AIBU to think guests should strip the bed before leaving?

[SomehowItsMay]

I need clarity after the social conventions thread as everything I thought I knew is apparently wrong.... So.

Guests should always strip the bed when staying over at someone's house.

AIBU?

YABU - it's annoying, please leave the bedding on, the host will do it when they want to

YANBU - yes, it's rude to expect the host to do it and polite for the guest to do it

I would never expect a guest to strip their bed, unless they'd had some sort of sickness/accident in it or a child had.
If I stay with someone, I'd probably ask "do you want me to do anything with the bedding" but I'd never just remove it.

That sort of yellowing with age and use can be worsened with bleach. It can react to make the yellow darker and more permanent.

No, it’s completely weird

People like you are the reason my guests do the dishes even though I don’t want them to 😂

This.

OP- I'm guessing your mum expected all guests to strip beds the without checking with her first? Were they also supposed to turn the washing machine on, hang it out and wait for it to all dry before ironing and putting away?

What other things did she expect 'guests' to do? 🤔

Also, was our nan the exact same? Your mum must have learnt her ways from somewhere?

Absolutely not. I’ve never done it and don’t want my guests doing it. I’ll sort the bedding out in my own time when I’m ready.

We used to stay at ILs sometimes when they were away for large portions of the year, they live by the sea so it was quite nice. We’d actually always wash the bedding and put it back on clean for them. Guess it depends really, I can’t see it being annoying unless the person didn’t actually plan on washing it which is a bit grim.

I ask the host.

Hotels don’t like you doing that. They have their own systems.

Yeah, my in-laws and one set of friends does this, but I didn't know it was a thing to strip the bed until then.

I think people have different preferences - if someone says do they want me to strip the bed, I'll say it's fine don't worry about it. I'd rather they leave the sheets on the bed as I don't have time to wash them for a few days and they'll be taking up all the space in the washing baskets until then!

Yes I’ve asked
and yes they’ve said Thankyou pop the sheets in the basket or oncecwashing machine

Im used to it as we do a lot of Landmark Trust holidays and it’s requested

I have no problems with a host asking me to strip the bed. But in my house I prefer the bedding being left on so that I can wash it at my own convenience and not necessarily straight away.

I have never done this, and I wouldn't expect anyone to do it in my house.

The main reason I think it's not the done thing is that often even newish bedding like pillows and duvets look a bit dirty/stained, stripped back. For this reason, you don't ask your guests to put pillowcases and duvet covers on when they arrive either.

I do it if asked but don't love doing it in Air B and B's but don't feel the need to replicate the Air B and B experience with my guests, I'd rather they felt like it was a nice hotel.

Never asked anyone and no-one has ever asked me.

You ask your host surely?
OP, if your guest asks, just yes ‘yes please’ or ‘no, thank you’. It’s really that simple. Don’t over think this one, they won’t be offended!

YABU, but not because as you stated it’s annoying for the host, but because if you invite your guests over, you shouldn’t expect them to do domestic things. If someone is coming over to lodge that’s different, but if you invite someone for a couple of nights to come hang out with you, I wouldn’t even expect them to wash up a mug I’ve served them coffee in.

Are there actually people out there who think it’s fine to not change the bedding between guests??😮

I don’t think anyone said that, did they? It’s just that they’d rather leave the bedding on until it’s convenient to wash it, rather than having a stripped bed and a pile of laundry to look at in the meantime.

I wouldn't expect a guest to do that. If they were to ask, I would tell them it isn't necessary. TBH I'm a bit surprised this is a thing.

I don't really mind if they do it or not, they're guests I'll look after them whatever. I don't overthink the small things. Someone here used the word "horrified", save the horror, worse things happen in life! MN makes me worry that my friends and family hold me to standards that I just don't know about, is everyone really so judgy? You'd have to do something very badly off in my house for it to bother me. Other things you're allowed to do in my house - help yourself to tea, ask for food if you're hungry, turn up without a gift, do a poo (all recentish threads). Welcome friend, make yourself at home.

Yabu

Also could be the water - my water has high iron and copper and my whites have a ting of yellow or orange - We are saving up for water filter at mo to be installed
Your right too bleach can make whites yellow

I always ask.

Personally I don't want guests to strip it as I leave "used" bedding on until the next guest as it can get dusty, fusty or cat haired in the interim.

MIL once asked me if DP (now DH) and I had "done anything awful" in the guest bed at hers because she wanted to know if she could leave the same sheets on for her friends who were coming in a few days. 😳

Stripping the bed is normal social etiquette so should always be done unless the host says otherwise.

it’s gross to expect someone else to tend to your bed linen.