Holidays with grandparents

[gettingold55555]

No judgement either way but just wondering what everyone’s set ups are with holidays. I can tell my mum is put out that we don’t always holiday with her but we can only really afford one holiday and prefer to go alone.
do you holiday with grandparents and if so do they pay? Any friends I have that holiday with their parents/grandparents to kids it’s because their parents pay? Just wondering if that’s the norm as my mum wouldn’t pay for anything for us which is fine but just wondering if im being unreasonable by wanting to just do my only holiday with my husband and kids?

@FlowersInPotsmy mum takes offence easily we don’t have the sort of relationship where I could say that without it blowing up massively!!

wish I were able to @FlowersInPots

We would not expect our children to holiday with us. They need to have a time without stress. Occasionally they do come with us. We have 2 children and they both have grandchildren. We pay and it is always a second holiday for them. When this happens, we don’t always go out all the time together and the kids have date nights when we babysit.

We do and we pay for ourselves, we are more likely to rent a house or villa though so that makes the shared cost cheaper than going alone, we are also fortunate to be able to afford more than one holiday a year. My in-laws are also lovely, we have been away with my parents too but that feels like harder work

@Yetoneyou sound like such gorgeous thoughtful grandparents xxx

I don't believe there's a rule? As long as the parents treat all their kids equally, I've seen any kind of set ups.

Parents inviting kids, kids treating parents, it's made clear at time of booking and invitation?

Most common holiday with grand-parents is usually at the grand-parents house, it's a free holiday for the kids and grand-parents are happy to see family. Then everyone goes away separately to recover 😂

Spending a week at your parents a few times a year is the most common holiday around me

We do holiday with MIL, but she lives with us so holidaying with her isn’t a big deal.

We also holiday without her. She’s currently on holiday with my two elder DDs (she’s their step-grandmother, but has been Nana to them for many years) as the three of them love hiking.

We’re very, very fortunate though as we have two main holidays a year - a big group with us, adult kids, MIL and a few other extended family members and then just us and the non-adult kids.

My brother and sisters used to all go on holiday together with their parents and children! My mum died and they now take my step dad which I guess is a bit different. But they go at least once a year. They have individual holidays as well.

Did you go on holidays with your parents and grandparents when you were a child? If not then point that out to her!

Growing up, we never went on holidays with grandparents. One set lived a 6 hour drive away and the other lived a 2.5hr drive away. We would go and visit (as a family) and stay for a few days but we never had a holiday as a larger extended family as such, they were all immediate family and, at times, family friends.

Thanks everyone it’s made me feel like im not a total meanie. Seems to also very much depend on relationships and dynamic xxx

I didn’t holiday with grandparents but both of my mums were passed away when I was a baby so my mum would say that and make me feel worse! We didn’t holiday with my dads and they were around though!

Me and my son have a holiday abroad just the two of us every year, plus a UK holiday with my mum, and yes, she insists on paying for the holiday with her (obviously I chip in for shopping, meals out etc). If she wasn't paying and I could only afford one holiday, I'd definitely prioritise me and my son's holiday most years, but he does love the holidays with his nan so I'd probably still want to do that every 2-3 years?

I think it’s quite selfish of your mum
to make you feel guilty like this. It’s your only holiday of the year and she has already shown she is not willing to get stuck in and enjoy the holiday.

We’ve holidayed with my parents & siblings families ever since the first grandchildren were born. My parents always pay for the accommodation and we pay for our ownflights. Food is usually joint.

We usually alternate yearly between a week abroad / long weekend in the UK. We all get on very well but a week is enough for everyone!

@nomasi agree but i don’t have the dynamic with her to point this out unfortunately

We have just been on holiday with our children & grandchildren and yes, we paid!

But it was in celebration of a special occasion so not something we do usually

Thank you 😀 but I think it is just that you have to make it worth their while if you want your children/grandchildren to come. Nobody likes doing the same thing all the time. One day the kids/grandkids went to a theme park and my husband and I went first a fancy lunch and long walk.

I will add it is very passive aggressive not explicit comments

I don't but both my brothers regularly holiday with my parents. They all pay their own way but parents basically spend their holiday babysitting the kids.
I like you prefer we go away ourselves.

My brother is expecting soon and he will holiday lots so I look forward to seeing how often he takes my mum!

Yes, I was a lone parent and went on lots of holidays with my parents, sometimes they paid, sometimes we split costs.
I'm so glad I did, we have lots of lovely memories and my ds has/had a wonderful relationship with his grandparents. My mum died suddenly earlier this year and I've never been more grateful for those quality times we spent together on holiday.
I suppose it depends on your relationship with your mum really.

If you can only afford one holiday a year of course you shouldn’t feel bad about it just being your nuclear family.

Your mum should be understanding of that.

Generally if grandparents want to go away with grandchildren they pay for the whole or a big contribution towards the holiday.

You should go on holiday with grandparents if you want to, not because they're cash cows or because they'll be free babysitters. We sometimes went for a week with my widowed mum and sometimes her and I went away just the two of us for a weekend. We usually paid separately, or she'd pay for the accommodation and I'd pay for the food. I assume your mum is on her own OP? In which case it can be very sad and lonely when you've got nobody to go away with.

We have had a holiday with my parents every year for the last 10 years (since having DC)
Sometimes they have paid or part paid (example they paid all of Air B&B we paid for our own flights)
Mostly everyone pays for themselves example we all went all inclusive big resort types and we all paid our own parts.

We do however also have holidays on our own. Which does make a difference to the dynamic here!

MIL once paid for her two DS and the DIL and kids to go away which was a great time for all!!

However if my parents expected to come on holiday with us and us pay that would be a no!