AIBU to find my friend's Instagram posts about her stay rather odd?

[allthingsinmoderation]

AIBU to think this very odd behaviour or am i just behind the times: My friend of 30 yrs ,we met at primary school ,she lives 100 miles from me came to visit with her husband and 4 children for a week. We live in a touristy place. We spent a lovely week taking them to local places with our family,pretty villages,restaurants,museums,beaches etc, My friend is very active on social media particularly Instagram. I have instagram but am not very active.
After my friends stay she posted pictures of her stay,each place we had visited including my house and garden as if it were a magazine photo shoot,it was as if they lived in my house or it was a holiday home and we didn't exist. She captioned the photos holiday/holiday home/family holiday. In fact she had erased us from some photos. Is this strange or am i behind the times?

Well it’s quite simply rude to enjoy someone’s hospitality for a week and then act like they don’t actually exist and you were staying in an air bnb.

People are users.

I'd post pictures of my holiday/days out/food.
I wouldn't post pictures of your house though, that's just rude and invasive.

It’s really weird but that’s life these days - everything is “curated” to give some bullshit online impression of how great someone’s life is, so they can breathe in the oxygen of attention and approval from virtual strangers.

There’s a huge difference in privacy terms of posting pictures of people attending your own party, than posting pictures of people in or at their own home.

I would find it very weird if anyone posted pictures of my home and garden full stop, but would be furious if they posted pics of my family and me such that it was obvious where I lived.

Instagram isn’t real life though. Everything on there is curated and cropped. She is projecting an image and a life that isn’t quite real, but so is almost everyone else, so I think it is par for the course.

Definitely reply 'lovely to see you and have you stay with us'

I'd comment on a house photo 'you've made it look amazing. Perhaps we should start renting it out and you could give us 5 stars on Tripadvisor'

I would be more annoyed if she had put photos of me and my family all over instagram. I do not allow photos of my children to be posted on SM. I respect their privacy and want to keep them safe... I think it's mad people don't protect their kids!

Mad concept but: ask her?!

If you're friends you should be able to communicate with each other about this.

"Oh mate, that holiday home you stayed in last week looks sick, send me the details, I want to book!"

then

"but seriously, why wouldn't you mention this was a stay with friends? Am I too ugly to make the cut for your instagram account?!"

I used to have a blog and instagram account about family and affordable local activities and days out. Because it wasn't private I made sure that I didn't use any faces of my children, me, friends etc. Only faces were in crowd shots at big events but mostly there were no faces used. This was to protect my children's digital footprints and to provide a level of anonymity to keep it separate from my job.

However, I would always be open and honest about how we paid for things, who we went with (no names but "our lovely friends" or "my uni mate and her kids" kind of thing) so it's definitely bizarre that she's not referenced it being a stay with friends.

Short answer though: talk to her

Of course it’s not to protect your privacy 😂 it’s so she could pretend she’s had a fancy holiday, not a freebie with a friend, it’s just fake instagram.

You're a far better person than me to host a couple and their four children! Even more reason to comment on her post!
Was she generous while they were with you? Paying for food, bought you gifts etc?

I wouldn't care what someone posted on Instagram. Unless I suppose if they were saying my house was a dusty crap hole and I was a worse host than Basil Fawlty?!

She clearly liked it and thought the surroundings pretty. Posting public pics of others can also be considered to be poor form.

Just comment under the post "So glad you enjoyed yourself, we were so pleased to have you come and stay at ours, we'd love to have you again 🤗😍😍😍"

Then post a couple of your own photos and tag her in it.

Lots of people indulge in self-promoting nonsense on social media: Look how rich/beautiful/successful I am, even when the truth is rather different. They can be nice people in other ways. I'd try to ignore it.

Hard agree. Some people just do it because they think it's the thing to do... but it's pretty harmless. I certainly wouldn't cut her off as a friend or anything like that, as some pp have suggested!

I’d comment underneath - ‘haha holiday home I WISH’ was lovely to have you to stay, thanks for taking such nice pics - it usually looks a state !’ Or similar

This is just the ‘done thing’ for some people on SM.

I find it a bit embarrassing tbh, like they’re trying to be something that they’re not.

I would still take it as a compliment that she felt your home and garden were ‘insta worthy’

That’s what would do as well 😂

Is it really harmless though? I think it creates a culture of aspiration and people feeling bad that their lives don’t resemble what other people have (according to instagram).

Odd and shallow from her

This is what I remind myself if I ever feel depressed about people’s perfect lives on Instagram. None of it is real!

And OP she should have asked if it was ok to post photos of your house. It is your private space. I wouldn’t post a friend’s house without asking

She invited herself and her family of 4, to your home, which happens to be in a holiday location, posted pictures of her holiday without reference to what should have been the primary purpose of her holiday - spending time with you..

Mmm... I would feel 'salty' about this... a little bit used.. and a bit pissed off.

Obviously not. After what happened to Ann Widdecombe Op, I would have her delete any picks of your home and garden that might indicate how to access the place or the layout.

I would post, ‘you have made our house look so amazing there, thank you! It was so nice to see you’.