AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

People get weird and over the top about the football. It feels personal to you, of course, but it isn’t really. They’re just unaware and would probably be surprised that you’re hurt by this. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Raise your son to embrace his heritage on both sides and to learn better manners than your husband’s family seems to possess.

@Notcominhomenow I'd like to visit Argentina one day, it's an interesting country both geographically and culturally.

As you say, the majority of the current population are at least partially descended from European immigrants who arrived in the 19th and 20th centuries, years after Argentina's attempt to claim the FI in the 1820's. So no ancient ties to the islands and the islanders themselves aren't interested in being part of Argentina. It's all rather odd.

Yes, agreed, some people seem quite happy to express opinions on something they know very little about. You'd think a quick google would be in order before posting stuff (other search engines are available).

The banner raised by those footballers was a statement of Argentin facism, re the Falklands.
I'm amazed they chose to do it! 😲
It's almost like Russia..a country chooses to sacrifice prosperity and happiness just to grab some rocks and penguins off another country, that would be Argintina (and in Russias case: some bombed out rubble!)
They looked like they were off their faces on nationalism 😒

...just to add, where has Argentina's block population gone. Most people don't know there used to be one, just as there is in Brazil today.
Sorry to my Argintinian friends, but it's worth mentioning, in the context of far right-ism.

The first ever person to set foot on the Falklands was British. It was then settled by French, British and Spanish. The British eventually governing it. They left it undefended for a time when they were stretched which is when the Spanish invaded. The British took it back and have been there ever since. They settled the islands before Argentina was even a country. A country created by colonialism. It is no different to them wanting to take over any country that is near them. In fact they thought about invading Chile’s islands instead but decided to try the Falklands as they thought it would be easier. There is no giving it back. They never had it and the people there choose to be British because who would want a corrupt country like Argentina governing them.

They would have to be massively uneducated to think that.

The Falklands were British before Argentina ever existed, the Falklands war was started by Argentina invading a foreign entity and referendums in Falklands consistently reject Argentinian rule. The aggressors here are the Argentinians.

Some English people do to be fair! They’ve got a whole song about it that they sing even if not playing Germany.

But I do agree with you that these family members and a lot of Argentinian supporters were being total dicks.

Tbh they can say what they like about the Falklands, they won’t be able to take them back.

Also I believe that most of the Falkland Islanders are of Scottish descent!

Give back? You can't give something back that wasn't theirs to start with

Please educate yourself, it's embarrassing....

My uni professor said the Falkland’s conflict was like two bald men fighting over a comb.

Ever been there? Try telling the locals that.

The Falklands never belonged to Argentina.
English navigator John Davis recorded the first sighting of the islands in 1592. Captain John Strong made the first recorded landing in 1690, naming "Falkland Sound" after the Viscount Falkland. Argentina didn’t even exist back then!

Many people there are of Scottish descent. The islanders don’t want to belong to Argentina. They see themselves as British.

Ok that is your perspective but its clearly not Argentinas.

Is that the one that goes "Two world wars and one world cup, doo dah, doo dah...." 🎤🎶😁

Yeah, it's just the way it is, OP.
I don't watch football but family does. Silly songs and competitive "banter" is part of it.
It'll all be over soon, thank goodness and go back to normal

I think you probably need a thicker skin. This kind of thing, though unpleasant, happens all the time and between so many nationalities depending on which side of history they are (or think they are) on.

Maybe as an English person you aren’t used to it. But you hear it against Germans, French (cheese eating surrender monkeys, anyone?) and so forth, especially from anyone who sees their nation as having won WW2 (on behalf of or against whichever other nation that they are choosing to berate). Rise above it and above all, don’t feed the trolls!

Not RTFT, OP - sorry. But I'm sending sympathy.

The way the Argentinian team behaved, both during the game and outside it, was disgraceful They played cynically and not within the spirit of the game. It was more in the spirit of Maradona's notorious 'Hand of God' goal - their national ethos seems to be 'win at all costs, and if you can get away with it, that's fine'.

They brought politics into the World Cup, which no-one should be doing.

Shame on that team.

Come on Spain! I really admire Keir Starmer for coming out and criticising the Argentinian team, and actually saying he hopes Spain win! Thank God for a politician saying something a bit controversial for once!!!

I know what you mean - but those jibes are old ones and have had the hard edges knocked off them - it's more of a joke between those nations.

But the Argentinian attitude is much more hard-line.

I remember 1982. It's very inappropriate that Britain should be in charge of islands so close to Argentina, sure. But the population is totally of British heritage and all of them want to stay under British control. At the time the Argentinians were ruled by a fascist junta. Should we let fascists just walk over small countries and disregard the wishes of the people there? The islands are tiny and have far more sheep than people - so the Argentinians wanting them back is very much a macho gesture - not related to the intrinsic value of those islands.

I don't know what the political situation is now in Argentina but they need to recognise democratic rights and stop being so belligerent.

Its not a perspective for fucks sake, its historical fact.

Yes. i looked this up yesterday. The people had a vote.

The result was 99.8% said they wanted to remain a British territory. I remember the number because it was so stark! And i usually forget numbers as soon as i have read them.

That's pretty clear to me.

My best friend is German and has lived in the UK most of her life. It’s not such a problem now but imagine her experience during big football events… Nothing bad ever happened but she certainly felt the sentiment. What I mean is, the Brits have strongly held views too.

Oops, I’ve RTFT, ignore.

The shit that goes with international matches is just ridiculous but millions if people join in. I know some sensible, well educated people (mainly men but not exclusively) who seem to revert to neanderthal collective behaviour.
Many of the young supporters have claimed the Falkands are ours....but I can pretty much guarantee they know nothing about the history before the Falklands war, built on the British is Best mentality (let's wash over how countries were 'obtained')
I do think the Argentina team were extremely stupid regarding the banner (regardless of beliefs). That could result in consequences which could affect their final match/results. There should definitely be some consequences but think it will be after the final.