Leaving house to one child and not the other?

[BabyBump1212]

Do you think this is fair? I guess in exceptional circumstances,for example if a child was no contact then maybe, but if both children were close to said parent,no falling out etc. How would you feel about this?

Well obviously it’s completely unfair. They are making wild assumptions that the left our child’s partner will receive any amount of inheritance or the type of value this might be in comparison.

the child who is in the will should be firmly advocating for their sibling with their parents, unless of course they are heartless greedy fuckers who don’t value their siblings existence at all.

Everything should be divided equally between the children. Anything else is unfair and causes no end of resentment.
Saying that one will be left out because their partner will inherit is ridiculous because there might be nothing left to inherit if it all has to go on a care home or they might split.
The only time I think it's fair to leave a house to one child and not share it is if there are significant disabilities and care needs which means the child cannot earn for themselves or similar scenarios like that.

My parents left 1 of 4 out. They had reason for this. My father had been in business with the 1 who then ripped him off. The reasons were all documented with solicitor when drawing up will in case he challenged it. After everything was settled the 1 decided to block the rest of us with no explanation. It may not even be down to the will.

My dad always said the house goes to my sister. She lives local, potentially might live in it, so that was that. It is theirs to do as they wish.

This and that's all there is to it

It's unfair regardless. Trust me OP the resentment it creates is a reason alone to give equally.

But also, I think the gifter should let everyone know in advance so they can explain their reasoning before they die and everyone falls out!

Way to go when you need a falling out with family members, going down a few generations....

Parents who do this are really unfair as the underlying message is that they love one child much more than the other.

At least the child who has been left out of the will can leave the responsibility for caring for their elderly parents to the favoured sibling.

I get what people are saying when they say it's 'unfair' but I wouldn't mind a bit if my parents left my sister the house and not me. She could never afford a house, and I already have one. I'd feel guilty taking something I don't need just because it's 'fair'.

This. Happened to someone I know. None of the siblings speak now. All very sad and very divisive.

It's easy to be saint like when it's hypothetical isn't it?

Then it should be up to you what you want to do with your share.

You could do that when your parent died if you chose.

When FIL died he left his garage to DH and BIL equally. DH has no interest in cars and BIL has built and fixed cars in that garage for years. So DH suggested a deed of variation. BIL received the garage, but DH knew FIL saw them as equal (and given FIL and BIL had the cars hobby in common that could, for some people, have made things feel very uneven had FIL excluded DH).

I think it’s unfair

I remember reading an article once from someone well heeled and famous (think it was Cameron Mackintosh but might be remembering that bit incorrectly) anyhow they were saying how much it meant to them that their parents left everything equally between all children. I liked that - he may have inherited and the. Given his share away to siblings but he appreciated being recognised

The parents can of course choose to do whatever they want to do with their assets. That includes them being so dense that they cause a family rift, but that’s still their prerogative. Now it’s known, the harm has been done.

You're probably right, easier said than done. It probably won't come to it because I imagine my parents will be 'fair' and split whatever they have equally. But I hope I have the strength and generosity to make sure it's given back to my sister because she deserves it. She supported me a long time ago when she couldn't really afford to, because noone else could. I could never really repay her, though I try. (She's also too proud to accept it!) It's only through dumb luck that I'll be comfortable for life (barring a disaster) and she will probably struggle for the rest of hers. Of course, our story is quite specific and I wouldn't expect everyone to react the same way. I don't judge anyone either for their specific feelings on it either.

Sorry for the essay!

Oh wow that is not okay on any level at all. Ir tell them so and if they didn’t change it, I’m not sure I’d be able to see them again since they’re clearly a pair of nasty, despicable individuals.

Well let's hope their partner's parents don't do the same thing...

It's up to the parents who they leave their estate to. But it would be enough for me to cut them and my sibling out of my life. It isn't about the money, it's about the principle of choosing one child over another. I'd rather they left the whole lot to charity than show that kind of favouritism.

I reckon my grandmother will do this. It will be both her and my grandad’s legacy. If she does it would seem like the fairest thing that ever happened. She has four children and one of them is her live in carer who would benefit from staying in the house after she passes, it would be beyond cruel to kick her out. It was her childhood home and she has lovingly renovated it while caring for her mother, and her mother benefited significantly from this. In the last few years she has barely been able to leave the house due to caring responsibilities and gave up her job to care.
one sibling is retired and disabled. Sure they would benefit from the money but I expect maybe my grandmother would given them a bequest not an equal portion.
the other two are much better off and mostly unable to help with care due to their responsibilities of their jobs and kids. They are married and homeowners. They are close to their mum and talk to her all the time and will miss her very much but also love their sister who did the caring and are beyond grateful that she sacrificed so much, they wouldn’t be looking at their mum wanting a gift. They might hope for an item maybe with a particular memory. No one will want the sister to leave taht house.

I 'inherited ' a house from a parent recently (I say inherited but it was slightly more complicated). My brother had nothing. So I sold the property and gave him half.

My mom is leaving her condo (I’m American - so an owned flat) to my brother to sell. He doesn’t have a house and I do so she feels he needs it more. Coincidentally I’ve immigrated and he lives just a 6 hour flight away so she sees more of him. I’m sure that’s part of it too.

Their partner will inherit 🤔

Sounds like some sexist bullshit about expecting a man will be providing for her. I can't imagine the parents are writing out a son because his wife will inherit.

Anyway, as you've said, they're backfilling the reason, so it's moot. They've already done the damage now, even if they reconsider.

Fine. Provided the other gets cash equivalent. Otherwise not fair at all.