AIBU to ask for more flexibility before accepting this job offer?

[Aabbaas]

Have an offer from a company. Been in my role for years and I have lots of flexibility with my working hours which is key as I have a 5 year old DD and do school runs etc.

Role is hybrid: 2 days at home, 3 days in the office. Office is in a part of London which isn’t convenient for me and would mean commuting for 1 hr 45 min door to door.
Day starts at 8:30 to 5:30 but they have made it clear it’s busy so I think extra hours are expected.

I can only consider this role if they allowed me to work from home 3 days a week and start at 9am most days and theb leave at 4pm when in the office and do the pick up. Then I’d reconnect in the evening to finish work.
Is this an unreasonable request? It is what ai do with my employer but have earnt this flexibility over a long tenure and I appreciate a new company might think IABU.

Keen to hear thoughts

Well you can definitely ask. However they might say no, in which case I assume you would stay in your current role?
Are you a single parent or do you have a partner who could do any school runs?

You can ask, but I wouldn't expect them to give you the job. You're not suitable.

Office is in a part of London which isn’t convenient for me and would mean commuting for 1 hr 45 min door to door

So why did you apply for it if you know it doesnt work for you? You've wasted their time.

Yeah if they said no I wouldn’t take it.
DH’s job isn’t flexible as he needs to be onsite and longer hours. He does 2-3 school runs a week but it depends on his rota and he definitely can’t do pick up

If those are the only terms you can accept the role then you have to put the request in. We can’t tell you if it’s acceptable, it would be fine where I work but wouldn’t be in lots of places. You have nothing to lose, ask, but be prepared to say no and need to turn the role down.

Because when I applied I did not know their working pattern nor the fact that they start at 8:30 (9am is the norm in my industry)

Just decline the offer.
If the rule is 3 days in the office there is no way they will piss off everyone else by give you an extra day at home.

Is it public or private sector?

I think this is true
I know within our nhs trust we are fairly flexible but we couldn’t do something for one team member and then not another team member, that just wouldn’t work at all and would cause all sorts of issues and grievances.
Location of Work is really important when you have young children as you have to factor in the commute and time to collect them and drop them off. I guess your other option is a childminder/ Nanny on the other days of the week perhaps?

Sounds like the wrong job for you.

DH’s job isn’t flexible as he needs to be onsite and longer hours.

This job requires you to be onsite and longer hours, so you can't do the pick up either. Why do you expect this company to consider concessions for you that your DH is apparently unable to demand from his employer?

You knew the location though. Its not the role for you.

Ask. If they say no then thats it. Depends on how much you want the job

Is the company based at Paddington?
If thats the case I can assure you that they will not budge from the 3 days per office rule and you will get a monthly reminder about the mandatory attendance rules alongside a warning about disciplinary repercussions if not adhered to.
If you already know that you will struggle to make this work I’d turn it down.

Not the right job.
Flexibility at that age is vital

DH isn’t “apparently” unable to demand that. His job cannot be done remotely and working hours in his industry aren’t negotiable.
I work in professional services and lots of people in my work circle have these types pf arrangements as parents. It’s very common in my company for example

No

If i had a pound for every time a woman on here insisted flexibility is the default in her job, but working hours are completely fixed in her husbands (tyically Big Job), I'd be rich.

Well you are wrong. DH does not have the big job, quite the opposite in fact. I think maybe you should just trust what the OP says without questioning these facts further.

You can ask but I imagine they’ll offer to someone else

You can ask, but given the current climate on companies wanting folk in the office more then there’s not a way in hell I would give this concession to a newcomer and risk half my existing team throwing their toys out of the pram. (I don’t necessarily agree with the everyone in for three days approach, but fuck giving myself the management hassle of dealing with the fall out).

If I was the hr manager I’d just say no. One adaptation might be considered eg 9am start but not an extra day wfh plus leaving 90 minutes early. Logging on later is no good when it comes to meetings. You need work close to your house

I would ask. You have nothing to lose, if you cannot take the job without those concessions

You run the risk that it is accepted and then in a few months it is deemed it needs to change for alleged business reasons.

Politely decline the offer.

My workplace might say yes to part of it, if your role is niche enough that it’s hard to recruit to. Being in the office less than everyone else would put backs up though.

Also, we expect newbies in more frequently at first to get to know the place / culture.