Should I apologise to this mum?

[Cringecringecringecringe]

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

It certainly used to be. Not a good look either tbh.

Don't apologise, it will only make things worse. She probably thinks you're an arsehole. Note to yourself - think before you speak next time. As a mother of 5 sons, I get tired of being asked if I kept trying for a girl. The answer is no, I'm very happy with my sons and very close to them as adults.

What a stupid post, your honestly have handed your baby back???
I hate all of these threads saying how girls are harder work than boys, it’s rubbish and it’s normally said by someone who hasn’t patented a girl and seems to use this to prove how lucky they are to have sons.
I get gender disappointment is real but saying you’d hand a girl back is unbelievable.
And I say this as a boy and girl mum.

You’re probably overthinking it, as a boy mum having a girl really didn’t appeal so if someone had said it to me I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid, I am and always will be glad I had a boy!!

I think I would find it weird that you have made a load of assumptions and projections as to what your baby will be like just because they have a vagina! Babies and children are their own people, they won’t necessarily act the way you think, like the things you think they should, or behave in gender specific ways.

I have a friend who wanted a girl, and she treats her boy like an afterthought because she wanted another girl. And in that group, all my friends had girls first and had a little smug chat about how they were so pleased they were guaranteed a girl, and I have an only boy.

Whilst many PP on this thread have said they'd just raise their brows and think you were an idiot, there's every possibility that you've been able absolute twat to a woman who's sick to death of those comments.

Me, I was pleased to learn that I had a boy just because I found everyone guessing insufferable (and everyone guessed girl, so I was pleased to shove it in their faces!). He's an amazing child, and it's nothing to do with his sex, it's because he's a lovely little fellow.

Give me a son any day over a daughter!

I’m lucky to have one of each and honestly, i do not get why you would prefer one over the other as they each bring their own delights and challenges. Most importantly, I hope your daughter is healthy and happy.

When I said I was having a boy, I was constantly told girls were awful by women.

It wound me up because it was half "consolation" that I didn't want or need, and half an insult to my sex (at all ages).

I hope you never tell your daughter this. You’re as bad as the OP is

I’d already think OP is a weirdo and not someone I’d want to socialize with or have around my boys tbh as she obviously thinks female children are somehow superior 😆
If she then apologized for rubbing my face in her having a girl I’d think she was really weird, rude and a bitch.
just leave this woman alone OP! Your weirdness isn’t the ladies fault. If she avoids you at the social stuff you know why.

Jesus fucking Christ. You sound like an absolute delight.

The problematic comment was ‘relax for the rest of pregnancy’
it goes beyond a perfectly acceptable excitement, and moves in to an active fear and disappointment in having a boy, which is unpleasant

i love my 2 nieces beyond reason, I don’t like any of the teenage girls are a nightmare comments

to actively not enjoy pregnancy until confirmed you are having a girl is a direct and deliberate negativity towards boys, not a healthy approach to pregnancy

I’d also think she was a twat as I only have boys and am so fed up of bitchy comments about oh having a girl means they will always be close to you, boys always choose their in laws when they get older etc etc, I’d hate to be the boys side when they have children and on and on.

I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it

Why? Do you think every boy mum wishes they’d had a girl? Don’t be so silly, forget the conversation and move on

lol. My DH is much closer to his family than I am to mine. Both very loving and normal families, but he speaks to his mum every day and I speak to mine once a month. We live 20 minutes from his mum and an hour from mine.

You might find that that smugness suits you less well in 20 years.

When I was pregnant I was absolutely convinced I was having a girl, it was long before scans became available that indicated what sex the baby would be.
I bought quite a few babygirl clothes and looked forwards to being the proud mum of a daughter. Then, when the baby was born and the midwife announced... "It's a boy" – it felt so right. He is now a beautiful big strong strapping man.

Moral, as long as your baby is well, be thankful and happy, and NEVER presume one will be more loved than the other.

Nope - you are definitely being weird.

You didn’t sound smug you just sounded like a right twat. I wonder if the other mum has stopped laughing yet!

You also sound like you are going to be an absolutely terrible mother. I feel sorry for your poor baby, she didn’t ask for you as a mum and she deserves better. She will be an individual, her own person. She doesn’t have to conform to your idea of what a girl should be. And as for the idea that girls are closer to their mums than boys, what a ridiculous outdated stereotype. I imagine your daughter will be no contact with you by the time she’s 18 unless you can seriously reflect on your attitude and make some changes fast.

It’s a personal thing. Not all mums want to be girl mums and vice versa. I only really wanted boys but would have been happy with a girl but it genuinely wasn’t a big deal. Hopefully she was just happy for you. Oh and Congratulations!

What an awful thing to say about your daughter

🤣🤣🤣

“I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one”

what the hell would you have done with the boys?!

What makes you think girls are closer to their families as adults?! Do you have statistics to reference or is that your own bias? The only faux pas is your overt gender stereotyping.