Leaving house to one child and not the other?

[BabyBump1212]

Do you think this is fair? I guess in exceptional circumstances,for example if a child was no contact then maybe, but if both children were close to said parent,no falling out etc. How would you feel about this?

Totally unfair. If you want your adult children to retain a relationship then leave a fair will. Anything else is unfair and unreasonable.

Unfair even where one child is materially better off than the other eg through work or marriage. I'd only ever do something other than a 50/50 split of one child was significantly better or worse off through something outside their control eg disability, lottery win, and even then I'd be cautious about it.

Of course no one knows what a will says unless someone tells them, this may not be what the will says at all, just assumptions.

Based on the limited information provided in the OPs posts, it sounds very unfair.
if for example, one child cut contact with the parent or was abusive to that parent, while the other did everything for them, in that instance I might consider favouring one over the other.

in my famil of siblings we have all done well career wise but one has done particularly well. Our parents have split their will equally between all siblings, which all siblings are in agreement with.

Based on the limited information provided in the OPs posts, it sounds very unfair.
if for example, one child cut contact with the parent or was abusive to that parent, while the other did everything for them, in that instance I might consider favouring one over the other.

in my famil of siblings we have all done well career wise but one has done particularly well. Our parents have split their will equally between all siblings, which all siblings are in agreement with.

Are you the partner of one of the siblings?

No not estranged at all. Still visiting regularly,keeps in touch etc. No I'll feeling at all.

For you to care so much and be bothered enough to start this thread, it’s either you or your DP.
The answer is it’s entirely down to the parents how they split their will. You can be unhappy about it, but that won’t change it.
Is this your DP/his parents, and you are the partner who they say will inherit from your own parents?
If you are honest with yourself, is there truth in the future scenario they perceive, that you will also inherit but their other child will only get an inheritance from them? Is that likely inheritance sizeable enough for these parents to feel comfortable trying to balance things out?

It’s awful but it’s MNs so you will be told get over it etc.

So this happened to me. My mum passed years ago and didn’t have a will. Dad was controlled by my older sister, I’m the youngest. My db passed away 3 years before dad. I live 300 miles away due to my ex husband’s job.
I rarely visited due to poor relationship with my mum. However when she died and most recently my db I was in contact and visited. Infrequent by still visited due to being a single parent and self employed. Ie when I don’t work I don’t get paid due to the nature of my job.

my dad left my sister 60%, me 25% and her daughter 15% and sister got the house. Bear in mind I’m in rented and she has a house.

ds didn’t even give me my inheritance for 2 years (no probate) I had to threaten legal
action against her.

our relationship is non existent now thanks to dad. My sister always said she should get the lions share as she did a lot for dad. She was a martyr and boy did she make sure she got it.

sadly she felt it ok to keep everything all his possessions and the house. I wasn’t allowed to go and get any keepsakes. All my childhood stuff and photos are gone. It’s like she has wiped me
from our family history. She didn’t even give my brothers two children anything due to a silly situation and likely grief when he died.

I hope she rots in hell

I am one of 3 siblings.
We live at different parts of the country (some closer to my parents than others) We each earn different amounts in income/savings.
My parents have made it clear in their Will that it will be split equally between the 3 of us.
The fairest way that doesn't cause ill feeling to anyone....

OP, while no-one can tell anyone else what to do with their money, and an inheritance is a bonus rather than an expectation, I think to leave a house to one DC and not the other is not only a monstrous injustice, but also immensely hurtful to the DC who’s left out. If they have told the DC that this is to happen, don’t be surprised if the left out DC gradually withdraws - whoever has written such an unfair will has made it very plain which DC they favour.

Well there will be now.

Very very unfair, clear favouritism.

There must be some ill feeling. Maybe your friend just doesn't want to admit to something that would cause their parent to leave them out of the will.

I think its an arsehole move but people are entitled to do what they want with their will.

Well is the other child being left something else? Of similar value? It doesn’t matter that the other child’s partner may inherit. What if they e split up by then? What if the one inheriting the house gets a partner who is well off?
The only fair way is to split the estate 50/50 and not second guess ifs and maybes as things can change.

I hate wills that pit siblings against each other.

There are some exceptional circumstances where I understand it - i.e. a child that cannot live independently for any reason may need money for ongoing care. Or maybe a child has had a large loan from the parents that the will takes into account, so that overall the money has been split fairly but the will in isolation may look unfair. Or when one child lived with the parent, and financially contributed to the running and upkeep of the house (although this example can also be fraught with opinions).

But otherwise, wills should be an equal split.

The only situation I have known where this happened there were 3 siblings, sibling one had a fairly normal life, small business owner etc, the second had a very chaotic life, drugs, alcohol, prison etc, parents had paid for rehab a number of times had set them up in their own rented accommodation a number of times, paid off fines and debts etc, the third child was profoundly disabled. In that circumstance child one was left the family home solely, on the basis the third child lived there too and was cared for at home (with paid carers paid for by the estate, there was some kind of trust set up for the third child) they didn't give more money to the more problematic child as they'd had more than their inheritance over the years already and they worried he'd end up dead with a large sum of money. I think that's quite an exceptional circumstance though and it had been agreed with the first child before the wills were written.

This scenario happened exactly to someone I know. Her father said that as the daughters had married, then their husbands would be providing for them. The father left the house, business and all the assets to the sons. This caused a massive amount of hurt and a family rift that has not healed.

Oh wait.

This was in 1983 and the person was my grandmother. Her father, who was born in the 1890s and fought in the First World War, constructed his will in this way. A true Victorian gentleman. But it wasn’t acceptable in 1983 and it certainly isn’t acceptable in 2026.

I disagree that it is always fair to treat children the same.

Then the parent doing this is, frankly, stupid. And unthinkingly cruel.

Just because that child has a partner who MAY inherit, it is no guarantee that they will. The partner's parents may need a great deal of care and there is no inheritance. Or the child and their partner may split. Or the partner could die and the partner's parents decide not to leave it to their deceased child's partner. Or the partner could fall out with their parents and be written out of the will.

If I can think of all these ways to not inherit, why can't they? Stupid. Cruel.

And don't get me started on the wedge it will drive between their two children. Stupid. Cruel.

Oh hang on….do the parents really dislike/distrust the partner and not want half their estate to potentially fall in to their hands should the DC and partner split?
That I could sort of understand.

I’m sure there are situations where it is Ok but most of the time it isn’t. My mum revealed that she was leaving her house to a sibling and invented a reason why I didn’t deserve it. I was always the least favourite child so it was painful but not surprising. The funny thing is I’m quite comfortable and the sibling isn’t. If she’d just said that the sibling needs it more I’d have accepted it. But it just became another way I felt my mum had emotionally abused me. I am no contact with her now

Not fair. Yes it is the gift of someone, but honestly you must hate both your children to gift significantly to one and not the other - imagine your parting message to one of your children being that you do not love them enough to leave any provision for them after your death, but sibling can take all.

As a side note, the beneficiary could always vary the will post-death to even things out. I could never in good conscience take if my sister had been left out.

The norm is equal but leaving a child out is more common than you would
think.

Reasons usually estrangement often after divorce so a child takes other parents side/ theft by adult child/ one child massively financially successful and other isn’t.