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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think RSE lessons should be separated by sex not gender identity?

181 replies

Ljcrow · 17/07/2026 11:49

My daughter's in Year 4 and had her first proper RSE lesson this week, covering puberty: body changes, periods etc. Girls and boys were separated apart from one boy who wears his hair long, dresses in what most people would view as "girls' clothes" and who likes to be referred to by female pronouns.
Besides the blatant ridiculousness of it- the fact that this child is never going to go through female puberty, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that girls are already being given the message that anyone can self identify into girlhood/womanhood and I worry about the precedent that this sets.
What complicates matters is that my child is really good friends with this boy and I'm friendly with his parents, although not super close, not enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject with them.
I've no problem with them being friends, my worry is that the school is reinforcing a potentially dangerous falsehood: that anyone who says they are the opposite sex, is.
Myself and my husband have always talked to our daughter about how there's more to being a girl than having long hair and liking pink or unicorns and how people can dress how they want and like whatever they like, but somebody's biological sex doesn't change.
As long as we're consistently giving this message is that enough or do I raise my concerns with the school?
Am I being unreasonable to be concerned about this?

OP posts:
Leafstamp · 19/07/2026 20:35

VivienneDelacroix · 19/07/2026 20:27

The Supreme Court judgement doesn't come into effect until 5th August, so the school isn't on "shaky ground" at all, as certain posters suggest. For people who have spent the last 15 months talking about this, I'd have thought gender critical people would be aware of details such as this.

Also we don't know, maybe it wasn't a single sex space, but a self-selecting space.

Oh dear, you are completely wrong about that!

The SC judgement clarified, in April 2025, what the Equality Act 2010 always had been.

The Code of Practice, which helps explain the law, comes into force on 5 August.

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 19/07/2026 20:39

ToWhitToWhoo · 17/07/2026 12:28

I don't think they should be separated at all. It's important that all children learn the basics with regard to both sexes.

Have you assumed that boys don’t get told about how girls bodies work (and vice versa)?

They are separated because it is far harder to discuss these things as a teenager with the opposite sex present. I don’t know why you would want it to be herder for them?

spannasaurus · 19/07/2026 20:42

VivienneDelacroix · 19/07/2026 20:27

The Supreme Court judgement doesn't come into effect until 5th August, so the school isn't on "shaky ground" at all, as certain posters suggest. For people who have spent the last 15 months talking about this, I'd have thought gender critical people would be aware of details such as this.

Also we don't know, maybe it wasn't a single sex space, but a self-selecting space.

The supreme court judgment came into effect the moment it was announced

The EHRC guidance is official from 5 August

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 19/07/2026 20:42

Loopyloopsy · 18/07/2026 15:29

It does benefit girls if periods are normalised for little boys though, which is the main reason for joint lessons in 2026

(Also fairly sure that pp was talking about a biological woman in ladies toilets, trans with a beard.)

Teaching about periods can be normalised for the boys. They don’t need girls present in order to so though.

It’s not like they need girls to give a live demonstration in the classroom

TheKeatingFive · 19/07/2026 20:44

VivienneDelacroix · 19/07/2026 20:27

The Supreme Court judgement doesn't come into effect until 5th August, so the school isn't on "shaky ground" at all, as certain posters suggest. For people who have spent the last 15 months talking about this, I'd have thought gender critical people would be aware of details such as this.

Also we don't know, maybe it wasn't a single sex space, but a self-selecting space.

Why on earth would a school allow boys to 'self select' into a lesson about girls' puberty, while missing one about their own puberty?

Did you think that through for even two seconds before posting?

CornishDaughteroftheDawn · 19/07/2026 20:46

notanothernamesurely · 18/07/2026 19:19

I would challenge the school. I absolutely disagree with children being separated!

Do these boys not have mothers and sisters and in time possibly girlfriends and wives?! Surely they need to understand menstruation!

Have you assumed that boys can only learn about menstruation with girls present?

Girls and boys find it easier to discuss and ask embarrassing questions in a single sex group. Why on earth would you want that to be made more difficult?

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