Should I apologise to this mum?

[Cringecringecringecringe]

I’ve recently had the scan to find out that I’m having a girl and to say I’m thrilled is an understatement as I desperately wanted a girl and honestly would have kept going until I got one.

I was talking to a Mum at my gym before the class started who I was sure also had a daughter. She asked me if I knew what I was having and I told her I was having a girl and in my excitement I did get a bit carried away in my enthusiasm about having a girl rather than a boy.

The mum didn’t say much in reply and then the class started so I didn’t think much of it until I was in the cafe after and saw her with her child who is definitely a boy.

I know feel super awkward about it as I think I might have come across a bit OTT about having a girl and I’m a bit worried it might have come across as a bit smug to a boy mum and like I was rubbing her face in it which definitely wasn’t my intention

I was lying in bed replaying the conversation and i just keep cringing. I’m wondering if I need to apologize to her tomorrow or would it make it worse ??

There is quite a bit social side to my gym with lots of activities for mums and little ones which I know this Mum is very involved in so I really don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.

Does anyone have any advice ?

Ooh I'm so superior and made boy AND. girl babies.
Imagine being as awesome as me OP
🙄

What would you be rubbing in her face though? I don’t get it? Maybe she went away feeling sorry for you you were having a girl? Such a weird thread. What on earth did you say other than ‘I’m having a girl’ to then be worried about?

I have two girls, never have I thought having them was superior to someone who had two boys, a girl and a boy, whatever.

Your baby isn’t even here yet anyway 🤷‍♀️

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

Leave it, sometimes it’s worse to carry an awkward conversation on . It’s done, worst case scenario she thinks you’re a bit strange to care so much. Most likely she has forgotten about it already. We think far less about other people’s interactions than our own.

If the OP comes back I'll eat my (pink) hat
has to be pink given I'm a girl

Perhaps she'll have twin girls and call them Sam and Ella 😁

Oh no, don't apologise. You should be allowed to be excited about having a girl, without being afraid of upsetting someone who has a boy. I know most women - it seems - are desperate for a daughter, but if she's not, and is happy with her son(s,) then no harm done. If she is desperate for a girl, then unfortunately, it's just one of those things. You should not be scared to celebrate your daughter for fear of offending.

So if OP was having a boy would she feel that everyone who had a girl would be rubbing HER! Face in it.

Very good. 🏅 😆

Don’t apologise but you probably came off extremely strange.

I don’t see what use an apology would do, you’ve outed yourself as someone who is objectifying their baby and placing value on something meaningless. Your child will be who your child is regardless of sex. She will probably avoid you because you have an extreme view on the merits of having a girl but an apology isn’t going to change that. You haven’t said anything offensive you need to apologise for, however most people are just happy to be having a healthy baby regardless of sex and the fact you wouldn’t have been happy with a boy is certainly an unpleasant opinion. I doubt she’ll want her son to be around you considering you see no value in boys and if she shares this with other mums then at least 50% of them will feel the same so maybe you’ll need to look to join baby groups etc in a different area.

Why would you be rubbing her face in it? I have a DS and he is the most wonderful child I could ever wish for. I would have thought you were a prize moron for waffling on because you were having a girl and inferring that a son would have been an inferior booby prize.

I feel as though everyone's being a bit overly sensitive in this thread.

Maybe you were being a bit extra, but it doesn't sound that bad, and by apologising you'll just draw more attention to it.

If I was the other mum I honestly wouldn't have thought much of it, other than perhaps you were a little excessively keen on having a girl. I wouldn't have felt insulted, hurt, or anything like that.

That's so rude, pitying you for having all boys! There are good and bad in both!

Why so down on having a boy? No plans to have a second, I’m guessing? I have one of each, and then I have nieces who are sisters and nephews who are brothers. Guess what?! We couldn’t haven’t predicted anything about how they’d be as offspring or who they’d have a close relationship with etc based on gender alone. You could have a daughter and she’s not remotely interested in any of the things you are and won’t enjoy all the mummy and daughter things you think you’ll do together.

I feel as though everyone's being a bit overly sensitive in this thread.

I think they're just taking the bait, that's all.

It'll be interesting to see if the OP graces us with their presence again.

Yeah as a boy Mum I would definitely just think you are strange.

i would absolutely not think in any way you were rubbing it in my face because you have a girl. So what?!?!

If you apologised for that fact that I had boys and you got a girl it would solidify to me that you are in fact insane and your poor child is in for a very strange upbringing.

But you do you

To apologise for what? The fact that she has a son? She probably went quiet because (A) she couldn't get a word in for you bleating on about having a girl and (B) you came across as being a bit nutty. Do you really believe that every mother who has a son walks around feeling disappointed for the rest of their lives? It's such a tired old notion to be placing such a significant amount of value on. If you're that determined you don't want a boy you really shouldn't be procreating, it's not fair to any potential son you might have.

🎣
good work op

You are very unreasonable to think having a boy is inferior to having a girl, and that you are more lucky than your friend because she has a boy.
If I was her I would have been offended because you are implying that my child is somehow less wanted than yours. But the damage has been done now I don't think an apology would help. What could you say anyway without making it worse?
If it was me I would just avoid you.

can i ask what are you expecting from a girl ? and what happens if they don’t in any way live up to those expectations?

will you keep going until you do get the type if girl you expect ?

Being a boy mum is not a bad thing so she probably didn't take an offence. She must just think you were being weird. Why are people so obsessed with having a child of a certain gender, are boys inferior? How would it sound if you bumped into a dad and he was bragging that he only has sons and it's so great because boys are better than girls? With the current rates of infertility, miscarriages, stillbirths and other issues, every baby is a miracle that should be celebrated. Despite the gender and whatever preference people might have. There really is no need to brag to strangers that your child is one gender not the other, it's not some kind of an achievement

Your feelings about having a girl wouldn't bother me at all.
I've never had any strong feelings about the sex of my children and think it really strange when people vehemently prefer male or female children ,but if you do ,and you get want you prefer id be pleased for you.
I only think it strange because i don't think girls are superior to boys, or vice versa (as many places in the world do).
The woman you waxed lyrical to about having a girl may have a)thought you a bit odd ,b)not given it another thought as your preference are nothing to do with her.c)secretly think boys are preferable but kept quiet,d)been keen for a girl herself and felt envious....
Either way i wouldnt apologise it would just cause embarrassment.
good luck with your baby.