AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

Yes, I agree. OP supporting Spain only adds fuel to the fire. If I was OP, I would be supporting Argentina, even if I secretly supported Spain because I don't like Argentina's attitude and all the fouls they commit.

Ds is too young and won't even be watching.

The point should be that the UN has decided not to recognise self determination which their own rules say that they do.

Why should the OP support a team that doesn't have the same values as her, just to placate a family that also doesn't have the same values as her.

Its one step away from walking on egg shells.

The English, in the form of the nasty end of the press, behaved like savages towards Argentina when the Belgrano went down, with a heavy loss of young lives.
Pretty much a national chorus of chest-beating and piss-taking, when Argentina was reeling in shock. (At least, that impression of the English was very easily formed, from a distance.)
Many Argentinians haven't been able to swallow that episode comfortably, unsurprisingly.

The Argentinian dictatorship forcibly conscripted young men usually from poor backgrounds and pushed them to the front line of a war ordered by a man who was also killing large numbers of Argentinian dissidents, throwing poets out of helicopters, raping and torturing women and imprisoning pregnant women until they gave birth then killing them and selling their babies to loyalists. About 30,000 people, many of them young men, just disappeared https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirty_War

The sinking of the Belgrana and the deaths of those young men was a tragedy. In the same way that the vast Russian death toll in its war with Ukraine is a tragedy. However, it's is Putin's crime not the Ukrainians.
Right from the start, the reaction to the sinking in the UK was muted with some people considering it a necessary evil and some terming it a war crime in spirit if not technicalities. There really wasn't that much gung ho celebration on the British side. Not even from the soldiers and sailors themselves. It was a terrible thing. It's also a terrible thing that the enemy (British) had more concern for the deaths of Argentinians than their leader did.

That's also why I hate the jingoistic use of past wars in football (the UK has done this too in the past). It cheapens the deaths. Likewise the Argentinian football team choosing to pose grinning and shirtless with a banner leaves a bad taste because it's projecting a machismo attitude but they would never be on the front line of any war. They are multi millionaires with cosseted lives.

Humans tend to destroy what they worship. Political movements which idolise young male virility and ultra masculinity always end up sacrificing large numbers of young men to war. Which is what the Argentinian right wing regime did. Trying to portray those young men as martyrs to a higher Argentinian cause and using it to inspire a whole new generation of young men doesn't make Milei the good guy.

(NB when I say it was muted of course there were a handful of rigjt wing tabloid writers who took the chest beating root. They are of a kind with the majority of the Argentinian media)

I suppose we were bound to get to the Belgrano eventually.

I agree that the UK right wing press coverage was dreadful..

What sometimes gets forgotten is that it wasn't the first use of lethal force in the conflict and FWIW many in the Argentine military (including the Belgrano's captain at the time) accept the vessel was a legitimate target...politicians seem to often see it differently.

Anyhow, back to football... it's a long story but I've visited Argentina a few times and a while ago (post 82) I remember a pleasant couple of hours sat amongst the locals in the home end of the Estadio Monumental watching Argentian play in a world Cup qualifier....plenty of time to chat about matters, various....no problems at all...

It's the old case of you just have to careful to watch out for the odd... 10% and most politicians.

Exactly.

I've been to Argentina a few times and never had any issues. That's why some of the stuff around the football match took me by surprise

You and the OP's in-laws need to read a history book. The Falklands have never been part of Argentina. In fact. Argentina didn't exist when they became British. The only reason Gautieri went after them (and Thatcher bothered to defend them) was because they both had problems at home.

Trump wants Greenland for the resources he can steal. Argentina wants the Falklands in case there is oil around them that they can exploit. Hence why Trump supports them because he thinks US firms can coin it in.

By the way I saw a boy with an Argentina shirt on in my local park this morning. I think he was probably a Messi fan more than a Argentina fan though :)

As for the passport is there any point? I think the Italian one is the most useful, OP.

I never had a bad time visiting Russia, even as Putin was ramping up the blame the West for everything stuff. I did have a friend who was dual nationality Russian-British who had to avoid visiting there in the 2000s because there was a risk of getting conscripted. They weren't at war then, but there was a minor chance of getting shoved into a leaking submarine or some such. In my experience even post 2014 lots of Russian people were really lovely but would be very hard-line in the subject of Crimea/Obama being out to get them. So people can be nice but have very different opinions that can be quite jarring.

I would not visit Russia now obviously but it's worth pointing out that, as Russia got weird, it was possible for me to visit but not the person I knew with a Russian passport. I don't want to come across as anti-Argentinian but they do have a difficult history, and Milei is wrecking the economy (plus the presence of people like Thiel doesn't bode well) so it's quite hard to predict what the place will look like in 10 years or 20 years. It might be doing really well, it might be conscripting all young Argentine men etc. So for that reason, if I was you, I would hold of on getting Argentinian citizenship for your child. It might actually reduce their options/ability to visit Argentina if the worst comes to the worst.

(Of course, there's no saying what politics will look like in the UK or Italy in ten years time either. We live in interesting times).

By the way I saw a boy with an Argentina shirt on in my local park this morning. I think he was probably a Messi fan more than a Argentina fan though :)

@igelkott2026 I have a sun hat with Argentina written on it that a friend brought back for me after visiting Buenos Aires. I used to like it, but I don't want to wear it right now!

I agree with everything else you've said, I can also see parallels between Trump's attitude towards Greenland and Argentina's towards the FI.

I had the pleasure of meeting Simon Weston in a social setting - we were on the same tender dropping us off in Port Stanley. I asked him if it was the first time he'd been back and he said no, he'd been back a few times.
If you look him up you'll see he was a Welsh Guard who was catastrophically burned when his ship was on fire during the conflict.
Simon has met and became friends with the Argentinian who caused the fire.
I mention this because he has a huge capacity for forgiveness. He calls himself a thick Welshman who didn't have a clue, but he's actually an unexpected character. He's a real person, as were the other service personnel in the conflict.

What I'm saying is that some of the posts on here about the FI conflict are ignorant and shameful. Servicemen died to ensure the Islanders remained free and British, which was and continues to be their wish. Whatever your view please ascertain the facts rather than drivel on about the British invading etc which frankly is insulting to those who served to defend the British against invasion by a despotic regime which was killing and disappearing their own people who dared to speak out against them.

777 service persons were injured
255 died
3 British civilians were killed.

Why did the government say that? Why are you ignoring the context (in response to the Argentina team waving the sign on the pitch).

The UK government did not simply make that comment out of nowhere.

There is A LOT of feeling between Argentina and England. Mainly over football. Most English people dont even know where or what the Falklands stuff was all about and couldnt care less. More related to Maradona and his hand of god. Probably Argentinians see it a different way. I hope Argentina get their come uppance tonight but not because of the Falklands. Next week it will all be forgotten about until the next world cup.

Yeah! Let us punish this young boy by denying him a passport because his relatives are silly! Make it make sense.

I posted a probably over long comment earlier but there are some instances where it's better not to have a passport than have it. If a country brings back conscription or becomes politically more isolated then it can be harder to visit family etc if you are a citizen than if you aren't.
I'm not trying to scaremonger or imply Argentina is doomed to go down a particular path. But it is worth considering the cons as well as the pros in getting a passport. It's not so much about "denying" a boy his passport since he has the option to apply for citizenship himself as an adult.