No acknowledgement 25 yr marriage

[Annie000]

25 years of marriage yesterday. 25 years. Been together over 35 years, six children, 8 grandchildren. My husband woke up yesterday and said 'ooh it's our anniversary isn't it? Fancy a quickie" . No card, flowers, no plans,no posts on his socials. Nada, nothing, zip. I admit I didn't do anything either, because I secretly hoped he would. Not that he ever does. He won't "waste" .only on cards and doesn't"go shopping '.AIBU expecting a little something, a bit of recognition for everything? All the years, all the work, raising the kids, doing EVERYTHING when it comes to holidays, birthdays, Christmas etc. I don't know why I feel so fed up and disappointed, because this is what it's always been like. Not had a dinner or date night on over 4/5 years.
What should I do????????
What are your thoughts????
AIBU?????

I had to enter it on an insurance claim today. I also made a medical appointment and wasn't asked my DOB.

Do you remember your DH or children's dates of birth? Your parents?

You appear to assume that posters who don't celebrate these days have no fun. My mother, my mother in law also thought Mother's day was nothing more than a marketing exercise. It's pretty dismal to have 1 day in the year.

You seem to struggle with theory of mind.

I think it's fun to take part in things. For example, on Mothering Sunday there are often special menus, and churches (if you're into that sort of thing) do special services. It's also a time which heralds spring - the daffs are out and it's time to get out your Easter egg colours! Of course you can have fun any time, but to me these little celebrations are a pleasure.

Well I have never once been asked use it in any official form. I'm struggling to see what possible relevance the date of your marriage has for medical purposes or insurance.

I don't work in family and matrimonial law so have no need to see marriage certificates but for general ID and Anti money laundering compliance marriage certificates or dates of marriage aren't relevant. I've never once needed this information to put clients through on boarding process.

No, just objecting to the idea that anyone who remembers the date of their wedding is somehow not as interested in the rest of their lives.

That’s to you though and you are not everyone. We don’t do any of these things as consider them artificial Hallmark occasions. As for Mother’s Day, sure, if you think fun is going to a packed restaurant where service is stretched thin, and they mainly implement set menu to cope with bulging numbers, then that’s great. Ditto Valentine’s Day. Not my idea of a good time.

However, in a few weeks, I’m hosting an event - for no reason other than I want to - where we are getting the greater extended family together, I’m hosting a great bash where I’m sure we will all have lots of fun, and it’s all organic, not mandated by a calendar date (moreso when everyone could make it). In other news for how people do things differently, we all give each other gifts at various times when we see something we know someone would need/want/enjoy, not when a calendar tells us we are obliged.

I'm aware that I'm not everyone, thanks. The clue to that is when I wrote in my post that you quoted: Of course you can have fun any time, but to me these little celebrations are a pleasure.

Except your earlier posts have been berating posters who aren't interested in celebrating Hallmark Card days.

Well you have to fill that in forms a million times so hard to forget. Not sure of anyone who is asked wedding date regularly

Maybe very specialist immigration or pension forms but they'll want to see certificate as well. NHS asks for dob all the time time if you're in hospital or even day treatment to make sure you are the correct patient. Date of marriage would irrelevant and unverifiable in most cases

I wouldn't say I'm asked for either regularly, but I had to enter our date of marriage on an insurance claim yesterday. I also made a medical appointment and wasn't asked my DOB.

Do you remember your DH or children's dates of birth? Your parents?

Are you asking me if I remember these things? I never said I could not so yes

I want to know if anyone who forgets the date of their wedding "because they are only focused on the rest of their lives" applies the same logic to other dates.

You defended that idea so why not defend forgetting those other dates?

WTF? I merely stated that dob is easier to remember as you use it often.

This week I had a hospital appointment, they asked me to confirm it at reception. Car insurance needed renewal, had to put dob in forms for comparison. Security question for someone on phone had to tell dob . Booked airline tickets, strangely they wanted date of birth also. So in the last week at least 4 or 5 times I've had to give ot

So you took one part of my comments out of context and replied to it? Fair enough, but I am just continuing on the conversation I was having that you interjected in.

Your question makes no sense because we are asked for date of birth so often. I've never been asked for the date of my marriage on an official form.

Haha that made me laugh ‘but I didn’t do anything either’. Well what do you expect? My husband wouldn’t remember dates/years/birthdays etc, not a terribly romantic soul but we have been married over 25 years now. We didn’t celebrate ours either but that was discussed beforehand as it wasn’t a good time.
If you know he’s crap at such things and you want to celebrate your 25th Wedding Anniversary just say so beforehand, tell your husband, kids, whoever, and make some plans. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment as it sounds after 35 years together, you know him pretty well.

That's exactly what I pointed out in a previous post. Then replied to a PP question

This is a discussion forum. Anyone can " interject" as you put it. If you want a private conversation you do it my private message.

That's why I said fair enough, but I am going to continue the conversation I was having, I don't know what is WTF about that

This is a joint celebration. Why it’s on one or other is neither here or there. You’ve purposely not done anything hoping he would go against the grain of the habit that’s taken years to make. You’ve set yourself up for disappointment. Instead of waiting for big gestures (you’ve been with him long enough to know he isn’t one for that) talk to him. Arrange things together

You can continue talking but have to have people replying to you to make it a conversation

Op why didn't you have a conversation a few months ago to discuss how you were both going to celebrate your 25th anniversary? Id totally be asking my husband what we should do and make a plan together. We don't really buy eachother gifts for it, just a card and a meal out or concert or something

Most people enjoy celebrating the milestones and acknowledge that a 50th is usually celebrated in some way.