AIBU to ask for more flexibility before accepting this job offer?

[Aabbaas]

Have an offer from a company. Been in my role for years and I have lots of flexibility with my working hours which is key as I have a 5 year old DD and do school runs etc.

Role is hybrid: 2 days at home, 3 days in the office. Office is in a part of London which isn’t convenient for me and would mean commuting for 1 hr 45 min door to door.
Day starts at 8:30 to 5:30 but they have made it clear it’s busy so I think extra hours are expected.

I can only consider this role if they allowed me to work from home 3 days a week and start at 9am most days and theb leave at 4pm when in the office and do the pick up. Then I’d reconnect in the evening to finish work.
Is this an unreasonable request? It is what ai do with my employer but have earnt this flexibility over a long tenure and I appreciate a new company might think IABU.

Keen to hear thoughts

then I think it’s good and bad workers. You shouldn’t tar all working parents with the same brush.

parents at my work do not get priority and it’s all very fair.

you must have a bad workplace.

but please don’t assume all working parents are slackers and don’t work. I work bloody hard and have kids and work flexibly. My team gets treated as I want to be.

Where did I say it’s all working parents? Most are fine but the ones that aren’t seem to get away with murder.

Also if you read my last post, it’s not my current employer with the issue.

You’ve got a lot of posts!

you said non-parents pick up the slack. Assuming therefore that parents cause the slack.

apologies if I read it wrong. But your responses do come across as though you don’t agree with flexible working for parents.

a Fellow employee then? You are absolutely right if this role in based in Paddington near the canal then noooo they will not budge!
the emails and the constant reminding at every all staff reminds me of school:)

@Unwelcomeknocking @August1980

I think you both must work where my sister does 😆

Heatwave and cancelled trains? Remember to pack water for your journey 😂

Update which I hope is helpful for some: they have agreed to my request. I will go in 3 days a week (I have found out there is a shortcut to get there in less time, more like 1 hr and 25 min) and they are ok with flexibility around school pick up. There are apparently also another couple of parents in the team with their own flexi working arrangements.
I have accepted the offer.
Sometimes in you don't ask you don't get!

Great news

Great news!

Good on you! Some people on MN seem to be incredibly resentful of flexible work environments - ignore them!

This great and congratulations

I would be very careful as with hybrid types they could change to more days in the office and where would that leave you.
It doesn’t suit so why consider it.

Congratulations.
Never any harm in asking.
Certainly before you sign, which focuses minds and can be in your contract, in black and white.

My friend had great flexibility, but not in her contract, and then a new Head arrived and was difficult about it.
It was annoying.

After a remark that annoyed her in front of others about her leaving early, she spoke to a friend in recruitment and through pure luck had a great offer of a new job within days.
Super flexible and 10k more.
Timing and luck.
She was thrilled.

She quickly resigned and because of having so much leave she was gone in 10 working days.
They were not happy and her Project Manager on her current project, told her they were very disappointed that she hadn't told them she was unhappy.

She said she wasn't unhappy at all, but the new Head's disrespect of her long standing flexible arrangement and public remarks, was the push, and it had now landed her a new great flexible position so it had all worked out.

The Project Manager was very pissed and it became a thing.
She left as planned but was told her position was there if she ever wanted it, they would match her increase and flexibility would be written in.

She has gone from one hours travel to 25 minutes and she said that of itself has been transformative to her life.

Best of luck OP.
Flexibility is priceless when you have children.

Wonderful news - get it in writing!!!

Great news I hope you enjoy your new job

Great news. A good start to a new role. Glad all the doom mongers were wrong. If they are managers I hope they treat flexible requests in a better way going forward

What a silly reply. I’m glad, if surprised, that if worked out for OP (I still wonder how the going home at school pick up & working later will really work, in a new role).

But in terms of other people / organisations - it has to work for the team and organisational dynamic. I would not approve this request, even tho my organisation has quite a lot of flexibility. However, such disjointed working would not benefit our work needs and having multiple different work patterns is not workable for us. It’s not about ‘being inflexible’.

As I said op, bitterness of mn demonstrated here...

In the real world, world has changed, companies more flexible esp to valuable candidates and employees . Well done and congrats for your new role.

no bitterness from me - why would there be?
Just pointing out that in many workplaces, including mine, the arrangement OP wants would not be possible, for business reasons.

I still think OP should have approached it differently, and I remain surprised she so easily got the perfect arrangement she wished for.

Really pleased for you OP. Congratulations. Sorry you met with so much nastiness and resentment on your thread. It was pathetic.

How should she have approached this? I think she approached it perfectly well. If companies have very strict requirements they should put these in the job advert rather than putting flexible or hybrid with no details of what this is. It is very frustrating and common for companies not to put details of what the working hours are and just say flexible or hybrid but no specific details of what this is, which seems to be the case in this case. Similar to companies who do not put salaries on adverts. They would then need to accept much more flexibility.

Ask before you accept, they won’t agree once you’re in. If it doesn’t work for you any other way you’re best off knowing that now. It’s not unreasonable to ask before - I have agreed my flexible working up front in every single job I’ve have since I had kids. Ignore people who tell you it’s “too early on” - jobs have to work for both parties. You’re doing exactly the right thing.

Don’t take the job. 1hr 45min commute is too much with such young children. Flexibility is gold. I know that now!

Flexible working requests are a day one right, and it makes absolute sense for an employer who doesn't need a fixed hour or location to offer it.

I was advertising jobs with flexible working hours pre-agreed years before Covid, because beyond 10-2, there were very few fixed requirements for roles I was offering.

I got genuinely good staff because I didn't have a stick up my arse about them doffing their cap at me and begging for a suitable working pattern after a decorous time of waiting and passed.

I don’t know why you’re surprised, it’s very normal in many places to enable people to have a good work life balance. The companies that insist it’s not possible will see their people vote with their feet. Where I work, productivity went up by 11% when flexibility and hybrid working was introduced. Businesses need to keep up with the changing ways of working or they’ll lose out.