AIBU to ask for more flexibility before accepting this job offer?

[Aabbaas]

Have an offer from a company. Been in my role for years and I have lots of flexibility with my working hours which is key as I have a 5 year old DD and do school runs etc.

Role is hybrid: 2 days at home, 3 days in the office. Office is in a part of London which isn’t convenient for me and would mean commuting for 1 hr 45 min door to door.
Day starts at 8:30 to 5:30 but they have made it clear it’s busy so I think extra hours are expected.

I can only consider this role if they allowed me to work from home 3 days a week and start at 9am most days and theb leave at 4pm when in the office and do the pick up. Then I’d reconnect in the evening to finish work.
Is this an unreasonable request? It is what ai do with my employer but have earnt this flexibility over a long tenure and I appreciate a new company might think IABU.

Keen to hear thoughts

Doesn't hurt to ask. But if there's other good applicants I would assume they'll say no however if you were the best by a mile then you'll be able to negotiate.

You can ask, but even if they say yes, imagine how awkward it will be when you rock in at 9.00am with everyone already at their desks or holding meetings from 8.30 as that’s their business hours, and when you run out of meetings at 4. I assume this is a relatively senior position, it’s not a good look. What might be more palatable is standard working hours ( and try and bake in the ability to stay late on occasion) for less office days per week.

It’s worth asking, but reallly the outcome depends on how sought after your skills are.
we are an onsite first company but recently offered 2 remote roles as we really want them! So if you’re bringing something unique then great; generic project management or something then I doubt you’ll be success

The1 hour 45 minute commute would be enough for me to decline the position.
That's 3 1/2 hours a day. No thank you.
What is this new job offering that you would consider changing jobs?
Are you able to have the children in an afterschool club or have a neighbour do pickups(for a fee of course) on the days you can't.

I work in London and live in a commuting town. Nobody here works close to home. I have been working in central London with a child for the past 5 years and never had an issue and so do most parents I know.

DD already goes to clubs. But in order for me to be at the gate at 5:30/5:45 ish, I need to leave the office at 4pm.
So do all the parents I know.
My current commute door to door is 1 hr 20 min so shorter but not significantly so

You can ask. I have someone in my team who works 8-4 but it was an arrangement that pre-dates me and it doesn’t really work and the rest of the team have to pick up stuff that comes up in the afternoon. I would be unlikely to approve the arrangement again if asked. We also don’t offer any flexibility on the number of days we request people come into the office. I know we’ve made offers to people for roles before that have fallen through because they were asking for a degree of flexibility that we don’t afford our existing staff.

Completely unseasonable so early on. Why did you go for the job?

This is not necessarily the case. My company is run by a dinosaur who thunks nobody should ever work from home. When an agency put me forward for my job, they made it clear I needed flexibility. There is no reason I can’t do my job from home, or work flexible hours. I made it clear it was a condition of my employment. Take it or leave it. They took me on despite their no home working policy. I now work from home most days and do more work than most who are in the office full time.

@Aabbaas it doesn’t hurt to ask, but it should have been raised in the interview.

Because as I said, working patterns aren’t advertised and flexi arrangements are typically discussed at offer stage, not first round.

I think that’s a lot to ask upfront - fewer days in the office, shorter days etc .

Are they, though? That’s never my experience.

Exactly.

I also live in a town near london and work in london. No one i know leaves regularly at 4 unles they are part time. If you want shorter hours why not ask for 4 or 4.5 days spread over 5? Thats a much more reasonable less piss take request.

I will be honest that this doesn’t really work. People claim they will make up the hours but they rarely do. Others talk about completing ‘tasks’ and it doesn’t really matter whether they do them at 0300!

Rushing out the door at 1600 when your hours are later sends a message to others. You might think you have a good reason to leave but others will feel the same and before you know it the hours are all over the place and the poor managers are struggling to track who is doing what. Conference calls are tricky to arrange.

This doesn’t sound like a good fit.

No harm in asking, you’ve nothing to lose. Just be prepared they’ll likely say no, so then you have to turn it down.

Could you not use wrap around care?

Surely the working hours would have been discussed at the interview.

You are self sabotaging it. Could you not use wrap around care, childminder, child's father or relatives to bridge the gaps?

You're not offering anything up though. They want 8.30 - 5 30 x3 days, presumably for collaboration, and you want shorter hours and fewer days - if you said I can do 9-4 but I'll do 4 days then it's a compromise. You are just proposing to take take take with nothing in exchange.

I do! This is London, if I live the office at 4 I get at the school gate at 5:30. That’s the wraparound care and a long enough day for a 5 yo

Ask. The worst they can say is 'No' and you don't take the job, but right now you can't take it anyway, so you've got nothing to lose.

I've learned that you don't get what you want if you don't speak up. I once asked for six weeks holiday when the job offered four. As it was just me and my boss in our department and it was up to him, he said yes. I was amazed and it totally changed my outlook on negotiation. If something is a deal breaker for you, tell them what you need to say yes and see what happens.

Can’t hurt to ask but don’t expect to get the job.

how did we cope pre Covid when we had to attend the office all week?? That’s right we just cracked on and dealt with it

If you were the HR manager it would not be your decision, HR are advisors, not decision makers.

You are getting a hard time here Op,
my 2 cents is that if you don’t ask you don’t get. My experience in professional services is that it’s flexible, around client needs. I agree flexibility is negotiated at the offer stage and it may well depend on your skill set and manager.

W hat have you got to lose? And if they lose a good candidate because of their inflexibility, that’s an important message to send them.