AIBU to think RSE lessons should be separated by sex not gender identity?

[Ljcrow]

My daughter's in Year 4 and had her first proper RSE lesson this week, covering puberty: body changes, periods etc. Girls and boys were separated apart from one boy who wears his hair long, dresses in what most people would view as "girls' clothes" and who likes to be referred to by female pronouns.
Besides the blatant ridiculousness of it- the fact that this child is never going to go through female puberty, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that girls are already being given the message that anyone can self identify into girlhood/womanhood and I worry about the precedent that this sets.
What complicates matters is that my child is really good friends with this boy and I'm friendly with his parents, although not super close, not enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject with them.
I've no problem with them being friends, my worry is that the school is reinforcing a potentially dangerous falsehood: that anyone who says they are the opposite sex, is.
Myself and my husband have always talked to our daughter about how there's more to being a girl than having long hair and liking pink or unicorns and how people can dress how they want and like whatever they like, but somebody's biological sex doesn't change.
As long as we're consistently giving this message is that enough or do I raise my concerns with the school?
Am I being unreasonable to be concerned about this?

Oh dear, you are completely wrong about that!

The SC judgement clarified, in April 2025, what the Equality Act 2010 always had been.

The Code of Practice, which helps explain the law, comes into force on 5 August.

Have you assumed that boys don’t get told about how girls bodies work (and vice versa)?

They are separated because it is far harder to discuss these things as a teenager with the opposite sex present. I don’t know why you would want it to be herder for them?

The supreme court judgment came into effect the moment it was announced

The EHRC guidance is official from 5 August

Teaching about periods can be normalised for the boys. They don’t need girls present in order to so though.

It’s not like they need girls to give a live demonstration in the classroom

Why on earth would a school allow boys to 'self select' into a lesson about girls' puberty, while missing one about their own puberty?

Did you think that through for even two seconds before posting?

Have you assumed that boys can only learn about menstruation with girls present?

Girls and boys find it easier to discuss and ask embarrassing questions in a single sex group. Why on earth would you want that to be made more difficult?

But many children believe this, which is the point I was making. The issue is how parents should respond to this. Outright refusal to respect their child's concerns is never going to end well for any of the parties involved.

And actually, there have been rather too many mistakes over a child's sex at birth, but that's not what I'm talking about.

You don’t need to ignore or refuse to address a child’s concerns to also be black and white that their are only two sexes and you can’t change.

a part of parenting is helping your child understand the framework of life / science / reality, and the options within it - so just as you might teach a child that gravity is a thing so jumping off a cliff or out of their bedroom window will hurt, so you teach them the basics of science / biology around sex that they were born a boy or girl and will always be that - teaching fact is not confrontational…

then you teach them the options that exist - so for the child who wants to jump out of their bedroom window window you might introduce them to gymnastics / parkour ninja / trampolining etc; for the child who mistakenly thinks they are the other sex you explore what they mean and find option - any girl can do science / climb trees dig holes etc or any boy can play with dolls, is allowed to cry or be sensitive can put nail varnish on…

that is parenting

Children believe all kinds of things. As a parent, a key part of your job is to help them navigate fact from fiction, right from wrong.

Many children believe in Father Christmas. When their mum is pregnant, or when their sibling is born, many little boys believe that they will be able to grow a baby in their tummy when they are grown up.

I wonder why these two beliefs are not responded to in the same way?

I wonder why you think that a child ‘believing’ that they are the opposite sex, or that their body is the wrong sex, should be treated in the same way as a belief in Father Christmas, and not in the same way as a boy believing that his body can give birth to a baby.