AIBU to think RSE lessons should be separated by sex not gender identity?

[Ljcrow]

My daughter's in Year 4 and had her first proper RSE lesson this week, covering puberty: body changes, periods etc. Girls and boys were separated apart from one boy who wears his hair long, dresses in what most people would view as "girls' clothes" and who likes to be referred to by female pronouns.
Besides the blatant ridiculousness of it- the fact that this child is never going to go through female puberty, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that girls are already being given the message that anyone can self identify into girlhood/womanhood and I worry about the precedent that this sets.
What complicates matters is that my child is really good friends with this boy and I'm friendly with his parents, although not super close, not enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject with them.
I've no problem with them being friends, my worry is that the school is reinforcing a potentially dangerous falsehood: that anyone who says they are the opposite sex, is.
Myself and my husband have always talked to our daughter about how there's more to being a girl than having long hair and liking pink or unicorns and how people can dress how they want and like whatever they like, but somebody's biological sex doesn't change.
As long as we're consistently giving this message is that enough or do I raise my concerns with the school?
Am I being unreasonable to be concerned about this?

Unreasonable to separate them at all for any of it

I think you should stop referring to your daughter’s friend as he, if they have made it clear they prefer she. Unless your daughter is an idiot she will be well aware that trans and non binary people are not biologically the same as cis people. There is no “dangerous falsehood”, just bigotry.

And I agree with the previous poster, everybody should attend lessons about both boys’ and girls’ puberty. Just because you won’t experience it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn about it, so you can understand what is happening to the people in your life who are going through it.

I'm friendly with his parents, although not super close, not enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject with them.

If this story is true, it's the school you should be taking it up with anyway.

At this age, they should be doing it together.
You’re doing the right thing by teaching your DC at home. That’s what is within your power.

Presumably this child’s parents have stated in which group the child should be for this. Mind your own business

I don't think they should be separated at all. It's important that all children learn the basics with regard to both sexes.

The reason for separating them is that often kids this age will not feel comfortable asking questions in front of the opposite sex. It's plainly ridiculous to have him in the girls' group, both for his own sake and for the girls'.

Of course it's true!

I won't be referring to a biological male as a she.

Presumably they have, but it's the wider message it sends that concerns me.

I think they come together for some lessons as they progress through school but as a pp has mentioned often girls and boys feel more comfortable asking questions about their changing bodies without the opposite sex there.

Don’t be ridiculous! All females are biologically the same as are all males.
Girls should be allowed to discuss a girls only physical process outwith the presence of boys, and vice versa. That doesn’t mean that periods shouldn’t be discussed with boys at all though.
Calling something ‘bigotry’ just because it uses facts not feelings is just plain ignorant.

He’s a boy, he should stay with the boys. Safeguarding is everyone’s business.

That's ridiculous, so this lad has now missed the talk about his own puberty?
I agree- they either have the talk about both sexes all together, or they are separated by sex- not gender.

I think you should stop referring to those of us who are aware of our own sex as "cis" as most of us do not want to be referred to in that way. There are men and women. Some men like to pretend to be women and some women like to pretend to be men. The school were in the wrong.

This.

😂😂😂

oh the satire on here gets better by the day!

fortunately, considering the articulate and sensible nature of the OPs question, the daughter is probably far from being an idiot and will be perfectly aware that the other child is a boy who just happens to like long hair and dresses - neither of which makes him a her.

trans and non-binary people are biologically the same as anyone else of the biological sex into which they were born.

technically there is no such thing as a trans person (you can't transition - not biologically possible), and no such thing as a non-binary person (2 sexes = binary, boy or girl!)

there is no such thing as cis anything - just boys and girls / men and women - it really couldn't be much simpler and a child in year 4 will be very well aware of those undisputable facts...

I think you should stop pretending that just because a boy wants to wear a dress and have long hair that makes him a girl, tbh. He can prefer being called whatever he wants, it doesn’t alter the fact he will always be a male.

So he’ll be told that he will be getting his period soon….lol.

I feel sorry for the boy at the moment, he is so young and being sold this lie. I feel sorry for his classmates being told to go along with a lie. I feel sorry for the girls who may want to ask a question about periods but don’t want to in front of a boy. He is also missing vital info about male puberty which he will experience.

The issues as the boy gets older become more serious. A man potentially in women’s spaces, he may choose to take hormones and fuck up his body, women feeling pressured to say men are women or risk being called a bigot.

Madness.

I would complain to the school OP.

He is a boy. He!

Joining in with the pretence is adding to this poor boys confusion. The more people that tell him he is a boy, but that he can present how he likes, the better. Social transition can be hard for children to go back on.

I would ask the school why the boys get the benefit of a single sex session but not the girls. State that it feels discriminatory against the girls.

But he is a he

Regardless of what people think they are your biological sex doesn’t change.

If you are born male, it doesn’t matter how convinced you are you are a woman it won’t stop you from getting prostate cancer and vice versa. Unless you have medical intervention it won’t stop you from getting ovarian or cervical cancer

To put a male in a group to discuss female biology which is never going to apply to him is doing him a huge disservice. He has missed out on a lesson on how to look after the body he has. He is never going to get the biological female body they were discussing

Also don’t use Cis. It is an unnecessary and offensive

It is discriminatory.

The kid’s a bloke not matter how much fluffy fairy skirts or cuddly bunnies he has.

At year 4 - age 9 - the school should not be socially transitioning him. I thought this went against DfE advice on gender questioning children. Children being the operative word. Who need to be protected from harmful batshit ideology.