AIBU to think a revealing wedding dress seemed unsuitable for church?

[Evino]

Recently DH and I were invited to a wedding in Italy, it was held in a cathedral/Duomo technically, but one of the much smaller ones, in the south.
Obviously it being a church wedding we ensured both of us and our teenage daughters were modest, shoulders covered etc.

However the Bride, had an admittedly gorgeous, but I’d say … unexpected dress for the day. With a deep V open back (and the rest of the back was lace so essentially completely exposed), no veil, spaghetti straps and a fairly deep (though not revealing) cowl neckline.

It really surprised me this was seen as an appropriate dress for a church, especially one of significance. I’m not saying the dress wasn’t beautiful, it was! And I wouldn’t say she actually looked particularly provocative, I’d have just thought it would fall outside the modesty standards.

Have Catholic Churches really loosened the grip on what is seen as a modest? AIBU to be shocked that this was allowed and think it’s not an entirely appropriate choice?

I’ve been to lots of Catholic weddings in Ireland and shoulders uncovered is very normal for brides here. Dresses are often strapless.
I’m not sure what’s typical in Italy though.

I'm always shocked at posters saying shoulders should be covered and modest clothing in a Catholic Church. There are no rules. I'm Irish, Catholic and live in Ireland and I have seen all sorts of outfits at weddings and christenings. Nobody actually cares.

What do you think should have happened? The priest insist she put on a cardigan after she walked to the front of the church?

At no time in my 57 years have I ever heard of a 'cover your shoulders' rule in any Catholic church.

The dress sounds beautiful.

Why are you thinking about another woman's dress and wedding this morning?

Irish Catholic here too, although living in the UK, and I have never heard any comments about what is 'appropriate' clothing in church. Only on MN!

Yes i've noticed this trend. The priest often doesn't know where to look! It's very inappropriate.

Yep SiL practicing Catholic, strapless dress, a lot of cleavage. Wedding was 15 years ago, rural NI.
Definitely not a new thing.

Personally I think chosing to wear a revealing dress to get married in is a peculiar choice anyway.

A priest stood in a massive church with a congregation in front of him, doesn't know where to look because the woman in front of him has uncovered shoulders??

Some people really do have funny ideas about Catholics 🙄😁

There is a code for getting married in a cathedral, shoulders covered, dress must have a train etc but don't know if it gets enforced. Not sure about church weddings.

Really? I thought everybody knew you cover your shoulders (and knees) in Italian churches

I was stopped from going into a cathedral in Italy because my shoulders were uncovered (I was in a dress with spaghetti straps) so it's not a particularly odd thing to question IMO.

It was years ago though so maybe attitudes have changed.

I will never understand why some people get so upset about seeing a bit of skin.

What is it about shoulders and backs being visible that makes them "inappropriate" exactly? How is the skin on someone's arm acceptable while the skin on their shoulders is not?

If the priest had an issue with what the bride was wearing, then that is for him to communicate. Isn't it time for the rest of us to stop judging women for how they dress? Does it really matter?

Why would you think this?

I expect there are billions of people who have never been to Italy, let alone to an Italian church?

Besides, all this bride did 'wrong' was have a plunging V on the back of her dress.

Must've been very disturbing for the OP to be still thinking about this at 8am on a Friday morning lol.

I’m not judging, I said multiple times I thought the dress looked stunning, the bride looked stunning and while the back was quite revealing, I wouldn’t say the over all dress was sexualised or provocative, I think she looked rather classy over all.

But based on my experience Catholic Churches I was shocked it was allowed and didn’t think it was appropriate for the setting, not in general.

🤣
We are 2026
Given the catholics history of deviant bèhaviour really.

St Peter's in Rome had a basket of plastic capes to hand out to women with their shoulders uncovered (in the 1970s).

If the plunging V was at the front I can see your point, but showing your back doesn't sound particularly racy imo

Lots of uncultured people on this thread if they think this was ok in an Italian church!

OP yanbu, and anybody who says otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about!

I am surprised, given that many churches in Italy ask tourists to cover their shoulders with a scarf.
I actually think there are many faux pas re wedding dresses in church - what's wrong with having a top layer, shawl, whatever for church that can be removed afterwards? Or just have a wedding dress that doesn't show acres of flesh? Sometimes it's what you can't see that has the most impact!

How can you say that you're not judging and then say you didn't think it was appropriate for the setting? Surely that is a judgement?

If the Catholic church has particular requirements in terms of dress code, then I'm sure that they communicated these to the couple who were getting married. If that dress code was not respected, then the priest would presumably have addressed this with them directly. I'm not sure why you need to start a thread on MN expressing how inappropriate you found it?

Maybe church weddings in the UK (Catholic and otherwise) are more conservative that they are elsewhere? I’m often a bit surprised by comments on the Style and Beauty board about what’s considered unsuitable…no hint of a shoulder for example.

I’m not judging

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm Irish and I agree with you as far as Ireland goes. However I got married in Italy and everyone had to cover their shoulders. The priest had coverings available if needed.