AIBU to feel uncomfortable about anti-English vibes from family?

[Notcominhomenow]

I'm English, my DH is Argentinian, and we have a 2-year-old DS.

I've always got on well with his family and we've visited them a few times or theyve come here. I speak the language fluently and am fairly integrated in that sense. DH has lived in the UK for 13 years and has always been very clear that he'd never move back to Argentina because of the economic situation there.

This week's football match was the first time England and Argentina have played each other since we've been together. I supported England (as I always would) and DH supported Argentina. Neither of us are particularly hardcore football fans, so we watched it without any issues like mature adults.

The wider family has been a different story though. My BIL and some of DH's cousins have been sharing anti-English posts on social media, "The Falklands are Argentinian" posts, and videos in the family WhatsApp group after the match showing people in DH's hometown chanting that the Falklands belong to Argentina and waving inflammatory flags. It's a very conservative small town.

I genuinely can't imagine my own family sharing any anti-Argentinian content or trying to inflame tensions like that if the situation were reversed.

I've never had particularly strong feelings about the Falklands issue or cared that much, but I can't help feeling there's just no need for thus politicisation of a sport. Most of the people posting are the younger members of the family, but they seem to have forgotten that both me and DS are English. It just feels unnecessary and, if I'm honest, a bit disrespectful. The older ones haven't said anything or have been more diplomatic.

It's also made me wonder about the future. Am I being unreasonable to worry that, as DS gets older, they might try to influence him with those kinds of views? I obviously expect him to know and appreciate both sides of his heritage, but I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone trying to push very political or nationalistic opinions onto him.

We were due to sort an Argentinian passport for DS (already has British and Italian) but now I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing. Dh isn't bothered about the citizenship, it was mainly me who was driving it so he'd have more options when he's older.

Would this bother anyone else, or am I overthinking it? I just feel a bit shit and uncomfortable about the whole thing and that a stupid football match has brought out a very ugly side of people I considered family.

I don't really want to turn it into an issue as if these are personal posts meant for me, DH says its young family members being immature. I've muted everyone on social media for now for the foreseeable so I don't have to see anything else.

I think a lot about colonialism. You are making assumptions about people on this thread and their background, knowledge and race.

Rhodesia unilaterally declared independence in 1965. The reason this wasn't formally recognised was because of Britain's policy of NIMBR (No Independence Before Majority Rule) which the settlers in Rodesia didn't want (because racism). While many people had/have reasonable grounds to feel badly treated by the British, the Rhodesian settlers did not and do not. This did not stop them feeling very badly persecuted of course. Anyone supporting the Rhodesian state because of "anti-colonialism" is a bit of a sap.
Likewise the Argentinians are not the victims of the British or of colonialism.

I am speaking to the British faux surprise that these matters are hugely sensitive for some countries - right or wrong.

Except the history of the Falklands nothing like that of which you speak.
Not sure that Argentina has a right to be sensitive.

My post got hidden** but I agree. It's one of the reasons I don't like the way its being linked to football. I care a lot about football but it is just a match and linking it to very jingoistic displays like the flag cheapens the deaths and suffering. On all sides. (I also don't like it when papers like the Sun try to link the two either).

**I think because I used a word beginning with A in the context of saying I don't like the word used as an insult. oh well.

The Malvinas issue is "very sensitive" in Argentina due to decades of Argentinian politicians deliberately using historical revisionism and nationalist lies to distract from their own political failures.

It has absolutely nothing to do with Britain's colonialist past. And frankly, it's insulting to the Zimbabweans to imply any kind of similarities to their own past.

You read a book

My point is - that it's not really for you to determine who should be sensitive about what.

You literally made my point.

Issues like this are emotive and this is fairly recent history.

Their group chats in Argentina may be entirely different from ones in an English family group chat. That is my point.

This in no way means that the OP's son is going to be turned against her. That is a really dramatic take.

I am just pointing out that people can have different perspectives and one is not superior to the other so as has already been suggested if she doesn't want to see the memes she should leave the chat or mute.

It's not for British people to tell other countries what they should think about sensitive matters and that attitude is quite frankly why the Brits get a lot of hate from other countries.

