AIBU to find my friend's Instagram posts about her stay rather odd?

[allthingsinmoderation]

AIBU to think this very odd behaviour or am i just behind the times: My friend of 30 yrs ,we met at primary school ,she lives 100 miles from me came to visit with her husband and 4 children for a week. We live in a touristy place. We spent a lovely week taking them to local places with our family,pretty villages,restaurants,museums,beaches etc, My friend is very active on social media particularly Instagram. I have instagram but am not very active.
After my friends stay she posted pictures of her stay,each place we had visited including my house and garden as if it were a magazine photo shoot,it was as if they lived in my house or it was a holiday home and we didn't exist. She captioned the photos holiday/holiday home/family holiday. In fact she had erased us from some photos. Is this strange or am i behind the times?

Maybe a little, but if she has a lot of public views she may have been focused on your personal privacy, I'm assuming pics of your home/garden didn't include precise location or address.

Even though she probably didn't include you to protect your privacy, I would be annoyed that she didnt ask first to post pictures of your house. If you plan to see her again, I would pm her and say " hey, next time its no problem to include pictures of us, please dont bother going through the hassle of removing us, but if you wouldn't mind letting me know what pictures of our house you intend to share first before posting."
That makes your expectations clear and no surprises.

I'd comment and say " it was amazing having you stay with us. We had a great time too. So much fun showing your lovely family all our local sights."

Yeh, you're behind the times. Apart from the fact she wouldn't post about you or tour family is a private thing, she posts about her own life and what she's done. She technically nevwr lied as she did visit these places and put holiday home as it is technically for the tike she's staying with you. Maybe her followers would like ideas for the area or days out with kids, who knows, but if she didn't moan or say bad stuff then I'd not even grumble about it

I can see why it would be uncomfortable but I do think this kind of thing would be quite on brand for a person who's very ingratiated in Instagram culture or who's page is set up to show lifestyle content as a 'creator'. It's so prevalent online that I think people often try to emulate the posting styles of influencers on their own feeds.

In this situation presumably the purpose of it is to make it seem that she is the type of person who goes on holiday to nice places/can afford this, rather than the reality which was that she was a guest at your family home but is trying to make out its a rental. If your home or local area wasn't nice then she wouldn't have done it, so there's that compliment to take from it I suppose.

It's a shame that people feel they need to do this kind of thing, Instagram is great in a lot of ways but popular influencers perpetuate some awfully skewed representations of daily life, it's no wonder people feel desperately insecure with their normal lives.

It's odd. But to my mind the oddest thing is that she didn't mention it to you, ask if you minded before doing it, ask if you'd like to be photographed or not, or tagged or thanked for your hospitality or given any credit for your beautiful home.

Perhaps your friend is insecure and seeks validation, perhaps she envies you your home.

You say you are old friends - if I were in your shoes I'd ask her about it. 'Oh I saw your posts, and I thought it was a bit strange to see we'd been cropped out and not received a mention' or 'I wish you'd asked before posting photos of my home' - clear the air so that it's not secretly affecting your relationship.

That’s weird. Why don’t you just call her out on it? Or, have some fun with it…take a picture of you and your family in your house, holding up a picture of your family and her family on the holiday together 😂 😂

Definitely comment!!!!

Thank you for such lovely pics of our home, Nancy! After 30 years of friendship I had no idea you had become such a good photographer!!! 😍
We loved the visit, too. 💕

Has she posted pictures of you recently? I think it’s a recent-ish thing for people to be more cognisant of others wishes/permission to be photographed. so depending on how recently the previous pictures were shared, it might not be that odd that she has shared photos of you previously but not now. That being said I think it’s also bad form to have shared your house without asking or mentioning you, so who knows!

It is weird of your friend ro not mention in her post the great hosting she received from her friend and how you were a fab tour guide taking by showng her around local places of interest. Plus how lovely your home is and thanking you for a wonderful week.

How sad to feel the need to fraudulently pass things off as yours.

Seems to be very Common on the Internet, like the incessant Virtue Signalling that goes on here all too frequently

Soryy your friend is an attention seeking user.
To delete you from the pics is her trying to make out this is their holiday, and not acknowledging your hospitality.
Drop her, but not before telling her why.

This is very very weird.

Posting pics of your home on Insta without your permission is absolutely out of order.

Erasing you and your family out of pics is also astonishing.

See above. Permission. And having the good grace to seek it.

If my friend literally erased me from photos I would have to say something to her. I’m assuming you’re pretty close? I wouldn’t be cross necessarily but would definitely lightheartedly mention it to her

I‘d take quite a dim view of anyone posting photos of my private home. Geolocation of photos is a thing. I would shrug it off for now but not invite her again unless you’re prepared to tell her not to do this again.

@RumPidgeon Geolocation of photos is a thing

Very good point. Plus I’ve heard of burglars using floor plans on Rightmove to plan burglaries.

Yes, I can't believe some people excusing her posting pictures of the house without the OP and family in as protecting her privacy, when actually posting photos of someone's home without permission is a massive breach of privacy.

I would comment and say lovely to see you, so glad you enjoyed staying with us at our house 😀

I think she had a lovely time and wanted to remember it. She has erased you to protect your privacy. She isn’t hurting anyone so leave her to it, it’s her social media account.

I would hate the interior of my home plastered on the internet. It would feel like an invasion of privacy. Not really the security thing ..which could be an issue but just that I would feel personal or valuable things on show.

It's definitely a bit cheeky and rude! It sounds like you were wonderful hosts and really put a lot of effort into taking them places and showing them a great time, so a good friend would have thanked you and shown off your lovely place as a compliment to you, not themselves! Take it all as a massive compliment anyway!

She probably erased you to protect your privacy/anonimity, but posting your private home on her socials is absolutely wrong. She should've at least asked you in advance if you would mind.

Yes 👍

I only post photos that I have screenshotted if it involves our home or locations tied to my family.

Photos of your kids in their rooms etc allow criminals to map out your home and tie them to their occupants.

Or so-called friend is trying to make it look as though she owns more than she actually does.....

I wouldn't like that. It just irritates me to think about. I'd probably find some excuse if she tries to invite herself again.