at at home to save on childcare for the summer hols which already has it challenges. Been leaving my laptop on as my work do random, long and unpredictable updates all the time. Came to logon this morning and it’s off. Dh shut it down before bed so everything I had open is lost and I have to frantically try and open and redownload find the links etc, I went mad, said what on earth who does this without asking, apparently I’m unreasonable leaving it due to the price of electric. He won’t apologise and said he wants a divorce and has gone to work.

This is an extremely toxic marriage. This isn’t healthy at all and you’re both clearly fed up with each other and he’s clearly at the end. So are you by the fact you are more concerned and upset about said laptop than your husband stating he wants a divorce and to end your marriage. This isn’t fair on your children, at all.

That last line spun me 🤣

Anyone who thinks its 'normal' to shut down someone else's laptop has never had a laptop / a job requiring the use of a laptop. It's just not the done thing, you have no idea if there's unsaved work, apps open working in the background, literally anything - if you want to 'save the planet' ask the laptop owner if they've forgotten to shut down, they'll happily answer - no need for you to interfere.

As PPs have said, this is not just about the laptop.

How are you blaming her for this?! No way should be have touched her work laptop! The absolute audacity. And the n saying he wants a divorce and flounces off to work? She should take up his offer, sounds like a pathetic child

Internet Explorer was discontinued a few years ago.
Not sure the OP should be looking to you for IT advice.

Exactly. Even my 15 year old understands not to touch my work laptop. Him worrying about how much electricity it used is absolutely laughable, it will be barely anything

Shutting down someone else laptop is not. Especially if they do work on it. I have never in my life turned off my DH computer or phone. If they’re on or off isn’t really my business. Computers update over night all the time. People can be downloading, saving or uploading large files. It’s bloody out of order.

if I lost my sound files because someone turned off my laptop I might commit an actual crime.

He did it on purpose, he doesn’t like you doing this studying because he doesn’t want you to advance your career. He’s jealous, instead of being supportive he chose to sabotage your work. He’s threatening you with divorce because he thinks you’ll fall into line. I don’t know enough about your relationship to say any more than that.

well edge then, just because i got a name wrong i know im right on the power options,

I work for my local council and the amount of updates we have that include restarts is unreal. And no you can’t schedule them yourself, you can’t even snooze them so if that update starts and you’re in the middle of something you better hope you finish or save. Likewise you can come to log on next morning and if IT had scheduled it for overnight but your laptop was off so didn’t update then it will start as soon as you log on.so you can literally spend the first 15 minutes of your day waiting for the laptop to reboot.
Its quite maddening and a massive bugbear but it is what it is.
So I absolutely get why she leaves the laptop on overnight to do any updates etc and i would also be furious

Right. + History.

I think there may quite a few people posting who have no experience of working with large companies whose remote IT kit is updated remotely by the company's IT teams at all sorts of different times and days.
Ours were initiated by tems in the US and were usually overnight UK time which worked well.
I don't think we're talking updating Microsoft or whatever the Apple equivalent is.

My thoughts exactly.