Leaving house to one child and not the other?

[BabyBump1212]

Do you think this is fair? I guess in exceptional circumstances,for example if a child was no contact then maybe, but if both children were close to said parent,no falling out etc. How would you feel about this?

Why won’t the child inheriting potential inherit from their partners family too?!

No it is not fair, it’s just bad parenting

Perhaps the person living close by is doing the lions share of care giving/companionship and that's another hreason.

It doesn’t sound fair on the face of things. Are they both biological children (maybe they’re not and don’t know it)?

My DM, before her death, strongly hinted She would leave more to my sister on the grounds" I worry about her more". This is sister who retired early, declined to rent out a property she could have had a great passive income from, and maintains expensive hobbies. When mum started, I pointed out how incredibly hurtful it was to play favourites in this way and that my sister had already been given massive amounts, whereas I had had nothing.

Then mum got ill, had a difficult last few years of life, and guess where favourite daughter was? Yep, nowhere to be seen. Sitting with mum while she asked why my sister was not there was awful.

DF is so angry he doesn't want to leave anything to DSister. I have advised him just to split things as I don't want the hassle after he's gone. He's helping me more now to balance things up, but in general, I think children should get equal amounts, unless of disabilities and or something like a farm

Always children should be treated equally in life and death. It shouldn’t be dependent on anything. It is not for a parent to even things up. I would still leave my children the same amount each even if one had stopped talking to me.

So mums house is left to my brother's none for me. She had some money that she gave me as my inheritance (a small bit more than my share of house) my brothers have autism and its a way to make sure they have some where to live. Everything else is split equally. I bought a house so I dont really need mums.

My dad is doing the same. The house if not used for his care will goto my sister as she was primary live in carer for mum for years and is now helping him. I have no problem with this. We are very grateful for what she did for mum and she also lost income as she gave up work when mum declined in Covid as she didn’t want her to go in a home. Stopping work has an impact long into the future and doesn’t just cost her the immediate loss of income.

Otherwise, I think things should be equal and take account gifts help given prior aiming one got a huge house deposit and the other didn’t this should be reflected in the Will.

Balancing things out because one is doing better than the other is not fair as that may be penalising one who worked harder/ sacrificed more etc. If one child has had a very bad hand in life that would be different.

I don’t think this situation sounds fair and is going to cause pain between the siblings.

In this situation where the parent is so wildly unfair I always hope that the sibling who inherited would do the moral thing and share 50/50. I would without a doubt.

After my mum died my dad had changed his will and left everything to my brother. With the house and savings it's a lot of money. It's his money and he can do what he wants with it. Myself and my sisters are ok financially but it does hurt that he thinks so little of us.

I think it’s a horrible thing to do.

Technically unfair but if my parents decided to leave everything to my sibling and nothing to me, I would be fine with it as my sibling has had a harder life than me and isn't able to afford their own property easily whereas I don't need any help.

Your children won't speak to each other for the rest of their lives

Even if that's the case,still very unfair.

Yes they are.

Obviously since this has recently come to light,it's created ill feeling. How could it not?

It’s a shitty thing to do and a great way to ruin your relationship with one of your children in your golden years. I have children and I couldn’t possibly fathom a world in which I’d leave everything to one and not the other whatever the circumstances.

It’s bound to cause bad feeling. An uneven split causes bad feeling even when it’s entirely fair.

My siblings hate me for inheriting my Nana’s flat, even though when she bought it for she and I to live in after Grandad died she gave them (and my Aunt) their inheritance at that point as I was 12 and she wanted me to have security if she died.

So to do it for no obvious reason is going to cause all sorts of bad feeling.

My parents are leaving their house to my brother and I am all for it.

They have already given me so much and helped me out enormously-I don’t expect anything else and am of the belief it’s theirs, to do with as they wish.

I think it’s awful to exclude one child unless there are exceptional circumstances. My brother was a millionaire, and had lived on the other side of the world for 40 years. He came to visit every two or three years for a week or so at a time. Our parents divorced and when my dad died, he hadn’t left a will but it never crossed my mind that he shouldn’t benefit from my dad’s estate - we ended up splitting it equally three ways with my mum. My mum updated her will several times over the years and always specified tjst my brother and I should receive equal amounts - the onmy exception was that she specifically left me hwr jewellery. I didn’t have a problem with that at all - regardless of the huge difference in our financial situations, my mum was his mother two and loved him unreservedly. Sadly as things turned out, he predecessors her but if he hadn’t died I would have been happy to has shared our mums estate equally with him.

I don't think so.

Very unfair, you can't stop it causing a rift between siblings.

If you've already had your share in advance, then that's really not the same situation. Children should be treated equally unless there are really exceptional circumstances.

In the situation OP's described, it's a terrible decision. No one can rely on a spouse or partner inheriting. It's a terribly destructive choice.

That's slightly different. You've already had financial help.

Unless one child is disabled with serious care needs, inheritance should be equal. Otherwise there will be hurt feelings.

If there are sufficient assets, the children can let one child use liquid assets to offset shares in the house at a fair price.