Leaving house to one child and not the other?

[BabyBump1212]

Do you think this is fair? I guess in exceptional circumstances,for example if a child was no contact then maybe, but if both children were close to said parent,no falling out etc. How would you feel about this?

I don’t understand why people say wills pit siblings against eachother. My brother struggles financially and I don’t. When my mother raised it with me I told her to give most of it to my brother. He needs it, I don’t. It doesn’t always have to be nasty.

Your partner needs to step away.
You have been drip feeding little bits of information making it difficult to get a true picture of the situation. This has resulted in comments which have no relevance to what I think is your current situation.
Proving coercive control or challenging a will takes time, massive emotional investment and financial cost. It is best to draw a line in the sand now. Cut all contact and let them deal with the consequences.
Concentrate on living the best lives and concentrate on your own family unit.ooʻ

Can I ask if you have children? Your attitude is fine if you are single or you have children and you can already afford to put them through university and give them house deposits but if you can’t then any inheritance would make a difference.

Your parent needs to be paying the market rate. This is a legal requirement.

Is there a Lasting Power of Attorney in place and are you an attorney? Are you a trustee of the will?

IIRC, unless the rent paid is at a market rate then HMRC consider it a Gift With Reservation and they take a very dim view of that. There will be a tax bill incoming to the Golden Child, methinks.

And of course, Golden Child is now in a position to sell the house from under the parent, making the parent homeless. Because it's theirs now, innit?

@BabyBump1212 Daisy Goodwin wrote a very good piece on this which she put on Substack and it has a huge reaction showing how people feel about being left out. Very worth a read.
All you can do is leave them to it and get in with your lives . But imo it's very unfair. Different if siblings were still dependents.

Up to the giver, unless they've been coerced and lied to or they are leaving money to a disabled child for care.

Yes I have adult children and they could use money for a deposit. However they really aren’t my parents’ responsibility and I can’t expect them to prioritise them over their own son.

No but they shouldn’t prioritise their son over their daughter. I would also expect a mother to put her children before her brother.
I am just so against treating children differently. I know my mother has put my brother before my sister and I. TBH, I really don’t care but my sister does. The funny thing is that it will probably all go on nursing home fees.

I agree with you. I'm not that flush but db was really struggling financially due to a bad accident which he originally got pip for but was then told he was fit to work (he wasn't). I would have been fine with him getting the lion share of our parents' estate even though I have 4 dc and he had none. My dc are doing well and they are not my parents' responsibility. Unfortunately db died 2 years ago so it's all pie in the sky now. My parents did their will last month and they have left everything to me and if I predecease them to my dc equally.

I agree. It's clear on this thread that there is no perfect "one size fits all' solution. However, my sister has had thousands of pounds of support from my parents, mostly to offset situations she got herself into. For example, spending all her money on holidays and very expensive hobbies and then pleading poverty when it came to buying a family property, eventually being sold it for approx 30% under market value. While I saved for my deposit. And there were no more family properties for me to buy (sister is older). Yes, my parents get to make their own decisions, but it absolutely does feel like mums message is that she loved my sister more than me. So she got to make her decisions but it's shit. Fortunately for me, mum told me this while she was still alive and I got to tell her what I thought of it and how it felt. Not sure it changed her opinion much but she couldn't pretend I was happy about her plans 1

So the parent was living in their fully paid-off house with one of their adult children and has now signed the house over to this child who is charging their parent rent???

This is so many levels of wrong, I wouldn't know where to start.

The sibling who lives further away should keep their distance. The whole set-up is completely unfair and I don't know what the parent was thinking.

Thank you. Yes that's is pretty much the gist of it.

I would let the sibling living with mum take over all mums care needs. I wouldn't spend my time running around after finding out they wanted to protect my siblings future but not mine if there was no bad blood previously.

My parent had it done to them by their parent (my grandparent) there was no bad blood but it was awful and sad. Lots of animosity between sibling set of 4 now when 2 got £200k each and 2 got nothing.

Very unfair.

This is telling the left out child that they are not worth as much. Not considered, not liked and not thought about.

If it was me I'd go very low contact and leave them to it.

The left out child has pretty much said once the parent has died,they'll be going NC with the golden child. Not sure why they don't now,to be honest. They are still running around like a loon after said parent, despite the distance 😞

Hmm my dad left all his stuff and money to my sister. ( Not house that passed to his wife as joint tenants)

No dilemma, it is what it is. My mum left 60% of house to one brother and 20% each to other 2 of us.

Our relationships haven't changed since this

Slightly different,still unfair in my eyes but you still got acknowledgement.

deleted.

From my mum or my dad do you mean

That’s not what the poster is asking though is it? We all know that we ‘’can’ leave whatever we like to whoever we want, but that doesn’t make it fair.

In this case…it’s a house, being left solely to one sibling and excluding the other, with no reasonable justification (according to the OP).

She is asking if this is ‘fair’, which of course it isn’t! I’m not sure how any reasonable parent would be able to justify this…nor how the siblings would navigate their relationship afterwards! It’s deeply unfair!

It's a great way to fuck up at least one of your children and to destroy their relationship into the bargain.

They've been trained. Same in my family.

If the rent is only nominal, rather than at market value, it sounds like a gift with reservation of benefit, and HMRC won't be very impressed.
Either way, the house is already in the paws of golden child, so it sounds like that horse has bolted.
Are you absolutely sure they didn't buy the house from the parent to free up some cash for them in old age like an informal equity release? The whole thing sounds a bit messy.

No they definitely couldn't afford this on a part time salary. The house is worth almost a million.