Obviously in this case the history suggests one party was clearly in the wrong and also the use of the World Cup to "whip up" feelings is not appropriate and against the FIFA rules.

I am speaking to the OP's "surprise" at the "intensity of the feelings".

It's good to try to read with comprehension skills. I did not apply any similarity to Zimbabwe other than the timeline - similar timelines - early 1980s - so fairly recent.

I am not going to insult my own people.

I am speaking to the fact that these matters are still relatively raw for some, and no one should be "surprised by the intensity of feelings" around them.

The only correct statement is your final sentence.

I had the pleasure of visiting the FI and it's stunning. With me on the same boat was Simon Weston. I really hope he doesn't read mumsnet . . ..

I strongly suggest you read up on the Falklands war. Argentina invaded the FI with no warning. The FI are and were at the time a British Territory Overseas. It has never been Argentinian soil.

It was uninhabited until the 1700s when a French settlement was founded. Some years later it was given over to British rule and has been British (BTO) since that time.

It's beautiful, a flatter version of Glencoe, with red roofed houses and fabulous sandy beaches. There's several huge colonies of penguins one of which was wiped out this year by bird flu.

There is a pub and a private distillery making FI gin using flora from the island, and lots of handknits made by the islanders.

The weather is cool in the winter, around 0 and when I went in their summer it was around 14 degrees and very windy.

How can they be raw - FI have never been an Argentinian colony. Never . . .

Yes? People do. 2 world wars one world cup is famously an England chant.

its football the insults are half the fun. Most people are not taking it seriously.

In a vote recently the population of the Falklands voted by a huge majority to remain a British territory.
When Britain assumed control in the 18th century there was no indigenous native population to be abused or overloaded, enslaved etc.
It was a right wing, fascist Argentinian junta who invaded in 1982.
So, fascisti who support the Argentinian claim - do you love the UK right wing too?

14 degrees and very windy. Sounds perfect!

There was a referendum on the residents of the Falkland Islands preferences around 2010. The vote was about 90% in favour of remaining British and in the Commonwealth. Sorry, if this rehashes a million other posts. HNRTFT.

@HelpMeNavigateThisPlease Sure, people can be sensitive about whatever they like. But given the Falklands have never been Argentinian, the whole "las Malvinas son argentinos" is ridiculous.

The fact that the Argentine military junta chose to invade them in 1982, when the regime was falling apart due to the Argentinian economy collapsing, in an attempt to avoid being overthrown and facing the consequences of murdering tens of thousands of their own citizens, does not mean that Argentina has any kind of historic claim on the islands

The Argentine people have undoubtedly suffered a lot, but it's almost entirely at the hands of Argentine politicians and dictators. They really can't make any claims to being victims of British colonialism.

There are many different perspectives on the world and cultures and it benefits us all to open ourselves to them.

However, if we want to talk about grievances (and really that is what is meant by "sensitivities") then indeed everyone has the "right" to any grievance they want. But actually not all grievances are equal. And not all grievances require remedying by others
The grievance of a former Confederate soldier in the deep south of America that the South lost the war, is not equal to the feelings of grievance of someone who was enslaved. The grievance of a man who wants to have sex with a woman that says no does not carry with it any compunction on the woman to remedy that grievance.

Yes of course

It has to be Britain's fault. Britain at fault. The English at fault

Course it is.

OP, your husband is not responsible for his family, you get arseholes everywhere.

What do they think their claim over the Falklands is?

There did used to be a football chant sung by England fans to the tune of 'Camptown Races' whenever England played Germany:

'Two World Wars and one World Cup, do dah, do da'

The Falklands are thousands of miles away from Argentina and the people living their are British by descent. And were when the war happened 40 years ago and since 1833.

not even that - in Germany they look on England and English football with affection, as the home of football. They couldn't generally give two hoots about the chanting, unless it crosses a line.

Their big and really really quite nasty at times rivalry is with the Netherlands at football.

Loss of territory!!!

Thats really funny.

Talk us through this please

What colonialism is involved in the Falklands?

@SpottyPyjama Have you been quoted and refuted enough yet? Your narrative is complete fiction!

If you look at the facts this has nothing to do with colonialism and everything to do with a poor government that was trying to protect its own interests and divert from its own subjugation of its population.