AIBU to think guests should strip the bed before leaving?

[SomehowItsMay]

I need clarity after the social conventions thread as everything I thought I knew is apparently wrong.... So.

Guests should always strip the bed when staying over at someone's house.

AIBU?

YABU - it's annoying, please leave the bedding on, the host will do it when they want to

YANBU - yes, it's rude to expect the host to do it and polite for the guest to do it

No guests have ever done that here. I’d find it odd, tbh. Sometimes they’ll take their towels down to the utility from their bathroom before they leave, but stripping the bed? Not necessary.

No, don't go messing with my house without asking me please.
Like others, I will wash when I get around to it and more to the point, I prefer washing fresh just before the next guest.

I ask. But if I maybe don’t, I just pull the covers up in a weird attempt to just leave it looking tidy.

YABU, not for the reason you've given in your OP but because you were really quite vehement and unpleasant towards your guests on the previous thread about how rude you found people not doing it, (to the extent I remembered your post out of all those on the thread) which is interesting now the majority have said they disagree with you.

If you like someone enough to invite them to your house then getting so angry and resentful when they don't do something you haven't asked them to do isn't being a gracious host.

If it matters that much to you, SAY 'Do you mind stripping the bed in the morning?' Rather than seethe that they aren't psychic.

As someone who has lots of friends stay over, I can only say that I really dislike it when someone strips the bed without asking me. If I am asked I always say no thank you.

I prefer to decide when I’ll do the washing and so strip the beds then.

She told me! Cousin xyz had visited two weeks ago and just stayed one night so the bedding was still fine. My face must have been a picture because she continued to confess that the sheets don’t really change between guests unless
they’re visibly dirty or too wrinkly.

I much prefer guests leave the bed as it is and I'll change it when I'm ready.
Leaving a pile of sheets on the floor is not helpful.

I have a complicated system of sheets and pillowcases that means I don’t have to change every single item on the bed after every guest. A friend stripped everything off and it meant the system was ruined because items that were fine to reuse (no contact with humans) were too crushed to reuse.

I put a flat sheet under the duvet cover to get more than one use from a guest. I do not wash pillowcases that guests haven’t ‘touched’ (bottom pillows if they smell clean.)

I always ask and most guests ask me.

Either you are my sister or doing this is more common than I thought

No, never done it as a guest and no guest has done it for me. I am at peace with that. I'd seriously question a guest who'd do that without asking as it is intrusive and with a side implication that I somehow need to be reminded of washing sheets between guests.

I won't bother either even if an AirBnB asked me to. I leave the place within the check out time reasonably clean and tidy as I found it including all bedsheets and towels in place. I am paying a cleaning fee and I am not being paid to make the host's cleaners' job easier or reduce their turnaround time. That should all have been costed and accounted for.

@SomehowItsMay I’ve had one guest do this and my first thought was ‘nosy sod!’, checking out the pillows, duvet and mattress is to their liking.

It probably wasn’t this of course but I did feel a bit scrutinised. Fortunately it was a brand new bed but that’s beside the point.

This is really odd. You have no idea if they used the bottom pillows or removed the flat sheet as they would have made the bed in the morning. All should be washed.

My sister in law says yes and bring it down to put in washing machine!

I would be really annoyed if a house guest stripped the bed or put their towels in the washer. The former is just making unnecessary mess. It's a home not a holiday cottage where preparation for the next occupant factors in. House guests should make the bed not leave a pile of bedding in a heap.

I prefer to leave the duvet covers on after a guest has left and replace them just before the next guest arrives, they are then fresh for the fresh guests!

If they're stripped straight away, they have to be replaced straight away too... I've enough to do.

Mind you, no guests really these days, no spare beds atm...

I wouldn't like it if a guest stripped the bed in my house, I'd find it quite awkward. I definitely wouldn't automatically do it as a guest.

That's grim!
How often are you having guests that you can't be bothered to wash the bedding between them??

All i have learned from this is that whatever you do, some segment of MN will think you are rude - rude if you strip the bed, rude if you don't, rude if you ask. Apparently all of these are social norms and not social norms all at the same time.

Strip the bed, don't strip the bed, but whichever you do, both parties should assume good intention on the part of the other.

Absolutely not

Real life is messy. Not just mn. There is no perfect world.

I don't.
The only place I go to is my mum's, and the only guest she has is me.
Utterly pointless for her to wash bedding etc after I have stayed there for one or two nights.

i think you have misunderstood. The extra sheet goes between the body and the duvet cover. The top pillow cases and all the sheets are washed every single time, ie, the things that have skin contact. Often the duvet cover is too, but not always, it’s the system that the White Company founder, Chrissy someone-or-other, explains.

A bit of judgement is needed. If it’s a couple, I wash the duvet cover too. Single female skinny friend, who slept one night here, in winter, see above.

It’s the same system as people had with sheets and blankets. You didn’t wash the blankets after people slept one night in them, just the buts that had skin contact.

On the pillow thing... i might use the under pillow only. Because it's more comfortable than the top one for me. But then make the bed when i get out of it and put the top pillow back on top again...

How will you know I used the bottom pillow then????

And I've kicked your flat sheet down to the bottom of the bed because it's a faff. My armpits have gone over the top of the duvet and I'm having hot flushes so sweaty too..

You just don't know what people get up to in bed

Your method depends on a lot of assumptions...

To avoid frequent laundry MIL creatively, made each grandchild a bespoke pillowcase with an embroidered embellishment for use at her house. These little patches of silk and whatnot cannot be washed.
The grand kids are now all late teens and the whole thing is obviously utterly rank.

The yellowed sheets are due to infrequent washing. Stained items are left on beds for long periods then washed at low temperatures with a miserly amount of powder.
I employ the helpful big smile and try and get it in the machine before we leave.
Managed three loads once, what a day that was. Guest bed sheets, then towels, then the sofa bed and the 1950s Z bed crammed in.
The washing machine had never been past 30 before.