AIBU to think a revealing wedding dress seemed unsuitable for church?

[Evino]

Recently DH and I were invited to a wedding in Italy, it was held in a cathedral/Duomo technically, but one of the much smaller ones, in the south.
Obviously it being a church wedding we ensured both of us and our teenage daughters were modest, shoulders covered etc.

However the Bride, had an admittedly gorgeous, but I’d say … unexpected dress for the day. With a deep V open back (and the rest of the back was lace so essentially completely exposed), no veil, spaghetti straps and a fairly deep (though not revealing) cowl neckline.

It really surprised me this was seen as an appropriate dress for a church, especially one of significance. I’m not saying the dress wasn’t beautiful, it was! And I wouldn’t say she actually looked particularly provocative, I’d have just thought it would fall outside the modesty standards.

Have Catholic Churches really loosened the grip on what is seen as a modest? AIBU to be shocked that this was allowed and think it’s not an entirely appropriate choice?

We have watched Italian weddings in Sorento where all the bridesmaids and bride covered their shoulders before entering the church. I have also - this year in Lucca - been asked to cover my shoulders. I assume the bride must have checked with the priest before her big moment.

You have too much time on your hands.

Yes it’s been confirmed that the priest allowed it as the over all look was modest and elegant, they didn’t have any bridesmaids, best man etc so likely no need to worry about them.

What’s it got to do with you?

Catholicism varies a lot in character from country to country. It's ability to do this is part of how it has kept itself so powerful. (Lapsed Irish Catholic with a very great dislike of the church here.)

Where have I told you what you're thinking? I merely asked you some questions based on your previous posts.

You referred in an earlier post to girls dressed in certain ways "inviting unwanted attention" and "unwittingly laying themselves open to danger" because of the way in which others might interpret the way in which they were dressed. I was curious as to whether you would follow this argument through to its logical conclusion.

It seems not. Thank goodness for that.

Pretty sure that’s between her and the church. Not your concern.

Italian Catholic here, it is very much a thing in parts of Italy.

I remember Pippa Middleton's dress caused a bit of a stir at William and Kate's wedding. Some people were saying it was unsuitable for Westminster Abbey. She certainly turned a few heads!

Very droll, Mrs B!

You do like a barney, don’t you?
I can assure you, my logic is impeccable .😌
As for yours … 🤔

Definitely. In a church in Venice there was a sign saying no short shorts and shoulders to be covered. In a church in Treviso I was told to put a shawl on because my short sleeve dress which covered me from neck to ankle had a very slight, and I mean slight scooped neck at the back.

Yes I've had this too.....shamed in to wearing a shawl to cover my (scandalously bare!) shoulders ha

It's 2026, we no longer believe that we will burn in hell for showing skin. Hope this helps?

Yes it absolutely is

She literally got married there, with a priest. So obviously it was OK 😂

Did anyone ever believe that?

This.

Ha, no of course, but I still don't think there's anything wrong with op questioning whether it was "allowed" as Italian Catholic churches are notoriously strict...

She’d already discussed it with the mother and been told it was allowed, she then started a thread in here asking if she was unreasonable to think it was inappropriate. Even though she already was told it was not.

You are literally prevented from entering one with shoulders exposed in Italy. They keep a supply of large pashminas by the door for the slutty tourists! (Like me!)

That' not the point

OP, I found your original post quite reasonable. What has taken me aback is the nastiness of the replies.

haha.....like me too :)
I love a bit of slutty shoulder exposure lol

In Italy it is a thing. I was wearing a vest top as a teen to enter the Duomo and was told to ‘cover my shoulders’. I’ve also heard of people coming up with all kinds of clever shoulder covering in the moment to be allowed to enter, as it’s generally known that with a strappy top or similar you won’t be allowed in.

Perhaps it’s specific to Italy/ certain places of worship, and maybe things have relaxed last few years.

Anyway, I think this policy is more aimed at tourists than regular worshippers. I am imagining a priest running out with an emergency cardigan though 🤣

I've been in Italian churches just as a visitor and they were refusing entry to women in tank tops (or shorts). Some had shawls they would lend.