Holidays with grandparents

[gettingold55555]

No judgement either way but just wondering what everyone’s set ups are with holidays. I can tell my mum is put out that we don’t always holiday with her but we can only really afford one holiday and prefer to go alone.
do you holiday with grandparents and if so do they pay? Any friends I have that holiday with their parents/grandparents to kids it’s because their parents pay? Just wondering if that’s the norm as my mum wouldn’t pay for anything for us which is fine but just wondering if im being unreasonable by wanting to just do my only holiday with my husband and kids?

I can’t imagine anything worse. Even a day out is hard work with my parents. Mum wants everything on her terms, wants to repeat everything we did as children and gets huffy if we want to do something different. She then takes it out on dad and they start bickering. It’s a nightmare.

We go on a UK break with my parents every year, we split the cost.
haven’t been away with in laws for 10 years- they choose to book holidays in term time.
we go on any foreign holidays alone.
its a good balance that works for us.

My mother decided to be “fake ill” which she has decades of form for. ILS were abominably rude to all the hospitality staff and complained about everything.

Hi op never got into it going away with family.. would imagine she would expect us to pay it all. Its our only break all year so never did it. Wants things her own way. Very mean too. A big no. I do get hints how good x is to her mam I just ignore it

I tried.
My parents loved long cruises. Which we heard a lot about, over and over again. Dressing up for dinner, the captains table, the entertainers, the escorted trips.
We hardly went away, just long weekends in the UK. I invited them twice, once with my brother and girlfriend. Both times were so stressful. My mum couldn't cope with just the idea of self catering let alone with having a meal cooked by us on holiday rather and kept banging on about it not being a holiday if you have to wash up. The lack of en-suite was also highlighted along with the make your own entertainment. My brother was also dreadful around better than average young children. My mum nagged everyone all the time and made the kids nervous.

My parents were also snarky about the two weekends we did with my PIL who paid and hosted big family get togethers for family events. I don't look back on these with great fondness but the kids enjoyed being with their cousins.

My parents both grew worse with age and I have grown more distant but I'm glad I tried those times so my conscience is easy that we didn't miss out.

I haven't ever been on holiday with my grandparents when I was young, my children are grown up, they have been on holiday once with their grandparents and I paid. I don't know many people that go on holiday with their parents and children, a couple of them who have said never again etc.

Works fine for many families they all get on.. its hard when you save all year and one wants it all their way so no.

We do but the GP pay (sometimes excluding our flights). We also sometimes send the grandchildren for -2 weeks without us.
Lastly we also sometimes book our holiday and message both sets of GP to say they are welcome to book the same resort on the same dates if they want to.

Last two years we’ve been abroad with my MIL but she is on her own as her partner died so wouldn’t really get a holiday otherwise. We did holiday late last year without her as I do like it to just be our little family sometimes. We sometimes take trips with my parents too so it balances out. She’s off away with my BIL next year so well hopefully get away just us as we’ve just had another baby. We got asked to holiday with BIL’s family and my husbands cousin’s family but honestly it was a hell no from me, I don’t like my holidays being dictated by what everyone else wants to do.

This ^
DD is older teen and we never holidayed with GPs. I don’t enjoy spending time socially with my parents - we have very different views, expectations and likes/dislikes.
Couple of my friends did holidays with parents when kids were younger, their parents were paying for themselves and were helping a lot with kids. Mine would actually pay even for me but they would want a very different type of holiday which I wouldn’t like.
In your case I would ignore comments unless directly asked, if asked just say that you don’t think that she would enjoy holidays with you as it’s very busy/ active/ noisy etc

I can't imagine anything more stressful and less relaxing than a holiday with my mother in law.

I would rather shit in my hands and clap than go on holiday with either my parents or my in-laws.

My in-laws - let's just say there is no love lost between us.

And while I love my parents, we are very different people, and would absolutely not enjoy each others company on holiday. The difference in income and expectations would ruin the holiday for all of us.

Oh dear that sounds dreadful.. especially the rudeness to staff, disgraceful! I can't blame you for not going again!

I take my kids away with my exes mum.
We dont have much family so shes included in most things. She has started to pay her way most of the time. Sometimes she doesn't but shes invited to make memories with the kids.

We dont have any family outside of her, and ive always hoped my kids would grow up to enjoy extended family get togethers so im happy to make everyone who wants to be around welcome for the most part.

We usually go away once a year with my DH family (his mum, sister and her family, and our family) Grandparent pays for the accommodation.
Sometimes it is a week abroad, sometimes a long weekend in the UK.

I agree!

Even if you set boundaries such as "we'll have breaks, separate space, budget for this" etc, what that looks like in each head can be a nightmare.

My MIL is generous, my FIL is tight - and it made our last holiday with them a nightmare because it was like having a devil and an angel on our shoulders at all times.

I'm strictly limiting it to every five years and long weekends.

We do weekends with parents/PIL (3 sets as PIL are divorced). They are v supportive, we get on well, and often will pay a bit more of the costs. We tend to take holidays abroad just the 3 of us. We don't really have enough annual leave to do more than 1 week abroad.

If my only holiday was with my mother I would be on my knees. We are taking her away with us next week and I’m already dreading it tbh. It will be a week of being barraged with criticism with the added joy of early Alzheimer’s aggression. We are paying. She has offered us £50 (for a week in Padstow) which she thinks reasonable and I can’t be bothered to argue with her).
we are going away the week after just us, which we will need to get over it!

It depends on your relationship with them surely? We go regularly with in laws and my parents, sometimes we have paid and sometimes the grandparents. I feel very privileged reading this thread that we get on very well with both sets of grandparents though!

When DC when young DH and I used to go on a 2 weeks family holiday each year. We paid half each. Now my DC are adults I have paid for my DD, sil and 2 DGC to come on holiday with us to our holiday home in France so only Brittany Ferries to pay for but I bought all food shopping and DH paid when we all ate out. I loved having my DD and DGC with us. I loved playing on the sand with DGC and swimming in sea with them.

I get on very well with both sets of grandparents, but that doesn't mean I want to go on holiday with them!

My parents live abroad so I have to use annual leave to see them. I can either use such leave to sleep on their sofa or have a joint holiday. I choose the latter. No, we don't pay for each other. My parents stopped paying for me when I started working, as is normal I think.

We holiday with my parents a couple of times a year. Once a year we go to their holiday home in europe for a couple of weeks and another we take them somewhere. We always pay because we're a bit better off than my parents but my brother is less well off and my parents pay when he goes on holiday with them. I think it just depends on circumstances.

We tend to invite grandparents to part of our holidays. Last time we visited Belgium, The Netherlands, Disneyland Paris and then the French countryside. My in-laws joined us for four days in the Netherlands, and my dad and his partner joined us for three days in France. We also had about half the time on our own.

This happens two in every three holidays, on average. Next year we're travelling round Albania and that'll just be us.

Oh, and we all pay for our own bits. They organise their travel and accomodation separately to us. We tend to pay for most of the coffees / ice -creams / dinners when they join us as there is five of us and only two of them.