AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

Yes, South America is like North America in that way. Settled by Europeans and the indigenous people largely wiped out or assimilated, mostly wiped out.

Ive said before on threads its about self loathing and self harm. No other country acts like this.

The Falkland Islands are ca. 300 miles (nearly 500km) to the east of Argentina. Not thousands.

Yes a hop skip and a jump away

On that basis I think we want France back.

I merely corrected an incorrect statement.

@5MinuteArgumentnot all, Paraguay, El Salvador, Peru have high proportions of indigenous people

I assume this is tongue in cheek?
I clearly remember where I was when it was announced that Argentina had invaded the Falklands.

The Falklands isn't contested by the UN, its protected by them under the UN's self determination rules.

That’s incorrect. The UN considers the FI to be a territory with unresolved sovereignty and calls on both the United Kingdom and Argentina to peacefully resolve the dispute.

If we are getting into that territory the UN doesn't classify the Falklands as contested, it classes them as a non self governing territory.

And the UN recognises self determination. but like the slack jawed wet blanket that is the UN, it refuses to make a decision on the flakland islands clam to self determination.

Well, I suspect by that response to a mere correction of incorrect information, it can similarly be claimed that France is thousands of miles from England. N’est-ce pas? So, quite the trek.

Since we can bs on facts, it in fact being a distance of ca. 21 miles (roughly 33 km) can be ignored.

It’s awful to bring this onto the sports pitch. It’s specifically prohibited and Argentina need a massive fine for doing it. This, and the Olympics, is supposed to represent friendship across all countries. Argentina have disgraced themselves. FIFA, quite predictably don’t act.

As for your relatives, I’d give them a wide berth for now

‘Contested’ is colloquial. They do not recognise British sovereignty is the point.

The Argentinian national football team were a disgrace for picking up that banner. They tried to foment war. For this reason they should be banned from the world cup tournament for 10 years. When you look at the other human aspects of that country, you will understand this better. Something bad happened in this country in the 50's and 60's to turn it into the way it has become.

It is not disputed by the UN. Just Argentina.

Which is stupid because it is resolved by listening to the wishes of those pm the Falklands. Unless we are meant to ignore their wishes?

Yeah… kind of this.

I’m trying to think of the best way to say this but there’s a difference between you as an individual English person and The English. And… the whole English kind of um, like the colonial thing. A lot of people have an issue with that. And it’s not about you as an individual English person but… saying you wouldn’t say equivalent things about Argentina is… not the same. Because of history.

Like when England lost and the government said: we’ve lost the World Cup but the Falkland Islands will always be ours .most English people were like: yes absolutely. And absolutely everyone else was like: what the actual fuck.

Sorry you’ll be supporting Spain in the final, even though your husband is Argentinian and your kid is half Argentinian?!

see that, to me is wild!

It’s ridiculous we have it and that we actually fought over it. It’s like Argentina owning the Isle of Man, or something. Imperialism is over.

How ironic.
The British settling on the Falklands and deciding that they owned it is an example of British Colononialism. There are, of course many worse examples, where the native populations were terrorised and killed.

Back to the topic of the thread, I do think that turning a football match into a political statement is ridiculous.

Yes, imagine if the Argentinians owned the Shetland islands. Brits would be furious.

Yes.

"Two World wars and one World Cup, doo daa, doo daa..."

Ultimately and regardless of the geography the Islanders simply don't want to be governed from Argentina.

That was a major major sticking point in UK/Argentina negotiations over the islands in the late 70s (during which the Callaghan government had to despatch, unknown to the general public, a mini task force in case the Argentinian government took matters into their own hands - Operation Journeyman for those interested).

The Argentinians then did themselves no favours with the treatment of some of the locals during the 82 invasion (I was down in the Islands for the first time in late 82 and heard some of the stories from those involved), they didn't really do a good job of winning over hearts or minds, and it looks like that hasn't been forgotten.

Imperialist hangover or not, handing the islands over to Argentina means riding roughshod over the wishes of the vast vast majority of the locals.

Apologies. I meant to say 'defend' not 'invade' which was clearly not the case.

This surprises me. Your son is half Argentinian and you dh is- why wouldn’t you want them to win. Rather than get back at the family members that are being a bit unreasonable, why don’t you set a good example to them and your son.