AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

Stick this picture on your own Facebook.

To be fair some do have reason. My husband lost his grandparents in the bombings. However he doesn't hate the Germans.

Why?

Doubt they will get punished.

Where "your perspective" = historical fact 😶

They were never Argentinian, and the population wish to remain British. So you support colonialism do you?

I know what you mean - but those jibes are old ones and have had the hard edges knocked off them - it's more of a joke between those nations.

Nope. I'm in Germany. It is seen (esp since it ramped up after Brexit) as vile nationalist jingoism. Which it is.

They don't let themselves get wound up by it and ignore it for the most part. Nut they are judging

So… “two world wars and one world cup” is dismissed as harmless banter.

Can you explain why you feel that is very different to your lived experience of things Argentinian fans say ?

They are, Scottish and Welsh, but as usual its all England's fault.

You’ve got bigger fish to fry, OP. You’re raising a mixed ethnicity child in a country with almost no Latin American community. Your child will find their ethnicity isn’t even on the forms of protected characteristics. There’s white other but if you’re mestizo that doesn’t really fit.
Your son is going to grow up seeing people who look like him being killed in the US simply for existing. You’re going to have to navigate conversations about the the cultural differences, machismo/ marianismo gender roles, being half coloniser and half colonised. It’s not an easy role.

I’m very surprised this is the first time you’ve realised that your husband’s Argentine family’s political allegiance is with their country. How do you expect that an Argentine would think the Falklands belong to Britain? It’s next To their country and they tried to take it!
Yes as your son grows, he’ll learn history from the viewpoint of both his countries of heritage.

Its your English privilege that gives you the audacity to think that tbh. And your husband is hanging to tell you that he doesn’t feel the same blah blah blah so you’re not upset. Lord have mercy.

They don't kill Argentinans as they are probably white enough for Trump.

How ignorant! If you would rather support Argentina in the final because you think they are less racist then you know nothing about Argentina. You must have kept your head buried in the sand when it comes to Argentina's football antics.

Anti-English sentiment being seen as acceptable, even trendy, is contributing to the rise of far-right political movements.

When people feel they can’t be proud of their own nationality and heritage, whilst all others are celebrated, it creates a sense of unfairness that results in backlash.

That’s not to say our country’s history is perfect, no country’s history is. But as others have said, we don’t hold modern day Germans responsible for the evils of the Nazi regime - in fact we see them as distinct peoples despite the fact that many Germans today will be the descendants of Nazis.

I make this point OP because I think the Argentinians’ hostility towards England is the only one that gets called out, but hostility towards parts of England’s history and hostility towards its people should be separated.

I suspect the family members posting those things didnt think about you or DS for 1 minute. They may not really think of you as British given you speak Spanish fluently etc. I mean if they thought properly they would but casually they possibly just didnt remember it. Certainly my family members probably don't think of my DSs as British but they do hold British passports.
So you are not unreasonable to be a bit upset with this but I don't think fwiw that it's really targeted at you personally.

I've had some older family members say things about race that relate to my son so I think hmmmmmmm when I read that kind of thing. Because I do know they don't mean my son when they say borderline racist shit but "oh they don't think of him as black/mixed race" doesn't make it much better. (It was one person and they were old so not worth getting into a big thing but I did reduce contact)
I don't think that saying bad things about the English (or Argentinians or Scottish) is the same thing as saying bad things about race. It's not as bad. But I think OP is quite justified in not liking it. Also, if you read her posts she is very careful not to insult Argentina or even get drawn into a discussion about who the Falkland Islands belong to. So she is aware of the need not to slag her husband's country of herself, the hostility in this case is coming from the relatives only.
I would leave the WhatsApp groups personally

Still no reason to politicise a football match against a group of individuals who were not alive in 1833 nor 1982.

SquashedSquashess · Today 09:18
Anti-English sentiment being seen as acceptable, even trendy, is contributing to the rise of far-right political movements.

I think it's the major factor in why parties like Reform have grown up.

I never understand why politicians of any party give the impression they don't have pride in their country and its people, while still being respectful of other nations.

You see it on MN all the time - pps falling over each other to make out that the UK is worst place in the world. These people are either very sheltered, ignorant about the world, or being wilfully malicious.

(Not a Reform voter - but someone who hates trendy anti-English or anti-British attitudes.)

Politics has no place in sport. The Argentine team should have been reprimanded for what they did. It left a nasty taste in the mouth at what should have been a great event. And how disrespectful and downright insulting to the English players, some of whom they will know personally.

It was a big error of judgement - and, also - what a crappy, badly written banner it was!! 😁

Let's not create problems that dont exist. My child is not mixed ethnicity. I said further up thread DH background is entirely white European so DS is white and blond. As for 'half coloniser, half colonised', not sure how that applies when DH is not descended from any indigenous tribes in Argentina. I'm guessing you're from the USA with a comment like this.

Exactly

A bit ironic really when non native Americans were colonisers.

Latin American people are rarely one ethnicity. I’m not from the US, I live here, but I know that being raised in a country with no recognition of people who share your culture, can mess you up. Your argument is very ‘nothing to see here’

Why?

They were British before Argentina existed and the islanders want to remain a British protectorate.

So what reason is there for them to be part of Argentina.

Whut? Is this sarcasm?