Over used mumsnet phases?

[WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp]

You/he/she is a narcissist.

You don't sound very nice/pleasant.

I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism.

She/he must have ADHD/Autism.

You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work).

Op: I need a new dress.
Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200.

I hate Boden.

I fancy Greg Davies.

...

What have I missed?

"Thats illegal" - Referring to something not remotely so.

"Are you in a Union?" - usually about an issue that would not require external help if the op just simply queried whatever was going on

"Are you in a union?" - about something where a union rep would have less teeth than my 90 year old Grandma

Dear Hive Mind annoys me a bit.

A hive mind has just one shared opinion, so one reply would be enough.

It seems like whoever says it really means something like Dear Brains Trust (if they want a lot of different opinions)

Being accused of "pearl clutching".

😂

"Wow, just wow."

"End of."

My husband suggested something other than missionary in the dark
that’ll be the death grip, it’s definitely porn.

”I was a bit sad nobody wished me a happy birthday”
followed by a trail of posts with people berating OP for daring to want a nice day

I really, really hate that one.

Tell me you're a xxx without telling me you're a xxx.

Put your big girl pants on.

"Think" as in I'm in a high payjng job, think fund manager.
You're either a fund manager or you're not. I'm sure there's more than one in the whole country.

"Did you mean to be so rude?!". Erm, yes, hence why I was rude/abrupt ffs. A rhetorical bloody question.

The ‘D’ thing. Especially when it’s DDog, or DNeice. It is so wanky and dated.

Over on Tattle they massively take the DPiss out of this, and rightly so.

‘No ifs, no buts’.

In the trenches: SO bloody annoying! Just day “ yep, life’s tough right now, due to xyz”

It's even funnier when Dposters take the piss out of another Dposter who uses a phrase like hubby. Pot, kettle.

Yep, the ‘D’ for everyone/ thing. It’s even DH, when divorce is imminent! 🤷‍♀️

I'm embarrassed for you.

How everything is "outing" which is why some people are so vague

"This thread has been deleted as the OP had concerns about her being identified"

Translation - the OP has flounced as they have had their arse handed to them.

Somebody posted about DP (I also hate the D thing - so twee and naff) and all the way through I thought they meant partner but it didn't make any sense.
Turns out they meant DParents - just say partner or parents.

Yeah, its annoying when people use DS to mean DSis

Also, people say DD30 to mean their 30 year old DD, whereas it should be DD(30). DD30 means she is their 30th daughter

Shit hot lawyer

As opposed to what? A rubbish one?
(You need one who's on the vodka from 8am who barely scraped his law degree, OP, and is permanently pissed. )

I doubt you'd know a good one from a bad one, anyway, Susan (or whatever your name is).

Lawyer as opposed to solicitor.
I'm guessing you're British. Just stop it.

Mind you I had an ex-boyfriend who always boasted he is was going to be a lawyer but ended up as a teacher in Hornchurch.

OMG. I think I just outed myself. Lol.

Took me a while to work out STBXH

You vote for a party, not a prime minister. Actually, we vote for a candidate who could late change parties

Suck it up
Minging
A bit meh
Christ on a bike

Love this one -

Fuck off to the other side of fuck and then fuck some more

’half the world co-sleeps’
’WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least two’
’get a cleaner’

And on the subject of divorce...

Why does nobody ever say,

Look OP you and your husband sound like two fundamentally reasonable people who are just fed up with one another and decided to call it a day.
You don't need a shit hot lawyer ® at all to divide up your 3 bed semi in Luton as it's jointly owned, you both work, earn roughly the same give or take a few thousand, both happy for him to have the kids at weekends and every other Thursday so you can go out with your friends so why not get an average solicitor who can guide you instead of pretending you're in an episode of La fricking Law?

Are you in the Mental health field? Have you diagnosed other MH conditions or sign posted them?
Mine are, Tat, twee, entitled, grabby and sex pest (when it's a situation that the spouse just wanted to talk about or acknowledge the lack of sex).