AIBU to think RSE lessons should be separated by sex not gender identity?

[Ljcrow]

My daughter's in Year 4 and had her first proper RSE lesson this week, covering puberty: body changes, periods etc. Girls and boys were separated apart from one boy who wears his hair long, dresses in what most people would view as "girls' clothes" and who likes to be referred to by female pronouns.
Besides the blatant ridiculousness of it- the fact that this child is never going to go through female puberty, I'm uncomfortable with the fact that girls are already being given the message that anyone can self identify into girlhood/womanhood and I worry about the precedent that this sets.
What complicates matters is that my child is really good friends with this boy and I'm friendly with his parents, although not super close, not enough to feel comfortable broaching the subject with them.
I've no problem with them being friends, my worry is that the school is reinforcing a potentially dangerous falsehood: that anyone who says they are the opposite sex, is.
Myself and my husband have always talked to our daughter about how there's more to being a girl than having long hair and liking pink or unicorns and how people can dress how they want and like whatever they like, but somebody's biological sex doesn't change.
As long as we're consistently giving this message is that enough or do I raise my concerns with the school?
Am I being unreasonable to be concerned about this?

I’d be complaining about the separation in the first place. All kids should hear everything. Splitting them just reinforces stigma and shame around periods

This is a ridiculous situation, not just for the girls whose safeguarding and dignity are being undermined, but also for the boy in question.

So he's going to learn about the impacts of puberty that he isn't going to go through, but miss the class that covers what will actually happen to him? That's appalling.

Who's making these decisions? How did we wind up prioritising neglect and stupidity?

Everything that is thought necessary to split by girls/boys men/women, should always be done on biological sex not 'gender identity'.
The only purpose for the separation arises from biological differences.
A boy who would much rather be a girl is a boy and should be with the other boys to learn the things pertaining to his biology.

All the more reason this child should be in the boys’ group. Ridiculous (and somewhat cruel) decision by the parents and/or school to put him in the girls group to learn about the periods he’ll never have.

The purpose of the lesson is to educate children about the physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty. As a biological boy, he will experience changes specific to the male body, and it is important that he understands what those changes are and why they happen. I feel the school is failing him if he is not being given that information. If the intention is to teach mixed classes, then perhaps the curriculum should cover both male and female puberty so that all pupils receive a complete understanding of the changes that take place during adolescence.

Is it common to separate for this now? When I was in year 4 our whole class had this session together

My DS is in year 7. They were separated for some things, which DS said made sense to him. Some of the girls started their periods aged 10 and whilst they clearly talked that with the boys, not all of them felt comfortable discussing periods etc in front of boys.

My daughter in Year 4 says they didn't split up boys and girls. I would have thought that it should be the same at all schools.

YADNBU. That poor boy is being set up for a horrific shock come puberty. Teachers lying to him now will make it worse.

I have no idea 🤷‍♀️ I understand the logic behind splitting to be honest. All the kids should be informed and educated but I get why girls might feel more comfortable without boys in the room. And vice versa.

Should all be together-we criticise men for not knowing about periods, but they need to be taught. Even if they're gay (and many people don't come out until they're older), they need to understand women's bodies for their daughters/sisters/mums/friends. Everyt ime you hear something stupid, like why ca't she hold her period in, why should being pregnant be tiring, you know they need better educating.
We're just starting to see books/articles about men educating themselves about menopause to support their wives-but I'm a woman who was never taught about that, anywhere I lived. There's not enough education, but it's not just women who need to know-we all live in one society and we all should understand things.

I am not sure about all together, but agree everyone should be taught about periods and the menopause.

As for the biological boy who wants to use the pronoun she, one response could be only to call everyone by name only, and not use pronouns.

Yes both sexes should learn about it, but I know for a fact that my DD would hate to have boys in the same class whilst they do it. They should be separate.

My child is the same age and also recently had those pshe lessons, and the children weren't separated for them. So I'm doubting whether this is even true as seems an outdated thing to separate the children anyway.

Boys can be taught about it, just separately.

I hope the girls lesson includes information about boys too, or else this child is going to be in for a big shock!

The irony of telling someone not to use a certain word as you don't want to be identified like that and refusing to use the preffered pronouns of trans people is outstanding.

What does it matter to you? They're just being inclusive. Frankly i think they should all hear ever together.

Cis is not a pronoun it's an unnecessary addition. Man or Woman is sufficient.

Of course if they are being separated it should be by sex- they are learning what female or male puberty is, it’s to do with our sexed bodies.

the school are collaborating in abusing this boy IMO by going along with the harmful lie that he is a girl. He is not and never will be, and unless he’s on the puberty blockers trial he’ll be going through a male puberty which he needs to know about.

I would speak to the school and complain that the girls have experienced less favourable treatment as the boys got single sex education and a same sex environment to ask questions and they did not.

All I can say to that is that it's 100% true and I've no hidden agenda other than a genuine niggling worry for the reasons I've stated and a dilemma as to whether I raise it with the school or let it lie. I won't give you the name of the school for obvious reasons but different trusts and schools have different approaches to how they teach these things I guess. 🤷‍♀️

I outlined the reasons it matters to me in my opening post.

Unnecessarily personal but okay.

I’m surprised they still choose to separate boys and girls at all. I think it’s important for both sexes to understand what happens in the opposite sex’s body too.